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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To leave Dd alone in hotel room?

999 replies

Shelby2010 · 13/05/2012 22:40

More of a WWYD really. We are going to be staying with Dd (18mths) in a hotel next month on holiday & then overnight for a wedding in July. How safe do MNetters feel it is to leave their sleeping DC in the room with either the listening service or a normal baby monitor while eating in the hotel restaurant or attending an evening reception?

Am I being very PFB to worry about how many members of staff could access the room (especially with programable card keys)? The fact that hotels do offer a listening service suggests that many parents are ok with this. I'm torn between thinking I'm paranoid and thinking that they always tell you not to leave valuables in you room except in the safe..... Help!

OP posts:
CurrySpice · 14/05/2012 09:33

Found = sound

busyboysmum · 14/05/2012 09:34

Never have never would.

The fact is that accidents do happen of course they do but if you are around at least you can't blame yourself - if I had left my child and something had happened how could I ever live with myself knowing I had let them down so badly?

soverylucky · 14/05/2012 09:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Badvoc · 14/05/2012 09:36

No

CaptainHetty · 14/05/2012 09:36

No. I wouldn't, ever. If it were that imperative I had time without the children, I would rather make alternative arrangements for them to stay with a family member or trusted friend and just not take them to the hotel at all.

SardineQueen · 14/05/2012 09:38

Can anyone confirm that in hotels that offer listening services / provide listening thingys as part of their service, that in the event of a fire alarm parents would be prevented from collecting their children?

That is honestly one of the maddest things I've ever heard and I simply do not believe it.

DowagersHump · 14/05/2012 09:38

I've done it but with a non-walking baby in a very small guesthouse where our room was on the ground floor within sight of the restaurant (our table was about 10m away from the door). I was only gone for an hour for dinner.

In the scenarios you describe, I wouldn't

badtasteflump · 14/05/2012 09:39

No I would never do this. You are not being PFB. As you said, you wouldn't leave valuables in your room - isn't your DC just as 'valuable'?

And I didn't want to bring up MM, but TBH she was the first thing that popped into my head when I read your OP.

TandB · 14/05/2012 09:40

I wouldn't do it in the situation you have described, OP, but we have done it on a handful of occasions in small family-run, B&B type hotels. We always stay in one of two places when we go up north to see family. One has 5 or 6 rooms and the other has about 10. Both have nice restaurants within about 10 seconds walk of the nearest rooms and we have gone down for dinner with DS1 asleep in the room and a baby monitor on.

Both those hotels are large converted houses and you aren't any further away from your child than if you live in a biggish house, and people can't just walk in off the street.

I wouldn't do it in a standard hotel where you had to go through doors and along corridors to get to your room so I think you have probably made the right decision, OP.

cory · 14/05/2012 09:41

With an older child I can see the advantages to them in leaving them alone in terms of teaching them independence, letting them enjoy feeling grown-up etc, so I'd see that as a reasonable trade-off against the element of risk.
If you get in a car and drive you balance the advantages against the risk.

Re leaving an 18mo in a hotel room I just don't see that many advantages -apart from marginally more convenience for me.

SardineQueen · 14/05/2012 09:41

It says on the west yorks fire service thing that a member of staff is nominated for each room and they go and fetch the children.

It does not say anywhere that children will be left in the rooms while everyone else is evacuated.

Honestly people say stuff on here which is clearly utter nonsense (babies will be left to BURN that is the rules) and no-one even challenges it.

I also think it unlikely that in the event of an evacuation, staff would spend their time physically restraining a parent rather than assisting with evacuation.

Moshlingmummy · 14/05/2012 09:43

Never - I would worry more about a fire than someone kidnapping the child though.

I would take the buggy with me, so if the children were Tired they could sleep. Or one of us would leave the reception early and go back to the room and have an early night.

I think it's one of those things when you have children.

Maybetimeforachange · 14/05/2012 09:44

We have used baby listening in the luxury family hotels such such as The Elms and Fowey Hall which we were comfortable to do as they are properly monitored, the staff are in and out all night letting parents know that there is noise coming from the rooms and they are just big houses so you are only several steps away from the children however, I wouldn't do it in a hotel where it is the exception rather than the rule. We have used Sitters agency to come to the hotel when we have been staying in hotels for weddings or short breaks and found this ideal as you avoid extortionate hotel babysitting fees and know that the sitters are properly vetted.

Moshlingmummy · 14/05/2012 09:44

Yes but if there was an actual fire rather than just a fire alarm, your child would be in more danger than if you were there too.

MonaLotte · 14/05/2012 09:47

I wouldn't do this no way. I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself at all.

SardineQueen · 14/05/2012 09:48

mosling people on this thread have implied strongly that in the event of a fire babies and children will simply be left in their rooms.

This is clearly nonsense and yet no-one had thought to question it - which says something about the level of paranoia on this thread.

Shanghaidiva · 14/05/2012 09:48

Would never do this.
I like 'so very lucky's suggestion.

gettinghappy · 14/05/2012 09:48

I just couldn't [ay someone I didn't know, from an agency to be with my child under any circumstances......

Vicky2011 · 14/05/2012 09:49

No. Never. CRB checked babysitter or (preferably in my view) room service. I know this is restricting but I can't imagine why anyone would think leaving a young child in a hotel room is ok.

LittleMissMcFartyPants · 14/05/2012 09:53

No way, never.

It might be fine, it might not but could you live with the consequences if it wasn't?

As others have said the McCanns thought they weren't BU Sad

thebody · 14/05/2012 10:00

Selyna, disgusting post, hope it doesnt come back to bite u.

Of course the mc canns made a mistake, but to say you hate them is disgusting and unfathonable!! Their haunted faces make me cry.

TheRhubarb · 14/05/2012 10:01

YES JUST DO IT!

There, thought I'd add a bit of controversy since you all seem to agree, there has to be one doesn't there!

BTW, mentioning Madeleine McCann is pretty damn thoughtless, especially in the light of "they thought they weren't being unreasonable" - completely different actually. The OP is talking about using the hotel's babysitting listening service which wouldn't be available if the hotel didn't think it could offer safety and security.

Dh and I did this with both of ours on many occasions. Nothing ever happened. The chances of abduction are practically zero (the McCann case was so well publicised exactly because nothing like this happens on a regular basis, it was shocking because it was so unreal), the chances of a fire are always there and I guess it depends on how close you would be to the room (you can request a room on the same floor as the restaurant).

Or you can take her in her pram and hope she falls asleep.

But I have done this (so shoot me now) and would probably do it again if the room was very close by using not only the hotel's listening service but our own baby alarm too.

thebody · 14/05/2012 10:03

Just to add as I feel so strongly about your post, and at risk of repeating myself we sent our dd on a school trip, she has been badly injured, we sent her, are her injuries our fault??? Our misjudgment??

Sirzy · 14/05/2012 10:03

They may not be left in the room in case of a fire BUT depending on circumstances getting back to them could be close on impossible.

My bigger concern would be if the child woke up, was sick or anything else. It may be unlikely but it's not something I could risk

efffy · 14/05/2012 10:08

Absolutely no way!!