to say "thanks but fuck off"?

[whoknowsnotme]

Aaaghhh!!!

Im just so so so fed up of people questioning my parenting!
"baby should be on solid food by now" erm no, shes only 5 months
"baby should be sleeping through the night by now" how the fucks that your business?
"still breast feeding?!" no shit sherlock
"my baby was doing...by this stage"
"my baby was way further at ..."
" I've had three babies, i think i know what i am talking about"

.... i am just so so sick of being polite about it! I get this all the time, from friends with kids, friends without kids, and then to add insult to injury i get friends getting all shirty and offended if i don't take their advice, as if ive just insulted them or something!

It seems that everyone has a way for me to do things better ie the way they did it. Since when is ok for people to comment on the way other people choose to bring up their own children???

My dd is a very happy, chunky, healthy, loved little girl. Any idiot can see this so why oh why are people advising that i change the way i do things??

I do not want more "adult time"
I do not want to go back to work to feel fulfilled
I do not need you to tell me im spoiling my child with hugs/too much contact
I do not want to leave my child crying to show her "who is boss"
I do not want to listen to your unsolicited advice

need a and a

YABU

YADefNBU

Tell 'em to fuck right off.

You need to perfect your smile and nod manouevre, I'm afraid.

You sound like you're having a great time with DD.

Try not to let them spoil it.

As Chaos says; you nod, you smile, you move on. Do what you want

YABU not to share your biscuits tho

well OP, I've had three babies, I think I know what I'm talking about when I say......................I think you sound like you are doing a fantastic job .

Take no notice.

lol
forget the nod and smile you need a deathstare!
oh and btw did you know all the best babies can read now by 5m? mine both could, nothing too intellectual, just where's spot? and the daily mail. Oh, can your DD not? You should talk to her every day, it's so important to talk to your child you know, develops their communication skills.

for all

not you sundaigirl , you can have a piece of fruit!!!

just having a vent...again

next time, someone starts to tell you something...take a packet of Marlboro Red out of your pocket and spark one up whilst you are listening to their advice

Delighted with the fruit, although I find that if you cut it into strips rather than purée it it's easier to eat. This also helps with fine motor skils.

Sorry, whoknowsnotme, but your OP did make me giggle

Such a shame we don't have think bubbles giving away our true thoughts while we mouth our polite responses!

YANBU

Ooh yes but invest in one of those mesh feeder things, you won't regret it. And apple flavour baby rice is the best and is fine for a 5 month old, look, it says on the pack "from 4 months". They wouldn't say that if it wasn't medical fact and backed up by loads of evidence.

what really pisses me off, is that i have sat quietly, smiled through gritted teeth, given the death stare but people still insist on trying to help me "get my life back"!!!

Having a baby is easy peesey well not really ! Its the bloody competitive parents which are the hard work!

and yes im having a great time with dd most of the time shes the funniest thing!

bejeezus that's what I do... the malboro red.

"Well that's certainly given me food for thought"
"Really? How interesting."
"How very interesting. Thank you for sharing"
"It really does take a village, doesn't it?"
"I will definitely bear that in mind"

Accompanied by your best fake smile. Fakery to the max required for best and most insulting passive aggressivery.

Or, even better, just look at them with a fixed smile on your face, maybe a slightly quizzical eyebrow. Don't say anything - eventually they'll stop talking and move away from the scary lady

. . . . . . . . . . . .

oops sorry forgot to turn the kettle on..

my advice, tune out. otherwise you will get the urge to whack them around the head with a frying pan or dissolve into a heap of tears depending on how much sleep you have had/state of your hormones.

oh they were sooo annoying. phased one friend out over the constant yoou ought to about potty training...

sundaigirl

stealthpolar iv had that exact conversation this week!!!!

im quite glad we dont have thought bubbles... i really dont think id have many any friends left

How about going down the sleep deprived acerbic route? It doesn't make you friends but people do tend to back off quickly and never speak to you again.

Sleeping through the night at this age? Not when we've got UCAS forms to fill in - we're hoping she's going to be the only pre-schooler studying PPE at Oxford if we can get the right childcare in place.

She should be on solid foods? Well she was for a while and then we noticed she started putting on weight so it's back to the slimming shakes for this one.

Your baby was walking at this stage? We're not too fussed at the moment about this - her legs are almost long enough to reach the clutch and the brakes if I put the seat forward enough in the car so once we swap to an automatic walking just isn't going to be a priority for us.

You've only had three babies? Well this isn't our first but we liked the look of this one and thought she's a keeper and to be honest, the price for babies on the black market has been shot ever since the Lehmans' fallout. Bankers are just not buying up babies like they used to.

Oh dear! Well cow and gate et al ony have the health of your child in mind.
If you can perfect saying "well, takes a village..." With a straight face that would be amazing! An inspired suggestion.

:o

wheezo..

im way too slow at this, i type a reply then 5 more responses come up in between my reply and what i was replying too!

i cant do the eyebrow lift thing... maybe if i could i would be able to be all passive aggressive and what not! i shall have to practice!

Or competitive? My dd can do amazing les Dawson impressions, they were better before she grew teeth but still good.

Ooh, it's the non-parents dishing out unsolicited advice who get me most. I've got one particular child-free acquaintance who reckons she's got the answer to every single problem I so much as mention. You haven't even DONE this. You don't WANT to do this. You have no bloody idea what's involved, what my life looks like or how my daughter responds to me. So don't frigging talk to me like I'm an idiot who's never thought to crack a book or tap something into Google.

Oh, and the other one who sincerely questioned how there could be bedtime battles when she's still in a cot - she can't escape, right, so what's to battle about? Yes, because I feel great about leaving her to scream until she actually vomits, which was the situation at the time.

Aaaaand breathe.

you are too slow at typing because you ae letting baby run your life... should show her who is boss you know....