To leave Dd alone in hotel room?

[Shelby2010]

More of a WWYD really. We are going to be staying with Dd (18mths) in a hotel next month on holiday & then overnight for a wedding in July. How safe do MNetters feel it is to leave their sleeping DC in the room with either the listening service or a normal baby monitor while eating in the hotel restaurant or attending an evening reception?

Am I being very PFB to worry about how many members of staff could access the room (especially with programable card keys)? The fact that hotels do offer a listening service suggests that many parents are ok with this. I'm torn between thinking I'm paranoid and thinking that they always tell you not to leave valuables in you room except in the safe..... Help!

Not in a million years. I'm not worried about abduction, but safety and the LOs waking up and finding themselves alone in a strange room, they would be petrified.
And using a baby monitor at a wedding reception?! Usually these places are so loud you have to shout to have a conversation with the person next to you, how on earth can you listen to a baby? Unless they were absolutely hysterical?
For an 18 month old I would just let them be up for longer, they would love to have a dance too, and then just take them out for a walk in the pram to get them to sleep when they are too tired to stay up.

Sorry but look what happened to poor Madeleine McCann would you seriously put your child at risk?

There are baby alarms so advanced that you can see the rate of your child's breathing even. When we left ours we only had the old fashioned type that detected sound. The kids did wake up from time to time, we heard them moan just as they were waking up and we were there within minutes. They had't even noticed we had gone.

It was either that or sit in a dark hotel room from 7pm, or perch on the edge of the bath with a glass of wine, talking in hushed whispers.

Mind you, once we discovered they could sleep in the buggy then we'd just cover the buggy with a coat and leave them to sleep. However I can't imagine a wedding reception being conducive to sleep. Can't you leave the baby with someone whilst you both go? Taking the baby sounds like it will be stressful.

WILL YOU STOP GOING ON AND ON AND ON ABOUT MADELEINE McCANN?

How many children are kidnapped from their rooms each year? How many?
That was a one-off, unique case and there hasn't been one like it since.

Plus the OP is planning to use a baby alarm which the McCann's didn't have.

mosling people on this thread have implied strongly that in the event of a fire babies and children will simply be left in their rooms.

Actually, I think this could well be true. It would be safer for the children to be left behind closed fireproof doors until the fire brigade arrived to rescue them. They would know then exactly where the children are rather than having to hunt through the hotel for terrified families.

Our fire safety training, as childminders, has been to leave sleeping children with the door shut and the window safely ajar. In the event of a fire, we collect those children who are awake, get out fast and leave rescue to the professionals. Never had to do it, thank heaven, and I'm not sure how I would react in an emergency, but that's what the fire brigade has told us to do.

nope..I wouldn't leave a child alone in a hotel room. While a listening service is fine in one way...it is not as good as having a responsible person in the room. If, in the very worst case scenario a fire broke out in that part of the hotel - there is no way you would even be allowed back into that part of the hotel to get your child. Could you then forgive yourself?

If I was a guest at the wedding and knew people were doing this I would be judging them.

There are so many other options it's totally unreasonable and awful.

Get a babysitter
Leave DCs at home with a loved one
Bring them in their buggy
Don't go
Etc etc

I would have catsbum mouth and would be think about it constantly and not afraid to admit it

We did this every time we went to hotels (in this country) with our DC - used the listening service, baby alarm and went back and checked frequently. They never, ever woke up.

It would never have occurred to me that someone might come in and snatch them, but this was pre-MMcC.

Have you thought of asking if the hotel have a babysitter / asking the old ladies at the wedding?!

There's always someone judging kayano, as a parent you kinda get used to it.

"It was either that or sit in a dark hotel room from 7pm, or perch on the edge of the bath with a glass of wine, talking in hushed whispers. "

Hahaha yes

We have done this
Had to crouch on the floor to hide behind the bed
We had a small night light on and tried to read the newspaper by it in silence
Then slid into bed at 8pm

I know. I am judging myself having just caught my reflection in the mirror.

Leaving an 18mo alone in a hotel room is seriously worth judging though. I admit I judged op for the thought alone

I'm awful

Op what have you decided?
I hope you do get a proper babysitter as leaving your child alone in a hotel is not safe, if there was a fire you wouldn't be able to get to her, not to mention that she may have an accident-at 18m of age a baby can get out of the travel cot if they wanted to, mine got out of her cot at that age!
I know it isnt a high risk but you also have to take into account her being kidnapped or her choking.
Surely paying for a babysitter or taking her with you in a buggy would be more responsible? Children sleep quite nicely in a buggy and you will be with her at all times if she gets thirsty or hungry.
Im of the belief that when we have dcs we give most of our lives to them please put her first before a night out.

Why not just leave the child with a relative overnight, and go out without having to worry!

I don't know how a babysitter would work-she/he couldn't just sit in a bedroom with the lights out all evening. I would either take the baby to the reception, leave it with grandparents or simply take it in turns to sit in the room with the baby and be at the reception. Easier for you to do it than to ask a babysitter to-I know I wouldn't babysit a baby in one, dark room! What could she do-read in the loo?!

I wouldn't.

Not everyone has relatives they can leave children with.

Bliimin lucky for those that do!

*Just to answer some of the other questions raised:

1. DD is a good sleeper, would be in a travel cot that she can't get out of.
2. DH is even more paranoid than I am and is unlikely to agree to leaving her anyway.
3. The wedding hotel is a small one which has been booked out in total for the wedding.
4. Hadn't really thought about it until booking the holiday hotel which made a big deal about being child-friendly while still giving you 'adult' time by using their listening service with dedicated member of staff on duty.

Thanks again for helping to clarify things for me, I will follow my gut instinct and either keep her with me or leave early.*

here the op updated on p5, clarifying that at the wedding the hotel is small, and has been booked out in total for the wedding, so depending on the layout of the hotel and where the room was in relation to where i would be etc i may do it with a baby moniter/listening service, probably a moniter and as for not being able to hear it, mine is only a basic moniter but it has lights that activate when there is any noise.

actually at my cousins wedding last yr i did this dd was 6mths and ds4 was 3, i settled them to bed, made sure they were asleep and then went down to the reception with baby moniter, my mum, my dad and myself took it int turns to go up and check and i had the moniter with me, was literally a minute or two away up a flight of stairs.

the op also says that there is a 'dedicated member of staff on duty' so i would assume that is someone whose sole job is 'listening service' still not sure i would use it or if i did i would want the back up my moniter and again it would depend on the layout of the hotel, how far away i would be from the room that the children were sleeping in.

i think its a need to see the situation to judge tbh, there are def some hotels i wouldnt do it, but others i would with a moniter and if the room was close enough for me to get too quickly.

i also think there is a huge amount of hysteria on this thread, and what solidgoldbrass said many pages back.

oh and the op said on p5, the bit i copied that she wouldnt be doing it!! read the thread :)

This has made me ponder on wether I would leave my 10 year old, in spain for a short while.

Kaloobear for the wedding where we did this, the babysitter was reading using the bedside light, sitting in the chair next to the lamp. It was fine. That's what she was paid for. And DH and I were able to completely relax knowing that if DS woke up, she would either settle him down or ask someone in the reception to fetch one of us. She did a good job and we thoroughly enjoyed our evening. It cost 8.50 an hour and was, as I've said earlier, money well spent.

5madthings - very sensible. I didn't read the whole thread tbh, all the people saying "but remember the McCanns!" pissed me off too much.

If it's a small hotel with a dedicated listening service and if she had no other option (i.e. no babysitters) then she should just relax, do it and enjoy herself. I say this as someone who has no babysitters at all, we recently celebrated our wedding anniversary and had to take both kids with us for a meal because there isn't anyone to look after them. Opportunities to mix with other adults and just be yourselves for a night don't come along very often, so I would grab the opportunity to use the listening service provided.

When we had a babysitter we had a family room with a separate little bunk room the DDs slept in and so she sat in our room and watched TV.

Other thought is whether there are any other people going to the wedding who have children OP, and if you could all get rooms on the same corridor you could take it in turns to have someone sit outside the rooms in 15/20 minute slots to listen out (with monitors or whatever). So if there were 3 couples with kids you could get 3 rooms next to each other and then each of you would only have to do 20 mins every 2 hours....anyway I know you decided what you want to do but just another thought.

Take the buggy with you for the wedding for when she starts to flag, she'll either dance the night away or go to sleep in it. The rest of the time let her have a longer nap in the day and keep her up for eating in the restaurant in the evening (or use room service).

We have used the baby monitor once when we were away (in a pub/inn). We sat in the bar and could see our room door less than 5m away, had the monitor on and checked on them. I still felt guilty even though we were closer than we would have been if we were at home!

I wouldn't do it again. The next night I sat in with a take away, bottle of wine and the telly (bliss) .

The McCann example is totally different! I can't believe how many people are equating what happened in that situation with still being in the same building and using a monitor! That's ridiculous!

Hear hear CremeEggThief.