To think my Grandma should leave me and DB something in her will?

[Cockapoo]

Ok I realise I am probably being unreasonable here!

Basically my Grandma has recently changed her will to split half of everything between my mum and her brother. She had previously written my mum out of it because she didn't like her boyfriend, but when they split up after 14 years she was 'reinstated'.

My Mum went with her to change it and asked my Grandma to leave her half to my brother and I as my Mum is very well off. My Brother's family and my own are really struggling financially since the recession and still haven't managed to get on the housing ladder.

YABVVVU, your grans death shouldnt mean you can then start to live it up on her money. If my kids/grandkids acted like this over my millionspennies really then I would cut them out. If I wanted to help them out then I would do whilst I was still alive. Maybe your gran doesn't want to help you out of your financial hole, now or after she dies.
Oh and the 'housing ladder' is not a neccesity in life and doesn't mean when you are 'on it' you will be out of your financial struggle

Why don't you address her next birthday card 'Dear Rung' because it's evident that's what you ultimately see her as....

I didnt get on the housing ladder till i was 35 and i had my rented place since i was 22 , I dont think your grandmas money is their to give you a boost up the ladder ,

there* obviously

When my mother died, everything went to my dad. Me, my DB and DSis got nowt. My dad then spent thousands on his second family, now divorced, and his third family, while my mother's children suffered. Death and money are very emotive. I think when my Grandma sadly passes away, she shouldn't give him another penny to waste on his stupid whims but I know she will.

I understand and it doesn't matter whether you are BU or NBU. What is important is that you try to come to terms with the negative feelings you have about this and focus instead on building happy, positive relationships with your Nan while she's still here and your Mum.

well said Lovelynewboots. The "ugly" side of my family asked within the hour of my nan passing "what was in her Will?" I was horrified....and glad that they didn't benefit from her cos it was obvious from yrs ago they were out to get what the could. The only came to see her when she was ill.

Every time my dad goes on holiday we all joke about him spending 'our inheritance' but to be honest I'd rather he spent it enjoying himself now.
On the other hand, I didn't get anything when my ban died, because she didn't have anything, but I would give every penny I have just to have her with us for a bit longer.

YABU. And grasping. And selfish.

I have no grandparents any more. My Gran left me £500, the ability to knit and an interest in grow your own veg. My Nanna left me nowt of monetary value but taught me to bake, the secret to a brilliant roast beef dinner and the recipe for perfect Yorkshire puds every time. And a liking for brandy and babycham

To be fair to OP, if it goes straight to her and her DB, both her and DMother will pay less inheritance tax as they'll only be paying it once rather than twice. It is the smarter way to do it I would think.

The smarter way to do it...

COCKadoodledoo, what a lovely description of your grandparents. And whats not too love about Brandy and Babycham

I agree with stinky actually - there's no point in paying two lots of inheritance tax if you can help it.

OP - There is actually legal power to vary a will after someone's death provided all named beneficiaries (ie your mum and uncle) agree. So if they wanted it to go direct to their children and miss a generation you'd be able to so even if you grandma hadn't actually done this in her will. From an inheritance tax point of view you will only be taxed on the will as varied so only one lot of tax.

It may be worth having a chat to a solicitor when you grandmother dies in due course.

Our granny has always made it clear that her "estate", such as it is, will be split equally between her 3 children. All of her grandchildren (11 - from late 30s down to early 20s) will each get a painting that she has painted. (As the eldest, and also the spouse of the wonderful grandson in law who cuts her grass, I get first pick - but DH and gran have already agreed which one HE'd like and told my mum to make sure HE gets it - nothing to do with me then as either eldest grandchild or as godchild ). I presume the 6 great grankids will also get some memento (all still actual kids). If the grandkids own parents decide, there will be something immediately from the estate, but not directly in the will and its up to each individual childof my gran to decide (I would not anticipate anything myself, perhaps some of my siblings might get a hand, and I suspect that most of the grandkids won't get anything other than their painting specifically).

In my other granny's case, both herself and her (now deceased) husband have identical wills - leaving everything to each other, and if not possible, to their 2nd eldest (eldest girl and still living at home although now retired). Said "child" will then allocate according to their known wishes amongst the family - there are 6 surviving "children" (ranging from mid-60s to late 40s), and although I am again the eldest grandchild (of 9) and there are 3 great-gks too, and I am also a Godchild of the grandad, I would not expect to get anything unless my own parent sees fit. Although I would like some of my grandad's writing at some stage as a momento.

I don't even expect to get anything specifically from my own parents estate - long way into the future I hope - I always think that it should be up to the person who currently owns the assets in an estate to decide how they want to split them up on their death, and that may not always be equally based on personal relationships, or based on the individual needs within families or amongst friends or interests of the deceased also.

so you're hoping for granny to die soon then OP to sort your money troubles out?

I think you're getting a harsh pasting here OP. Yes you're maybe coming across a bit cold-hearted and mercenary, but nothing you have said is wishing your DGM to hurry up and die.

As WasabiTillyMinto and a few others have said
OP your Gma can do as she likes but then your DM can use a Deed of Variation to pass money on to you.

The money would pass from your GM's estate to you and your brother and not impact on your mum.

My Mum's care home fees are over 250 quid a week. Savings don't last long at that rate.

YABU

People should be able to choose who they leave their money/assets to...your Grandma must have thought long and hard what to do and has made her decision

JosieZ has raised a very valid point. Many people are forced to sell there homes to pay for long term care, often leaving very little for relatives. You don't know what the future holds and the OP's grandmother may well end up in that position whether she changes the will or not. Just enjoy your grandmother while she is still around. The inheritance tax threshold is £325,000, so I can't imagine its an issue for the vast majority of people who inherit anything.

If I was your gran I'd get spending quick!!

I was left my grans wedding ring, but I'd rather have her back than any money in the world, I actually pity you OP, how sad :(

As everyone else says: YABU

My granny keeps changing her will depending on who she is in a mood with/wants to have power over. I refuse to get involved. If, when the time comes, I am left something it will be very much appreciated. But if I'm not (and the neighbour/church/cats' home are the recipients), then so be it. It's hers to do what she wants with.