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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be aghast at friend with bottle feeding....

107 replies

Babylon1 · 16/05/2012 19:12

I don't know whether I ABU or not here....

Don't want to drip feed, so here goes.....

Friend has a baby just over 5 months, was EBF for first 6 weeks then mixed BF/FF until approx 10 weeks then FF........ Fast forward to now, and friend has told me that for babys last feed at night, she adds an extra couple of scoops of formula to "bulk out" the milk so baby sleeps longer, and she's been doing this for quite sometime.

Am I right to think that this is not good practice? I've never done it with my DCs and it just doesn't sit right with me.

I'm struggling to fill up ds1 with my milk and she suggested I add a scoop of formula to each expressed bottle (I'm finding it easier to express than bf thru the day times but bf at nights)

Any thoughts, is this normal, do others do it??

OP posts:
ShakeWhatYourMamaGaveYou · 16/05/2012 20:35

Don't do it. Stupid idea.

The worst thing I've heard on this subject is a friend of mine who's mother mixed a RAW EGG into the last bottle of the evening to get her to sleep through the night Shock

Not sure how young that madness started but she appears to be ok...

southeastastra · 16/05/2012 20:36

so you're trying to support your friend by posting this on aibu Hmm

CherryBlossom27 · 16/05/2012 20:38

Yes I've definitely lost count before.....LO is on 8 scoops and I'm a tired mum :o I start again if I've completely gone wrong, but I try to concentrate when I'm making up bottles!

BertieBotts · 16/05/2012 20:44

I'd definitely lose count! I lose count of how many sugars I put in my tea, I only have one Confused

marriedinwhite · 16/05/2012 20:45

It's silly. Can you do a naughty little white lie or even the truth if you dare "I thought it sounded like it might be a good idea and I checked with hv/gp and she said not to because "............". I thought I should let you know, I'm so glad I asked and now we know and neither of our babies will be harmed. It sounded such a good idea and I'm so pleased you told me but......

sweetkitty · 16/05/2012 20:46

Sometimes you just have to mind your own business though, risks and baby rice in bottles for 6 weeks old. Babies shoved in kitchens in their buggies mum upstairs with iPod on to drown out the screaming, weaning at 8 weeks because they're do hungry milk was not enough and look they love me stuffing orange mush into them Sad

Heyyyho · 16/05/2012 20:48

really fucking stupid and dangerous it could dehydrate the baby does she know how serious that is?

Lovelynewboots · 16/05/2012 20:48

I personally think everyone is overreacting a bit on this thread. When my two oldest were little the advice was to start weaning at four months which is what I did. (They are ten and eight), I would talk to your friend as obviously there are health concerns but do it calmly and supportively.

Mrsjay · 16/05/2012 20:52

yes i weaned what is now seen as early lovely but i think adding extra formula isnt really great for the baby stomach , i dont think its life threatening but can lead to long term damage ,

Sargesaweyes · 16/05/2012 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

southeastastra · 16/05/2012 21:02

god i hate all this long term damage wank

no wonder new mothers are neurotic these days

MoonlightandRoses · 16/05/2012 21:11

If she is suffering a bit from PND / lack of support - there's a great practical book on feeding (from birth to 5) you could get her. It's Feed your Child Well and was written by three paediatric dieticians. I would imagine there are cheaper copies floating around too, just Amazon is the easiest place to link from.

scuzy · 16/05/2012 21:20

god i feel for your friend. i personally didnt realise this was dangerous. i never did it i used the dispenser that was prefilled with the scoops because i would lose count and have to bin it and was wasting formula. i knew it had to be the right amount but never thought why. but genuinely perhaps she doesnt know this??

def say you looked it up. be gentle with her if you think she has pnd. she sounds like she is on her own here.

Original poster
Babylon1 · 16/05/2012 21:21

Thanks again, some really great advice here.

Apart from you Southeastastra

I asked if I was being unreasonable because I genuinely didn't know whether this was the norm; I've never been in the situation.

Yes I am trying to support my friend but didn't wanna go in all guns blazing when I didn't know the facts, so don't go giving me the Hmm maybe you should come down off your high horse and breathe the same air as the rest of usWink

I can be totally up front and honest with my friend, and I can guarantee she will be horrified when I tell her she could be causing damage to her dc.

OP posts:
scuzy · 16/05/2012 21:23

babylon ignore the stupid comments. i do see you are being a good friend. but def tell her in a softly softly approach.

Original poster
Babylon1 · 16/05/2012 21:25

Scuzy she is on her own to a certain extent, H works away a lot, and when he's home he's no better than a chocolate fireguard Hmm

I will be gentle with her though, she knows I only want to help her Smile

OP posts:
scuzy · 16/05/2012 21:28

well then she is lucky to have a friend like you. dont delay inform her asap. and for everyone else and their "god how stupid is she" comments i didnt know this. guess am stupid.

southeastastra · 16/05/2012 21:34

you don't want to go in all guns blazing yet post on aibu?? there is a baby feeding topic maybe i am just old fashioned and think if you want supportive answers you post on relevant topic

scuzy · 16/05/2012 21:36

oh south quit being so argumentative and anal!

southeastastra · 16/05/2012 21:42

aibu is used for any blinkin topic these days though

scuzy · 16/05/2012 21:44

then hide the thread. why are you posting?

ScarletLadyOfTheNight01 · 16/05/2012 21:48

You've done the right thing asking for advice. It worries me that there is so much bad and conflicting advice out there. It's better that someone isn't sure and asks, than just bumbles on regardless.

It's good people have given good, comprehensive advice rather than just saying "Oh it's your bubba, mum knows best XXXXXHUNXXXXXX"

...or something similar...which you would get elsewhere...

southeastastra · 16/05/2012 21:53

just posting as there are some mnetters who hide aibu and may add something more interesting to the topic, which so far sounds like something a journalist would write

pumpkinsweetie · 16/05/2012 21:54

YANBU- that is such a dangerous thing to do as the baby will not be getting enough fluid and she could make him or her seriously ill.
Im surpised anyone would do such a thing tbh, please advise her against doing this as she could make dc very very ill.
I have always been told with all 4 of my dc to put equal amount of scoops to the water and no more or no less and to discard excess powder with back of knive so each spoon is equal and not packed down- she will find this information on the back of the tin and she should follow it what she is doing is wrong

NicNocJnr · 16/05/2012 22:09

Yy it's pretty much the same thing that happens when you change the concentration of any solution except this time the formula will be pulling the water out of circulating volume and into gut as PP said. Imbalances of electrolytes are also dangerous on their own (ref K & muscle contraction - so heart, guts, skeletal etc, etc). Obviously you can only take without replenishing for so long before you are in really dire straights. It's not bollocks there are instructions for a reason.
I'm sure there will be plenty of articles and information on osmolarity and such all over the interwebs.
So much so a gentle enough one should be able to be found.

Is it a bad idea? Very much so but if she's struggling I would do exactly the same as you and want to be as gentle as possible. I'm sure all the parents who accidentally overdosed their children on salt (example not this situ) would have done something as simple as just leaving it out had they just known.
I hope your friend can get more RL support, it's a shitty place to be and you can't be there all the time however much you may want to.