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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really upset by this and tell friend i was offended?

37 replies

mosschops30 · 15/05/2012 20:32

Yesterday i met a close friend in supermarket, havent seen her in months and she was with her ex who took money from her, broke her heart, and didnt tell her he was off to india for an arranged marriage, there was no love lost between us.
Anyway i stood talking to friend, she said 'arent you two going to say hello' so i said hello and he said
'hello mosschops nice to see youre holding yourself together' then sniggered
I didntvreally get what he was saying until frend laughed nervously and said 'oh hes referring to your emcs, hesctrying to have a sense of humour'
(for those of you who dont know i had a botched CS 3 years ago and my abdomen burst open and i had to catch what fell out, it left me very ill, and with PTSD).
So i said 'oh really i thought he was just being a prick' and wandered off.
She caught me further round and said she had told him off!

I couldnt get it out of my mind last night or today, so i text her and sad i was very offended, and would he have made a joke about a car crash or death of a family member or other traumatic event. I said please dont ever put me in a position where i have to see him again.

Just wanted to vent really and wondered what you all thought?

OP posts:
Original poster
mosschops30 · 15/05/2012 20:33

Oh and hes a doctor Shock not a thick idiot!

OP posts:
Hebiegebies · 15/05/2012 20:34

Sounds like she may have to chose between you. Why she would want to stay friends with him is beyond reason

squeakytoy · 15/05/2012 20:34

YABabitU really. He sounds an insensitive twat, but it was hardly your friends fault.

MajorBumsore · 15/05/2012 20:35

What a cunt is what I think.
I personally would avoid friend too

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 15/05/2012 20:35

Man's an ill mannered unfunny git. Ignore him, pity her, if you do ever encounter him again, sweetly enquire if he's learned any manners/social skills yet or is he still a twat? That should do it.

catgirl1976 · 15/05/2012 20:35

Hmm that was very inappropriate of him. Is he just a total prick or maybe someone who uses "humour" to get through an uncomfortable situation?

SuperScrimper · 15/05/2012 20:36

He sounds like a total and utter prick!

And she sounds like a total dormat/twat for putting up with that amount of crap and still wandering round the supermarket with him Shock

EclecticShock · 15/05/2012 20:36

He's a dick, don't waste your time worrying about it.

StealthPolarBear · 15/05/2012 20:36

He's a tosser

Coconutty · 15/05/2012 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

witchwithallthetrimmings · 15/05/2012 20:38

Clearly a prize nob, and I suspect is trying, even subconsiousli to drive a wedge between you and your friend Wine

Clytaemnestra · 15/05/2012 20:38

I think she is complict in that, "Oh he's trying to be funny about that time you nearly died in a horrific way, teehee" is not particularly friendly either. Any reaction other than turning to him and saying "oh my god shut the fuck up twatface" is indulging his viciousness and I would be weighing up whether she was the sort of person I would want to stay friends with.

thisisyesterday · 15/05/2012 20:38

yanbu, and it's fine to tell her you're offended

Gumby · 15/05/2012 20:39

'please dont ever put me in a position where i have to see him again'

It wasn't her fault you were at the supermarket at the same time though

It's not her fault he's a twat either

MaisyMooCow · 15/05/2012 20:41

What superscrimper said. Couldn't put it better myself.

nizlopi · 15/05/2012 20:42

Its not exactly her fault that you were both in the supermarket at the same time.

He was HUGELY out of order to say that to you, but she isn't responsible for his attitude, and you can't put her in the position of choosing between you.

SuperScrimper · 15/05/2012 20:45

Thanks Maisy Wink

Original poster
mosschops30 · 15/05/2012 20:47

Oh no im not saying 'choose me or him'.

Shes a friend that i dont see that often but one of those friends you coud phone in a crisis and would be there regardlesss.
Its not like we even see each other weekly.
If she wants to see him thats fine, i think hes a twat, even before he said that, but shes a grown woman who is quite able to make her own decisions.

I just dont ever want to be in a situation where she asks me round when he is there, or asks me to speak to him if i see them out, of course i would say hi to friend but i dont need to soeak to him

OP posts:
fluffylegs · 15/05/2012 20:50

What a shitbag.
More fool her

zookeeper · 15/05/2012 20:56

bit of a daft comment but that 's all surely?

AngiBolen · 15/05/2012 21:00

Well, he sounds like a prize idiot.

YANBU

bejeezus · 15/05/2012 21:03

urgh...you should have head-butted him

tasmaniandevilchaser · 15/05/2012 21:04

YANBU - zookeeper did you miss that bit about PTSD from that awful CS experience? And he's a doctor????!!!!

Has your friend replied to your text, mosschops?

LulaPalooza · 15/05/2012 21:05

What an ubercunt. YADNBU for being upset and offended. I think it was absolutely right to text your friend and say how you felt. Ok, you can't help bumping into each other at the supermarket but she will now understand why you will say hello and walk right on by if you bump into them again. She realises it was cunty thing for him to say and if she's a good friend she'll understand why you don't want to spend any time with him.

May I also congratulate you on your quick thinking retort. V good. Like your style Grin

SimplySoo · 15/05/2012 21:08

I can't believe some people are saying you're being unreasonable! it was so out of order what he said and her response. Just disgusting in fact, not socially acceptable. sadly you're probably best off losing contact with this so called friend.