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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To leave Dd alone in hotel room?

999 replies

Shelby2010 · 13/05/2012 22:40

More of a WWYD really. We are going to be staying with Dd (18mths) in a hotel next month on holiday & then overnight for a wedding in July. How safe do MNetters feel it is to leave their sleeping DC in the room with either the listening service or a normal baby monitor while eating in the hotel restaurant or attending an evening reception?

Am I being very PFB to worry about how many members of staff could access the room (especially with programable card keys)? The fact that hotels do offer a listening service suggests that many parents are ok with this. I'm torn between thinking I'm paranoid and thinking that they always tell you not to leave valuables in you room except in the safe..... Help!

OP posts:

monkeymoma · 14/05/2012 13:23

"The only people I'd be slightly at are those who go through agonies trying to decide if their childminder / nanny / nursery is safe for their child and then think nothing of leaving their sleeping child in a hotel room with someone they barely know, who they accept is suitable to look after their child simply on the say-so of the hotel they happen to be staying in. I just don't understand that"

it's because nannies or home babysitters are going into their prescious homes! that's why its more important to vet them!
I judge people who use hotel babysitters because every EVERY time I drew the short straw (they say they use the kids club staff, but if they were not available they'ld use anyone) the parents were awful! gave no info like fav toy or if they had a dummy etc, sometimes not even the child's name and never took my name! If the child woke up and couldn't be settled and I called the bar they didn't care, they didn't rush back, they were often HOURS later than they booked and never rang or came up to check. Sometimes they weren't even where they said they'ld be, they would say they would be in the restraunt/bar but if needed it'd turn out they got a taxi into town.
never ever once did I sit for parents in a hotel who asked if I knew what I was doing (I didn't and always tried to get out of it!) or who talked me through what to do if the child needed settling.

LEMONAIDE · 14/05/2012 13:25

Pre Madeline McCann id have thought it was inadvisable...now I am sorry I think it would be highly foolish.

When we go away I put a chair in front of the door when WE sleep as keys can be reproduced - no way would I leave a child un-supervised.

bogeyface · 14/05/2012 13:26

"It was either that or sit in a dark hotel room from 7pm, or perch on the edge of the bath with a glass of wine, talking in hushed whispers. "

Yes, and?!

YOu go away to a hotel with a small child and that is what you have to do, either that or......shock horror.....Dont Go!

FFS the level of entitlement on this thread makes me sick! You are parents, your needs come SECOND or did no one mention that?!

monkeymoma · 14/05/2012 13:26

Latsia they wouldn't leave their wallet/cameras/phones/jewelry in the room with me, but nearly ran me over to get out of their rooms so they could leave their chilren with me.

lisaro · 14/05/2012 13:27

I sometimes wonder why people bother having children if they would do something like this!

AuntLucyInPeru · 14/05/2012 13:27

Interestingly, child-abduction by a stranger is a higher risk than I thought - in 2002/3 (last year for which published stats are available) there were 68 UK successful stranger-abductions

SardineQueen · 14/05/2012 13:28

Wow some superb ranting now!

Whoneedssleepanyway · 14/05/2012 13:29

Holy -yes I see your point, and agree maybe the car comparison isn't necessarily the most appropriate. But there are other things we let our DCs do that are unavoidable and from which people may die e.g. going on rides a theme parks, horse riding, etc etc...I heard of a child who died falling off the top of a slide in a playground...

I totally agree that if your DC was the one to die in a hotel fire you would never forgive yourself but people do things that are avoidable all the time where the risk is negligible.

Showmethemhappyfeet · 14/05/2012 13:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

LEMONAIDE · 14/05/2012 13:31

I have to say at 18 months my son spent more time on the dance floor at a wedding reception than I did...then slept in his buggy despite the pounding disco!!

TheRhubarb · 14/05/2012 13:33

bogeyface get over yourself will you?

Parents need a life too. If you don't get time as parents then your relationship suffers as a result. Not everyone can afford babysitters or have understanding relatives.

I put my children first every single day. I gave up my career for them. I work from home so that I can be there for them whenever they need me. I spend the money I earn on them, my needs come second. Our lives have changed and now largely revolve around them. Yet every once in a while you need a bit of time to yourselves.

As for why bother having kids. Yeah, why bother indeed? I'd best just ditch mine now eh? Tell you what, lisaro, since you'd do a much better job than me, do you want them? Shall I send them over to you?

FreudianSlipper · 14/05/2012 13:35

no i wouldn't

take a buggy and let her sleep in the buggy if she gets tired, if anything like my ds will stay awake so not to miss anything

Whoneedssleepanyway · 14/05/2012 13:35

Bogeyface - I think that is a bit OTT...you are still allowed to have a life when you become a parent. The few people on this thread who have scandalously admitted to leaving their children in a hotel room have all said they looked at the situation and considered whether it was appropriate, and isn't that what you do all the time as a parent?

I personally wouldn't go and stay in a hotel where I had to sit in the bathroom or something. The few times we have had occassions to go to a hotel with our DDs we have chosen somewhere that we would be comfortable leaving them in the room (e.g. with family party where we took over the hotel), or where we could have a babysitter. I genuinely don't think I have done anything wrong and would do this again if we were to go and stay in a hotel somewhere. In the event we had to stay in a busy inner city hotel, I wouldn't do this.

TheRhubarb · 14/05/2012 13:36

Everytime someone tries to compare this to the McCanns unhappy incident I'll bang my head on my lovely wooden table. Because that might actually be more conducive than to argue with over-protective, judgemental and arrogant posters about how everyone other than themselves are shite parents for taking calculated risks.

ChitChatFlyingby · 14/05/2012 13:37

Abduction risk is one thing, but the safety risk is something else entirely. We were on holiday in the US in an apartment at a ski resort, DS1 was only 9 months old at the time. In the room next door I had a very quiet but odd sound coming from his room, went in and checked on him and he had vomited everywhere. He had come down with a vicious noro virus really quickly. He could so easily have choked and he was incredibly distressed.

Children only cry AFTER they have stopped choking. The actual choking is very quiet, and you would never hear it over a monitor in a noisy room.

Whoneedssleepanyway · 14/05/2012 13:39

ChitChat - on that basis though you could be sat downstairs at home watching TV and not hear this as I don't sit in my living room with a monitor on at home when the DDs are asleep upstairs.

Glad you DS was ok.

Astr0naut · 14/05/2012 13:40

We had this last year at my sister's wedding when ds was 20 months. The hotel room was on teh ground floor a fair walk away from the room the night do was in. I hoped ds would be one of those kids that ran around all night. He wasn't.

We had to suck it up and take turns babysitting. My mum and friend took a turn with us, so we did get some time together.

Off on holiday soon and I fully accept that evenings wil be spent on the balconey with a bottle of wine and a book. It's not forever, but it's what you do when yo've got small kids.

Alisonjayjay · 14/05/2012 13:40

I wouldn't. I'd feel very nervous about leaving a sleeping baby anywhere. I know a hotel room seems safe but don't take any chances. My son is 7 years old and we often stay in hotel rooms and I wouldn't feel safe leaving him. Last weekend we stayed in a hotel with him and he wanted to play in the hotel lobby as they had a kids area with an xbox but even then I had to be sitting near enough to see him. It makes me nervous leaving them in strange places where anyone could just walk out the door with them.

Whoneedssleepanyway · 14/05/2012 13:40

TheRhubarb I am right there with you banging my head on my desk

verytellytubby · 14/05/2012 13:41

Nope I wouldn't and haven't. Let her sleep in the buggy.

PineappleBed · 14/05/2012 13:41

I wouldn't, can the hotel get you a babysitter?

HolyCameraConfusionBatman · 14/05/2012 13:42

whoneeds the thing with theme park rides, horse riding and going on the slide is there is a benefit to the child. It's fun, exciting, it's a good way to learn about risk management etc. I'm not suggesting we ban all activities where there is a small risk. In this case the small risk can be removed by getting a babysitter, it's a matter of a small payment. For me it's comparable to buying a cycle helmet, smoke alarm or car seat etc. My view is, if you can avoid a risk (even a tiny one) with a small payment or a tiny inconvinience (baby asleep in the pram) then you should do so.

VivaLeBeaver · 14/05/2012 13:42

I would and have done this when dd was a similar age.

I would only do it with a first floor room that I was happy I could get back to in an emergency very quickly. A 10 min walk back to the room would certainly be too far away. 5 mins would be too far away. I would ring teh hotel up beforehand and discuss my requirements for a first floor room close to the top of the stairs.

I would use my own baby monitor so I could listen in myself rather than rely on a member of staff.

I would lock the door. The chances of someone bashing the door door down to kidnap a child without either me hearing them or someone else seeing them are very remote. Didin't teh McGanns leave a window/door open?

I've been skiing with Esprit every year for 12 years and they have some large chalets (5 floors), kids aren't allowed at the dinner table/adult meal and every single family leave their children in the rooms. So it seems to me that even though on MN a lot of people say they wouldn't do it in reality people do do it.

And I've seen some really dodgy things in Esprit chalets like kids been left (toddlers) in unlocked ground floor rooms where there is no main reception and the dining room is in the basement so anyone could have come in and taken the kids. I would be more cautious than that.

oopsi · 14/05/2012 13:43

It's a hotel, you haven't got a clue who has got keys to the room

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