PerfumedLife - thank you.
We don't 'do' family holidays because we do family everything else so it's nice to have a bit of time when you are not a mother and on call 24/7. That being said, I've never heard the kids complain when we take them on backpacking holidays or staying with friends rather than CentreParcs or a resort with a Kids Club.
Look - I would not let my child be sat by a babysitter that I didn't know personally, neither would either of them been happy with it at all either. But would I condemn those who are happy enough to let a strange hotel staff member look after their child? No.
As someone very helpfully said. You do a risk assessment and if you deem it to be safe then go with it.
Not every baby will sleep in a buggy, not every baby wants to be up dancing until midnight, not every baby sleeps through whilst you sit in your hotel room with lamps on chatting, not every baby will be on their best behaviour whilst you eat a meal.
I remember in Portugal, dd was just turned 3 and no longer content to be put to sleep in her buggy. Both dh and I took it in turns to wheel her round and round but she would not sleep. We were trying to have a peaceful meal and chat and just be a couple, but she wanted attention. She wanted out, she wanted to eat our meal, she wanted to run around and play and we spent an exhaustive time trying to entertain her throughout the whole meal.
This and time spent sat in dark hotel rooms convinced us that a baby monitor was the way to go.
And yes our kids are fine with going out for meals and spending time in adult company. They've had to be because we don't live near any family or friends so I can count on one hand the number of times we've had an actual babysitter. Now that they are older they come with us.
On Saturday night we went out for our wedding anniversary meal. The kids came with us. It was ok but we spent a lot of the time talking to them, trying to persuade them to eat the meal we'd bought for them, asking them not to spill their coke, providing pens and paper for drawings, answering questions. We would have loved that time to be a couple again, but it wasn't to be. Yes we could have stayed at home and put them to bed, but that's what we do all the time. This time we wanted to go out, it was a special time.
What irks me is that people are not content to say "I would not do this", they have to then cast judgement on those who do. Despite us saying that a child is more likely to come to harm from a babysitter (the stats prove this) than being abducted from a hotel. Despite hotels being much much safer for fires than your own home. Despite children being able to choke and vomit in their sleep at home just as much in a hotel room and neither would you hear them then. In fact you are more likely to hear of any trouble if you are alert and have a baby monitor than you are if you are downstairs in your own home watching TV and they are upstairs in bed.
No-one is saying that doing this regularly is the right thing to do. But every now and then, there is nothing wrong imo to leave them in a locked hotel room with a baby monitor if you have done a proper risk assessment and are satisfied that they are ok. It's not much different to sitting outside in your garden on a nice evening whilst they sleep upstairs. Yes they might wake and want their mummy, but that's what the baby monitor is there for.
You can't absolve everything from every risk. Yes it is a choice to leave them in a hotel room and no you don't have to make that choice. But some of us do and we don't really need to be condemned and hung out to dry for it.
It seems that those who wouldn't do it are very prepared to slate those who have done it. Whilst those who have done it, aren't slating anyone.