To leave Dd alone in hotel room?

[Shelby2010]

More of a WWYD really. We are going to be staying with Dd (18mths) in a hotel next month on holiday & then overnight for a wedding in July. How safe do MNetters feel it is to leave their sleeping DC in the room with either the listening service or a normal baby monitor while eating in the hotel restaurant or attending an evening reception?

Am I being very PFB to worry about how many members of staff could access the room (especially with programable card keys)? The fact that hotels do offer a listening service suggests that many parents are ok with this. I'm torn between thinking I'm paranoid and thinking that they always tell you not to leave valuables in you room except in the safe..... Help!

Bewler - in a restaurant there is background noise so you can't hear every sound on the monitor.You can see flashing lights buiut how do you know whether it's your DC or somebody walking and talking in the corridor or next room.

Oopsi - trailing me from thread to thread are we?

Not very well mannered dear. I fail to see what my contributions to another thread have to do with this one. FWIW oopsi is referring to the fact that someone accused me of wanting to take my 8yo son into female changing areas at the swimming baths to help him get changed as me wanting him to cop an eyeful of women's bits.

everlong, I am sick frankly of going over and over the argument with you. I have stated the common sense argument which you and other posters have utterly failed to respond to. The abusive babysitters, the women who choose to go to work, who choose to leave kids in pre-schools and nurseries etc. I have stated how leaving your child with a strange babysitter is worse than a monitor and I've backed this up with pretty strong evidence. I've challenged you to find me cases of children being harmed by being left alone in hotel rooms and compare that to the cases of children being harmed by abusive babysitters who the parents thought they could trust.

You choose however to ignore those valid points and continue to harp on about how we should never be parted from our children for one single second.

I read today how a Netmums survey found out that 42% of parents questioned admitted that having children has driven them apart, with 4 out of 5 saying that their relationships suffered due to exhaustion and 15% never went out as a couple anymore. I find that incredibly sad.

I also find it sad that parents are being told that to want a little time for themselves is selfish and irresponsible and that they should not want to go out for a meal by themselves or a holiday alone, that now they have kids they should spend every waking minute with those kids.

That's unrealistic and according to the figures released by Netmums, it's also damaging.

So, here's a thought. You do what you think is right for your kids with your conscience clear and I'll do what I think is right for mine. I only ask that you respect my rights to parent my children as I see fit and not bandy around terms like "irresponsible", "neglect" and "selfish".

I don't think that's too much to ask.

So - agree to disagree like grown-ups and move on?

Sorry rhubarb I can't usually remember who is who on here, but it did make a big impression on me-an 8 yo boy in the ladies changing rooms!!!!

No. Never.
We just came back from holiday and DS 2yo went everywhere with us, dinners and pub stops.
I don't trust strangers and we don't wish to leave him in a locked room. We ate take aways in the room a couple of nights. We got time together when he slept.
And we do go out as a couple when we are home and can leave him with someone we all know, love and trust.
And yes I did think of McCann instantly.

Well said, Isabelle.

HolyCamera, a lot of posters on this thread haven't differentiated ages of children, even if the OP was about an 18 month old. Some of them probably think it's wrong to leave 18 year olds alone in a hotel room, FFS. As far as I know, nobody said one way or the other if they thought I was right or wrong when I posted about being happy to leave DS most nights for an hour when he was 7, although he knew how to leave the room and come and get if he needed us. I suppose some of you on here would judge me for daring to let a 7 year old go in a lift and up and down from our room to the lobby and restaurants on his own whenever he liked, but I don't care. I assessed the risks and I was satisfied and that's what counts.

Oopsi, it's bad form to bring up another thread on a thread. But, Rhubarb obviously assessed the risk and made her judgement about what she thinks is best for her child. Isn't that all we can do?

Oopsi - and?

everlong, I didn't ask you to agree with me. Now I can see you clearly don't read my posts. I asked that we agree to disagree civilly.

And the point about the babysitters is that some families will use neighbours or family friends. Statistically your child is more likely to come to harm from inside the family or from unchecked babysitters than being left in a hotel room.

Families make that decision based on what they perceive the risk factors to be. Those parents whose kids have been abused by the babysitter no doubt thought that they had taken every precaution. But shit happens. Would you call them "selfish"? No.

Or perhaps you would because as you yourself have said, you only leave yours with family or friends. Is that whilst you get a bit of time as a couple? Or a bit of 'me' time? Away from the children?

Because oopsi I can tell the difference between a passing footstep in the corrider outside her room from the local kiddie fiddler unlocking the door, going into her room and trying to shove her in a backpack!

Baby monitor for £95. You'd only need to use it twice to get your moneys worth and save on expensive sitters.

Can anyone tell me what's wrong with using this monitor then? Or are most kidnappers now invisible as well as deadly silent?

To me Creme and I can only speak for myself, 'AIBU to leave my 6.5 year old in a hotel room' is a completely different thread/different discussion and, for me, different response.

TheRhubarb if you want to agree to disagree then you have to let the other people have their opinion. If their opinion is that leaving a child alone in a hotel room is 'neglectful', 'selfish' and 'irresponsible' and you think it's fine then that is what you have to agree to disagree on.

"I WOULD NOT LEAVE MY KIDS WITH ANYBODY OTHER THAN FAMILY OR CLOSEST FRIENDS WHETHER ON HOLIDAY OR ANY OTHER TIME."

most abusers are exactly these people! thats the point! you trust them because they are family or close friends, but actually when kids are abused, its those closest to them and in a position of trust that do the abusing!!!

Holy yes she can stay up a bit later, and does, but not until we go to bed, she can't survive for a week with the same amount of sleep as DH or I, (11pm ish). If it was just a one off, like a wedding, at 6.5 she may last the whole night with us, but not for a weeks holiday!

And yes, when she was 18months we also left her- she was in a cot!!!!! (and not a climber)

yes i like having my kids with me when on holiday the three times we left them were at weddings, we dont leave them when we go on holiday tbh.

and yes i would and do feel happy leaving them with my parents or our close uni friend etc, we all do thats the point but stastically its these close friends who are more likely to do harm to them and yet we dont beat ourselves up worrying about that and when there is the safe option of leaving them in a room a few doors away with a good moniter nad periodic checking in i am being told that is neglectful and i should feel guilty etc, but you dont feel guilty leaving them with close friends i assume?

Is this thread STILL going? For goodness sake don't do it - put your children first. End of subject.

Is this thread STILL going? For goodness sake don't do it - put your children first. End of subject.

statistically yes they are more at risk with close family than alone in a hotel room and yes i will come back and argue the case when you make comments like "So what's more important the burger or the child?" because you are basically insinuating that i dont care for my children which is so far from the truth its unbelievable and oddly enough i find it insulting. i am not saying you have to make the same choices i do, but i dont judge you for yours so dont judge me for mine.

My DH used to pester me to do this on holiday when our DC's were very young and needed to go to bed early. I flatly refused - there was just no way I would do it (and I am a very laid back parent), so, we would sit in the dimly lit room in silence from 7 !!!! We look back now and laugh like drains . If I had my time again I still wouldn't do it. TBH I don't think it was because of a risk of kidnapping, just because I couldn't bear the thought of them waking up, being lost and frightened in a strange place and it taking me, what would seem like an eternity to them, to get there.
I wouldn't judge another that felt happy doing it though - I know lots of parents that have and their DC are absolutely fine!

You are only putting your couple of hors in the bar before your children if you belive them to be at high risk of something terrible in their hotel bedroom a few feet from the bar. As i don't feel my child is at any greater risk than at home in her room (without a monitor) then i am not really putting my drink before her safety in my eyes. So therefore it is not selfish to me, only in your opinion.