At what age does breastfeeding become weird?

[TransatlanticCityGirl]

My MIL made a comment today about a mother who breastfed her child until she was 5 years old - as in, 'can you believe it???? that's just not right!'

Which got me wondering, where do most people draw the line in terms of how old is too "weird"?

I'm not sure why anyone thinks that if a child is still being breastfed at 4/5/6/7/8 or how ever many years old they are 'being kept a baby' or aren't independant enough. They surely do everything else their peers do that is developmentally appropriate for their age, including drinking from an open cup, but they also still breastfeed. They are doing everything their non breastfed peers are doing.

well you would have to stop this silly breastfeeding lark first and get him on the "good stuff"

Doormat you need to meet some breast fed children, I think.
You do seem really stuck on this idea of independence and not being allowed to move on developing.

If you think of nappies, never being shown pants might stop you potty training I suppose. But what does still being breast fed stop my 3.4yo from moving on to?

She can use a knife and fork. She can settle without the breast (I work away frequently). She is (according to her nursery key worker) perfectly independent for her age.

It's not an either/or... She can breast feed and still develop. I'm interested in what you think it stops - so I can share with you the reality of an older breast fed child.

As for never saying no... Of course I say no! About lots of things. And sometimes I say no to a feed, too. But in the context in which she feeds, saying no would be like saying no to a cuddle. Why would you?

cabrinha i have...5 of my own were bf

"At each of the assessments, the researcher team found a link between breastfeeding duration and behaviour. For each additional month of breastfeeding, the behaviour score improved. This remained valid after adjustment for socio-economic, social and other factors impacting on parenting."

Well, Shagmund, you can prove anything with facts:-)

THAT is your danger point
not being over generous in terms of parental care

that is a nasty thing ot say to someone you do not know

he he

2shoes - she already explained she meant no individual in particular.

'Tis the way English works....'your' can mean 'one's' :)

Loved the article on breastfeeding in Mongolia someone posted further back.

Really we are very, very squeamish about breastfeeding in the UK. I mean, bizarrely so.

There's a pretty strong sense that breastmilk is somehow digusting. Human breastmilk that is. Cow breastmilk is yummy and wholesome. Human breastmik is akin to faeces or pus or something. . And yet also a bit.... sexual. God, that's so British. Toilets and sex. In one subject. Throw in clingy children and you've got British neurosis just sewn up.

Doormat there are way too many pages, so I'm sorry if I've missed the ages of your 5.
But I said breast fed CHILDREN - to distinguish them from babies or toddlers. It sounds to me from your posts that your 5 weren't breast fed past being babies or maybe toddlers?
Up thread you asked don't we honestly think a 5yo breast fed is being held back from developing. That's why I'm asking you WHAT development is held back? And it's why I assume you haven't met bf CHILDREN, as if you had you'd know they were developmentally just like your own!

Both my children were very clear that they weren't interested in being BF after about eight or nine months. If I had continued, and I had no strong views either way, it would have felt as though I was doing it for my sake, not theirs.

cabrinha cant remember each of them individually but know they were under 3, when i stopped...

tiktok it was intended to be a deragotory statement towards my parenting and assumed that i wasnt caring or attentive as a mother...whether yours comes into the equation or not....

Doormat can i ask what is the next stage for my DS when he turns 4 or 5? He can already open the fridge, get a cup and pour out his own drink. He can also mix up his own milkshake. So what is next? Should he be milking the cow himself by then? Or maybe cook dinner by himself? Or do you regard stopping bf as a stage in itself? Because I prefer the developmental stages to be positive steps, rather than just giving things up.

moajab do what you please...just because i have my opinion doesnt mean there cannot be a debate, without condescending attitudes from you and others

Abra1d - if your children had refused to latch on and feed I don't think you would have been able to continue breastfeeding no matter what your motivation.

But if they had been willing to latch on and feed, and you had seen fit to continue to allow them to do so, rest assured that your milk would have been better for them than any other drink you could have replaced it with (assuming you do replace the calories in breastmilk with a substitute, once breastfeeding stops).

Re: breastfeeding impeding normal child development - there's some interesting research on breastfeeding being protective against bed-wetting here: here On a personal note, all my children have had over a year of breastfeeding, and my youngest had nearly 3 years. They were all a breeze to potty train. Actually my youngest potty trained himself at two. We've had almost no accidents and they were dry at night from very early on.

Doormat inspite of my flippant comments my question still stands. You are the one who has said that my continuing to bf children are being prevented from moving on to the next stage. But I wont ask again if the question annoys you!

Shagmund thats an interestinf article. Non of mine have been particularly easy to potty train. But we have never had any bed wetting after the age of 3.

'But if they had been willing to latch on and feed, and you had seen fit to continue to allow them to do so, rest assured that your milk would have been better for them than any other drink you could have replaced it with (assuming you do replace the calories in breastmilk with a substitute, once breastfeeding stops).'

Yup. My mother is, or used to be, a breastfeeding counsellor, so I am pretty clued up on the benefits. To be honest, I would have stopped at a year anyway.

Another concern that I have is this... with all the extreme breastfeeding and co-sleeping, do you think it's possible our blokes are feeling a bit pushed out? It seems our boobs and our beds are frequently off limits.

Again, not a criticism of anybody's lifestyle, just something I wonder about.

man, it pisses me off that I try to answer questions and right a fecking essay about why I don't think it is right to compare different developmental time frames to each other and all the people who asked the questions in the first place do is snipe on about something they think someone was saying to them when they were in fact making a general comment about parenting pitfalls.

I suppose I should know better having been on MN a while but it still winds me up...

marie I am sure like with everything that some blokes do and some don't.

My DH has bought totally into BF and is utterly supportive. But I know men that have felt pushed out, or even vetoed BF before the baby is born as they want to bottle feed the baby themselves....