to think a fake reach is just common courtesy?

[GeorgeCostanza]

Namechange appropriate to the subject.

As one of the single male posters on this marvellous forum, I would appreciate the female perspective...

I met a girl on a dating site and after exchanging a few ridiculously shallow e-mails she asked me if i wanted to meet up. She lives about 40 minutes away and had no car, so I drove to her town. We met up, had a coffee, then went to a pub (I wasn't drinking as driving, she was, but I bought the drinks anyway) and we then went to a certain ubiquitous faux upmarket pizza restaurant for a meal. The lack of spark on either side was obvious, but nourishment was necessary considering the arduous drive back, so why not?

After stuffing our faces and having some further scintillating small talk, the time came for the bill. The immaculately dressed waiter plonked it on the table, and I got out my wallet. I put the card down, and she just looked, grinned and said 'Thanks'.

Now, being the man I am I would probably have batted away her advances to go dutch anyway. And it was hardly 'Dinner at Hestons' and wasn't going to leave me destitute, but considering we both knew this wasn't going to end up with his n her's gravestones, was it unreasonable to expect at least a fake reach for her purse?

After all, isn't it part of the game to knock back her offer with a gallant 'Don't be silly?'

Thoughts much appreciated!

I have never heard that term before and thought it was a misspelling of fakeretch and wondered if this was going to be about the spit-swallow dilemma.

Anyway, as you were...

I paid on mine and dh 1st date :)

If you went for drinks, I would at least expect her to have bought a drink. did you end up paying for everything?

I think next time, it would be Ok to buy the first couple of drinks, then say something like 'your round, or would you prefer to go dutch?'. Just say it without any particular emotion, much as you'd say 'those are nice shoes, where did you get them'.

It sounds a little like she's looking for a free meal ticket if she suggested meeting up quite quickly - or maybe she is just so used to men paying that she doesn't even bother any more.

Yadnbu, it's common courtesy and you did drive to her town. Hope you meet somebody really nice.