At what age does breastfeeding become weird?

[TransatlanticCityGirl]

My MIL made a comment today about a mother who breastfed her child until she was 5 years old - as in, 'can you believe it???? that's just not right!'

Which got me wondering, where do most people draw the line in terms of how old is too "weird"?

CecilyP, I genuinely don't have any opinion on when it would become weird, because how another mother nurtures her child with love is absolutely none of my business. Every relationship between a mother and child is unique and none of can say what is right or wrong for each connection. Far better to concentrate on one's own parenting that to commment on the parenting of others.

Also, the word weird is offensive. It's implying something creepy and I think 'unnecessary' would be a far better, more neutral word that reflects the actuality of breastfeeding children.

I am currently b-feeding my 18mo dd and it doesn't feel weird to me, but I do understand the question.

Whether people like it or not, we live in a society where b-feeding is unusual even for small babies so for older children it is even more unusual and I think weird does sum up how most people would feel about seeing an older child b-feed.

But, I can't imagine it would suddenly feel weird to feed my own child and I do wonder in a vague way at what age it would feel weird or wrong, or if she will just stop by herself before that happens.

In real life I wouldn't find the OP offensive at all and I am fully in support of extended b-feeding. So what if other people think it's weird, if it works for child and mum get on with it! Threads like this are useful as it does challenge ignorant assumptions about b-feeding -eg that there are no benefits to the child after a certain age.

2shoes, I hate to say this, but are you deliberately missing lots of the points being made?

A dummy or bottle can be harmful to tooth development, breastfeeding cannot and is in fact, helpful to too development.

As has also been said, breastmilk continues to be beneficial both healthwise and nutritionally for as long as the child has it, it doesn't suddenly change to water or lose it's nutritional value at any point, in fact, it adapts to the changing needs of the child to suit those needs.

Children who breastfeed, at any age, are recieving nutrition as well as comfort. They may not 'need' breastmilk for nutrition, but it benefits them, so why not? They don't 'need' cows milk. Or carrots, or potatoes, but if they all make up a part of a balanced diet, why shouldn't human milk too?

From my own point of view, I intend to continue to BF until DD self weans. That may be when she's 2 or it may be when she's 7. I'll continue because it is beneficial for her and it's also a lot easier than going down the parent led weaning route. However, even now when she is still under a year old, there are times when I don't really like breastfeeding her (being pinched, poked, prodded and kicked in the face is not my idea of a laugh, oddly... ) so it's never going to be because it's what I want for myself or because I benefit from it in some way.

No, there is no right or wrong answer. It is just a matter of opinion. But OP was inviting opinions, or possible consensus. Though what has happened is that everyone has tended to write about their own experiences rather than answering OP's question. Or they have neatly sidestepped it by insisting that children can't breastfeed once they get their permanent teeth. Although there was a woman on TV a couple of years ago who was breastfeeding her 9 and 10 year old girls, so that can't be quite true. Personally, I think up to 3 is fine, 3 -5 a bit marginal and over 5 is veering into weird territory.

I breastfed my baby for 6 weeks, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but what was even harder was my decision to stop, I didnt want to stop but PND took that choice away from me, my body was so stressed it no longer produced enough milk to satisfy DD.

I wish that I could've carried on until we were both ready to stop, don't get me wrong I'm not saying I would be willing to do it when she is 3 because I probably wouldnt, but where I live I don't even see women feeding newborns, let alone toddlers!

But having said that, if its more a comfort thing as opposed to having a drink type thing, then I would imagine women who do it up until 3 or older probably do it at home, before bedtime or in the morning, or when the child is poorly etc so who's business us ur anyway! I certainly wouldn't let anyone tell me how to raise my child so why should someone feeding a toddler and feeling its right for them care what others think!

Most children cannot BF after they get their adult teeth. Some obviously learn.

There is a poster on MN (this thread actually) who breastfed her DD until 9 or 10 years old in fact.

There's no evidence to suggest that breastfeeding a child for however long they need it is detrimental to that child in any way at all and as all children develop at a different level emotionally and phsyically then there is no 'wrong' age to still be breastfeeding.

Lets face it, do any of us know of any adults who are popping back to Mummy from Uni or work at weekends to have a breastfeed still? Well no, because all children self wean eventually.

Lets face it, do any of us know of any adults who are popping back to Mummy from Uni or work at weekends to have a breastfeed still? Well no, because all children self wean eventually.

I am sure they do. Although, if they didn't we would be unlikely to know about it. It would be interesting to revisit the family in that documentary to see when/if they did eventually stop.

Cecily I remember that tv programme, I think the daughter was 8 however both her daughters were obsessed with their mums breasts, each had a name for them, they constantly drew pictures of them, they were obsessed with watching her dress. I personally would not like that at all, to me that was very odd, perhaps for a toddler it preschooler fine, but for a 8 and 10 year old, not really.

Cecily, if you mean the documentary 'Extraordinary Breastfeeding', the girls were not 9 and 10 and they weaned at age 7 and 8, one was already weaned when the programme aired.

www.themothermagazine.co.uk/extraordinarybreastfeeding.html

It is only our culture that makes it "weird".
There is no correct answer I guess.

My point re: judging dummy use at 5 yo is based solely on my experience of children around me who have used a dummy at that age. They range from having it at bedtime (which I couldn't care less about, it's comfort, oure and simple), to having it brought to them at school pick up time (?!), talking with it in (2x ?!), and one who had the tiniest little stumps for teeth at the front due to the fact that the only time the dummy was ever out of their mouth was for eating and drinking (3x ?!)

Thanks midori. Didn't realise it was way back in 2006 - how time flies. I think I was a bit confused by the girl requesting to be breastfed for her 9th birthday. Didn't realise it was not an everyday occurence, but a special treat.

I had no idea until now that other people might think my desire to breast feed an older child = an inability to say no!

I would find it weird to breastfeed DS past the point where he could walk, and very weird to breastfeed him past the point where he could talk. I'm sure there's plenty of cultural conditioning going on there, but I'm actually quite happy with my culture on this . I think our culture is much less keen on extended breastfeeding than some others for fairly logical reasons. Firstly, we have access to decent contraception. Secondly, we have access to decent alternative nutrition. So extended breastfeeding doesn't confer the obvious benefits it might elsewhere or in the past. Given the thousands upon thousands of perfectly happy, healthy children out there who weren't breastfed past twelve months, I don't think the obviously-not-crucial benefits of extended breastfeeding are worth having a three year old pulling at my top. What other people do is up to them shrug

hmm I think I was guilty of not answering the OP directly so:

I would find it weird to BF my DD past the point that she obviously wanted it. I would find it weird to stop before she stops obviously wanting it.

How many people think that 3 is too old to have a breast, bottle or sippy cup first thing in the morning but will head straight for starbucks and buy essentially a sippy cup, wrap both hands around it and sip from it for ten minutes getting great comfort. How is that different? There is probably a really good chance that those cups have (cow) breast milk in them.

I have a photo from when my eldest was two and a half sitting in bed in the morning with dad. DS had a bottle, dad had his coffee cup and they had the exact same pose.

DS#1 rode in a pushchair when he was 4 or 5. We were at Disney and had the pushchair for his brother but he was really tired. We stuck DS#2 in the sling and let DS#1 get a ride back to the car. We did this from time to time when DS was tired. He is now 16 and doesn't have a bottle or sit in a pushchair, it didn't retard his development.

Breastmilk has a component that kills cancer cells. I would think for that reason alone that extended breast feeding is a really good idea. Studies have shown that the longer you breastfeed the chance of getting breast cancer are significantly reduced. I'm all for that!

"head straight for starbucks and buy essentially a sippy cup, wrap both hands around it and sip from it for ten minutes getting great comfort"

I would get an IV caffeine shot instead but it's frowned upon.

I didn't answer the OP either. I don't think it is weird to BF the length of time ::I:: did. It seems weird to do it longer than I did, but I know that is just my hangup and it is because it is unfamiliar to me.

Hop - What is this BM component that kills cancer cells? I'm curious.

Ah, I found it. The substance ("HAMLET") is not shown to spontaneously form in breast milk but it is speculated that it may form in the acidic environment of babies' stomachs. Also, scientists are trying to come up with a way to deliver this compound to cancers, because clearly just ingesting breast milk isn't enough.

So, I wouldn't say breast milk kills cancer in babies, but it is a promising discovery. I hope it can be used to make cancer medicine soon.

Meanwhile, a friend's 1 year old DS is in the hospital with cancer on his kidney that was very recently discovered. He will undergo chemotherapy, then have an operation where his kidney will be removed. Fwiw, he is still breastfed

Sorry about your friends DS.

Breast milk does contain stem cells and so is being investigate as a cure for cancer because of that.

I know this is going back upthread a bit, but I was wondering why anyone would think bfing for comfort makes children obese? I'm fairly certain every time I've seen it discussed the conclusion is that feeding on demand makes children less prone to obesity in later life. I'm also pretty certain that ebfing reduces rates of obesity.