child benefit

[gooddad]

My ex wife and i share are children, as she work's nights we have them four nights each, we have two by the way.
She gets all the child benefit, am i being unfair to want to split it two ways?
My GF isn't working at the moment and my ex say's she will give me some when GF starts.

The norm in cases such as yours, where the care is equally shared is for each parent to claim CB for one child, each.

CB isn't just about money, it protects your National Insurance contrabution.

Why the hell should he pay maintenance when he has them exactly 50% of the time?! Should she pay him maintenance then too?

Op, I think if she's paying for all school uniform, clothes etc then she should keep it, but if you share all costs you should split it. I can understand why she thinks that if you can afford to 'keep' your gf you can afford to 'keep' your kids.

Just to add that for all paoseters know the OP may have left the children in a fully set up home and has had to rehouse himself and make it fit enough to have the children there, that is why the arrangement has been as it is.

I dont think its an issue that you dont pay any maintenance if the other costs are splt 50/50

You pay for half their 'shelter' as they live with you half the time, half their food, so if you also pay towards their clothing, shoes, school books and other bits and bobs than YAdefNBU.

Ignore the remarks about your spelling, its really not relevant.

I'm really impressed that you are splitting your time equally between having the kids in the first place. Surely the simplest idea would be to have a bank account (in her name if that's easiest) where the child benefit goes so you can both see exactly where it is being spent (and that should be easily identifiable as being on the children, whether it is on school uniform, birthday parties or out of school activities etc). I don't think it's worth jepordising, what seems like, a very sensible set up for a few pound a week that you would end up spending on the same things anyway.

If the NRP isn't earning much, and he is having the dc for 102+ nights a year, then even the CSA say they don't pay maintenance - am in that situation with DS1's dad.

HE wants me to split the Child benefit AND the Child Tax Credits. However - I end up paying for ALL school trips, uniform, clothes, shoes, outside activities blah blah blah. AND I never get half the clothes and uniform back that I have paid for to hand down to my other DS who has a different dad, as they use it for the OW's DS. So he doesn't get a penny from me any more.

He has been told that when he will bear half the costs involved in bringing up a child (like he did when he first left, before he moved in with the OW) then I will be willing to split it again, as I used to.

It'll never happen though, as the OW is not going to allow it, so IMO, unless the OP is ALSO bearing 50% of the COSTS of bringing up the DC, he can chuff off on getting the money needed to PAY for those things.

"The norm in cases such as yours, where the care is equally shared is for each parent to claim CB for one child, each."

So who gets the premium for the eldest child?

I think the sensible thing would be to sit down and look at how much your ex is paying on top of food and shelter- do the uniform/trips/clothing /shoes etc perhaps swallow up the whole of the benefit? If not, it is the surplus that should be shared. But you can hardly expect half the benefit unless you are providing half of all the costs of raising the children.

"So who gets the premium for the eldest child"

Normally the mother, because she has, before the split been claiming the CB.

But in cases where care is shared and both parents are equal in the childrens care, there doesn't have to be a problem with working this out.

It is possible where there is more than one child, to have CB paid to different patents, I know this happens in quite a few shared care situations, and also makes a more equal playing field for maintenance as this is payable to the parent with care, who is judged to be the one receiving the CB.
in the cases I know, the parent with the CB pays for what is needed for that child.

Sorry but this simply is not true. CB can only be paid to one parent.

As for some of the other posts... there really are some bigoted views on a mans parental role aren't there...

am i being unfair to want to split it two ways?

If you have the children 50-50 and split all other costs equally then no....you are not being unfair.

What one of my friends does with her ex is that they each have one of the CB's. She claims for the eldest, he claims for the youngest.

But be warned, this opens up a huge can of worms because CB is a passport benefit and receipt of CB opens up the ability to claim for Tax Credits, housing, child maintenance etc.

You may find any claim on CB fiercely contested by your ex since she may potentially be losing out on a lot of money.

I see. Thanks Birdsgotta :)

Sparks, if there is more than one child, child benefit can be shared between parents where both receive child benefit for at least one child. I know people who have had this awarded by the child benefit agency.

Sparks, if there is more than one child, child benefit can be shared between parents where both receive child benefit for at least one child. I know people who have had this awarded by the child benefit agency

I appreciate that but as pointed out it will never be shared equally because of the eldest child premium.

And as nice guy pointed out, CB can often be fought over because of the other things it entitles the recipient too.

It won't necessarily be equal and it can be fought over but you stated CB can only ever be paid to one parent. THAT is untrue.

OP if you believe you are entitled to a share of the child benefit because you share the costs of bringing the children up bear to equally, if your ex won't discuss it, then contact the Child Benefit department, present all of your evidence as to why it should be shared and let them decide.

Your ex's reasoning that she will consider it once your GF gets a job is daft.

Wow sparks1 I know a few liars then, real people liars too. I don't know or care about the ins and outs of the first child premium as it realty isn't any of my business, I always assumed it went on the first child of the household, since I get this for my DD and DHs ex (I assume) gets it for DSD.

I would also imagine if by some miracle DSD came and lived with us we would lose the premium for DD, given that she is the younger.

*It won't necessarily be equal and it can be fought over but you stated CB can only ever be paid to one parent. THAT is untrue.

OP if you believe you are entitled to a share of the child benefit because you share the costs of bringing the children up bear to equally, if your ex won't discuss it, then contact the Child Benefit department, present all of your evidence as to why it should be shared and let them decide.

Your ex's reasoning that she will consider it once your GF gets a job is daft*

I was obviously not clear, i meant per child. But even so it can potentially create major issues with other government departments. You try dealing with the CSA where there is a complication like split CB!

I certainly agree with your last point, His ex's comment about his GF's job status is utterly irrelevant and none of her business.

BumpingFuglies because he wants the money because he needs to sure up a adult who is not working if his gf had a job he most likey wouldn't need the money CB is not for supporting out of work parnteners

FYI as long as ex is spending child benfit of child why dose it matter who has it

If the parents decided to claim CSA, they would just set up two claims for each parent. It doesn't have to be complicated. They would assess them like any other "Non Resident Parent". The parents then can decide to close the cases down if it just means they are exchanging money every month.

If the parents decided to claim CSA, they would just set up two claims for each parent. It doesn't have to be complicated. They would assess them like any other "Non Resident Parent". The parents then can decide to close the cases down if it just means they are exchanging money every month

You'd like to think so. As anecdotal as it is i'm afraid in my extensive dealings with the agency this simply isn't the case. And i know it's not for a large proportion of NRP's and PWC's.

Anyway, i digress!

how incredibly nasty and petty to comment on spellings and grammar in another's post.

does it make you feel better?

I don't think it's unreasonable to want half the CB if the costs for both children are shared equally. I don't think the mum can pull the 'it might get spent on the GF' if she herself is living with a partner.

Those of you saying he shouldn't get anything as he doesn't pay maintenance - for shame! If this was the mum posting, asking if she shouldn't get some of the CB as they had split care 50:50 would you be saying the same?

If you both share tge costs of everything then yes you should split it. However if it is not going to sub your gf why mention her shifts?

I think CB paid in a separate ?joint account would be a great idea, it can be used to pay the school, if they have parentpay it will be documented, any other expenditure is likely to have receipts or show up. Agree in advance what it covers, school uniform, shoes, presents for friends, school trips etc. If there is any left over it can be carried forward and when the children are old enough an allowance can be paid to each child for them to buy clothes etc.

Thanks for all comments, i take on board all that has been said. Ex gets c/tax and c/ben so me asking if half is unreasonable, i dont think so. I clothe my children, feed them, pay half towards school trips, swimming etc. I mentioned shifts as then it explains y we have them 4 days each, i know theres only 7 days in a week lol. i was in a mess when we split so i never thought about claiming the money and i was left with the children. As for earnings, she earns more than me, her partner also works. As for my gf, she is in the process of getting a job, she looks after my children when im at work.