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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my Grandma should leave me and DB something in her will?

95 replies

Cockapoo · 14/05/2012 21:05

Ok I realise I am probably being unreasonable here!

Basically my Grandma has recently changed her will to split half of everything between my mum and her brother. She had previously written my mum out of it because she didn't like her boyfriend, but when they split up after 14 years she was 'reinstated'.

My Mum went with her to change it and asked my Grandma to leave her half to my brother and I as my Mum is very well off. My Brother's family and my own are really struggling financially since the recession and still haven't managed to get on the housing ladder.

OP posts:
numbum · 14/05/2012 22:06

Urgh. Surely your mum could just share her money out once your grandma dies. How horrible are you thinking about your grandma dying just to ease your financial woes?

SugarPasteHedgehog · 14/05/2012 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rustygusset · 14/05/2012 22:06

Why should she? It's her money, she can do with it as she wishes.

numbum · 14/05/2012 22:06

In fact, if your mum is 'very well off' why doesn't she help you and your brother?

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 14/05/2012 22:09

A will is a persons wishes. It is enirely up to them who they leave stuff to and as long as there has been no co-ercion and the person is of sound mind when making the will, then the contents should be accepted. . Even if the whole lot is left to the dogs home.

McKayz · 14/05/2012 22:09

YABVVVU and downright disgusting.

I hope you don't get left anything.

Cravey · 14/05/2012 22:09

So granny ain't dead yet but you are whining about the will. Nice very loving I am sure granny is so very proud of you.

SugarPasteHedgehog · 14/05/2012 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 14/05/2012 22:12

FFS. I've heard it all now.
Karma will get you.

Kleptronic · 14/05/2012 22:16

I think this is a wind up. I'm not going to look through anyone's posting history, because I can't be arsed, but the OP's name and the fairly out there premise makes me go 'hmm'.

If I'm wrong and you're real OP, YABU.

StuckintheBellJar · 14/05/2012 22:20

Why the hell aren't you all encouraging your gran to spend it on enjoying her final years? Mounds of werthers originals, saga cruise holidays, whatever she likes...

I hate the idea of inheritance being regarded as something people expect!

PatFenis · 14/05/2012 22:21

Good grief! If you are struggling financially and your mum is so well off, why not ask her to help you out rather than waiting for your grandmother to breathe her last breath and bequeath you something in her will? You are entitled to nothing all from your grandmother but yet sound very entitled indeed!

YABVVU!

WasabiTillyMinto · 14/05/2012 22:22

OP your Gma can do as she likes but then your DM can use a Deed of Variation to pass money on to you

HappyJustToBe · 14/05/2012 22:23

YABU and your DM is BU. As others have said it is not some right that you have. It is up to your poor Grandma.

Voidka · 14/05/2012 22:23

People that get grabby over inheritance make me feel ill.

Planning the end of your financial worries because your Grandma might die is equally as nasty.

thekidsrule · 14/05/2012 22:31

christ i didnt realise getting on the property ladder was such a driving force in wishing your gran more or less dead

save up like everybody else has to

hope your gran has many more years ahead of her,and may she spend every penny on having a ball

SugarPasteHedgehog · 14/05/2012 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

highlandcoo · 14/05/2012 22:34

If this is true it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

When my mum died a few years ago she left her money split equally between me and my siblings. I don't think it occurred for one second to my three kids that they were entitled to a penny. When we sold mum's house we invited each grandchild to choose one thing to keep which had happy associations for them. They were really pleased.

Over the last few years I have chosen to give each child a (not huge) amount of money at an appropriate time, like graduation, in memory of their grandparents who would have done something similar if they'd still been around. Again, they were delighted.

I don't think my kids are unusual - I think you are OP :(

exoticfruits · 14/05/2012 22:35

I think everyone has said it already. Your grandmother can leave it all to a cat's home if she wishes. My mother is leaving her money in an equal split between my bothers and me- she is not leaving it to the generation below.

LiegeAndLief · 14/05/2012 22:39

My grandma died in December. I have a few things of sentimental value from her house and her wedding / engagement rings for my dd (not me!). I didn't expect any money at all, and didn't get any. My parents ended up offering us things like the tv (which was newer than ours) and other bits and pieces for the house, which we were very grateful for.

I think it's the norm for grandparents' money to go to their children rather than their grandchildren, isn't it?

CinnyCall · 14/05/2012 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

olgaga · 14/05/2012 22:43

OP, you are getting a pasting here and it's well deserved. Even though I understand you feel you are struggling financially, I can assure you that inability to own a property is not exactly uncommon, and it's certainly not an indication of need.

You don't say how old you all are but if your mother is so well off she doesn't need the money, why doesn't she help you and your brother out anyway?

Could it be that your she realises what you apparently don't - that by the time she dies she'll probably have spent everything she has on care - both for her mother and for herself. Perhaps she's afraid she'll upset you if she spells it out to you.

You and your brother - and a lot of other people - are going to have to get to grips with the fact that unless your elderly relatives are very rich, ie rich enough to avoid inheritance tax by making gifts well before they die, there probably isn't going to be anything to inherit.

So forget about it!

fluffypillow · 14/05/2012 22:44

I think this is a bit sick Sad

WhoremoaneeGrainger · 14/05/2012 22:45

Why "should" she leave you anything. So what if your mother doesnt want/need it. I hope she has left everything to your uncle instead! You have no automatic right to anything.

There are loads of people struggling since the recession. And many people arent on the property ladder.

I cant believe you would show yourself to be such a money grabbing excuse for a human being. Your Gran isnt even dead yet!

gordyslovesheep · 14/05/2012 22:47

I just don't get why a relative is worth little more than their net value after death

My aunty is terminal with breast cancer and my mums best mate is also battling the same - I was talking to my mum about it and I said for gods sake spend every penny you have on having fun - lord knows how long any of us have and I don;t want it - I just want you alive and happy

she is off to drive route 66 in Sept in a camper van - with her mate and Bob Dylan on CD

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