child benefit

[gooddad]

My ex wife and i share are children, as she work's nights we have them four nights each, we have two by the way.
She gets all the child benefit, am i being unfair to want to split it two ways?
My GF isn't working at the moment and my ex say's she will give me some when GF starts.

Ok if you have kids half and so does she then I think all child benefit and child tax should be split equally as you both fees the kids . However ex will of course then expect you to pay your share of school clothes etc

If you pay 50/50 on everything else then fair enough, get some of the CB but if not then you don't have a cat in hells chance to be honest and don't deserve it.

Gopoldark that's bloody harsh he is being a real dad he shares care equally!!! Why should he pay maintenance?? If he has them for equal time that she does why shouldn't she pay maintenance to him??!! Wind your neck in

Ok, so I guess you don't pay maintenance because you share half the care of the kids.

She pays for the school uniform, but what do you pay for above and beyond day to day living expenses? Who pays for school trips, out of school activities, clothes, shoes etc?

If your ex buys the clothes and school stuff, pays for trips, shoes, haircuts, extra curricular activities etc, then you don't deserve an penny of the child benefit. You might pay for food and shelter, but you are a parent! That's what you are supposed to do!

go so a father who looks after his children half the time doesn't class as a "real" dad?

I thought it was normal to not pay maintenance when you had a 50:50 split

Its £1716 a year i think

It depends entirely on how the other costs are split. That is a lot of money if its just school uniform and trips but not if its swimming/music lessons, school dinners, bus passes, other dcs bday presents etc.

I've reported your post GoPoldark.

As far as I'm aware (and I have knowledge due to working in a similar area), like tax credits, child benefit can only be paid to ONE of the parents. Usually it's the mother because we get the form in the Bounty pack it protects entitlement to state pension for those months/years a mother may not be working due to looking after children. At least, it DID, my knowledge may not be current and no comments about how fathers also can stay at home to raise children please, that's not the point.

Anyway, I'm waffling. My point is, I don't think the child benefit can be shared, it HAS to go to one parent, so it's up to both parents to share money out fairly. As other posters have said, just because you have 50/50 custody doesn't mean that you both incur 50/50 costs. Who earns more? Who pays school trip contributions, for school uniform, etc?

You pay for food (and shelter ) and she pays for everything else? clothes, shoes, activites, transport, toys, books, bedding....... and you want more money to pay for what?

If you can't afford to feed them then I could maybe see your point. Ask her to send a food parcel?

Chundle, it sounds very much like he houses them at his for half the time - ok, fair enough, feeds and shelters them for those nights - but the COST of them (clothes, school stuff etc.) is met by the mum. And that is the big cost. So the only 'extra' cost he has is food for four days a week, essentially.

I am sure, given OP's keeness to provide detail on how much he is providing, that if he were contributing to shoes/games/trips/everything else, we would know it.

But you're right. Sorry for being so aggressive OP. But I do think that unless you can come back and say, yes, last £40 quid pair of school shoes, I paid half...Last school trip, £25, I paid half... then wanting to take half of what isn't even a drop in the ocean as regards the TRUE cost of raising the children is totally rank.

Like you, my DD has a 50:50 shared care arrangement. I get CB, my ex pays child maintenance through CSA, and I pay for all the things that DD needs at both houses - clothes, shoes, coats, school uniform, trips, clubs. I pay out more than I would if she was EOW (but get less from the CSA), because I don't want her carting a suitcase of clothes back and forth, and she has two pairs of wellies etc.
ExH pays for consumables (food, toiletries etc) and any extras that he wants to buy for DD at his house.

It is possible for the person considered to be the NRP to receive Child Tax Credits, and in the past, we have agreed that ex claimed that because I wasn't eligible - but now I get it because my circumstances have changed.

Oh whatever. As long as its being spent on the kids it doesn't matter who gets it surely? Petty shite.

BubbleBobble - fair enough. I shouldn't have snapped. Apologies all.

I hate posts like these when people instantly think a Father should pay maintenance . He has the children equal time , and has given no facts about who earns what ! Talk about being pre programmed to think its always the mother missing out. No wonder Fathers get bad press and a raw deal .

'Food and shelter' is such a Judge Judy thing to say!

Thank you for being big enough to apologise. Yay, I love it when that happens!

My stepsons mother claims the child benefit . This is because there is a difference between her single wage and mine and DH family wage . I imagine if it was equal then DH would like to share it, or have it used on a given agreed item for the kids like uniform, shoes or coats .

If ALL costs are divided equally then yes, he should.

I will look through these replies when i get home and try to explain myself further but thank you so far

why does he have to pay maintenance if he has his children for half the time, in the exact same way his ex wife does why is it one rule for one and another rule for another, and how does him not paying money, not make him a REAL dad, you might well have apologised, but you're coming across as illogical and narrow minded in that opinion.

He hasn't said he does not pay for things for his children either, I have no idea why the GF is even a factor in the maintenance of the children.

I think some posters are being unnecessarily harsh. If custody and expenses are split 50:50 then why should any child support be paid?

If your ex wife is paying for all the school things though it sounds like that's only fair she receives cb.

It is possible where there is more than one child, to have CB paid to different patents, I know this happens in quite a few shared care situations, and also makes a more equal playing field for maintenance as this is payable to the parent with care, who is judged to be the one receiving the CB.
in the cases I know, the parent with the CB pays for what is needed for that child.

In this age of equality, the equality really should cut both ways.

So typical that some posters are having a total go at the OP for having the audacity not to pay maintenance when care is shared 50:50. FGS. And pulling him up for his spelling? Really?