Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To ask the staff at DD's nursery to use different language?

94 replies

CalamityLame · 11/05/2012 18:42

DD is 2.5 ad goes to nursery 4 days a week. DH does all the drop offs and pick ups, so I have very little contact with the nursery staff at all.

Last night DD lay one of her dollies on the floor, stood over her and shouted 'Dolly, you have done a manky poo. I am very cross. You sit by yourself.'

We never say anything like that and actually try to praise whenever DD does a poo, because she has a tendency to hold them in for a couple of days. She is potty trained.

This must have come from nursery, and I'm really unhappy with (a) the use of the word 'manky' and (b) the fact that a child - could have been DD or another child - has apparently been told off for doing a poo.

I want to complain about it to the owner (is one of three nurseries run by one woman) but DH thinks I'm being precious and overreacting.

What do you think?

OP posts:

AhCannitSeeMan · 12/05/2012 06:08

Blapbird I shouldn't rise to your obvious bid for a reaction, but, I can't help myself.

The nursery nurses who work at my child's nursery have a whole range of experience and qualifications, at least two of them hold a childcare related degree. They are all working towards NVQs.
As well as this they are all lovely, caring and professional girls.

I hate it when people criticise those in lower paid careers, somebody has to do these jobs and I am grateful that they do.

Not everybody is academic and more practical and vocational careers may suit them better.
I hope when your children (if you have them) come to choose their path in life you do not express such snobby bilge.

Original poster

CalamityLame · 12/05/2012 06:11

Hang on, sorry - the use of the word, be it manky or whatever, wasn't my main focus. The main thing I was worried about was the fact that she, or another child, might have been told off for being a poo. I specifically mentioned which word it was because it's not a word that I can think anyone at home uses, therefore it must have been a Phrase picked up a nursery - whether from a nursery worker it another child, I don't know.

Like I said, DD has had some problems with holding on to her poo and I was really worried that it could be made worse if she is being told off for doing a poo.

That's what I meant by asking staff to use 'different language' - I meant, more positive language about toilet habits. Not 'don't use the word 'manky''. Sorry if my OP sounded accusatory towards the nursery staff, I suppose I had worked myself up about it. Which is silly, really, because every day DH says somethig about how much the staff seem to really love all the children, how nice they are etc.

Like I said, I don't have much contact, and DH thinks I overreacted, which is totally right given that being cross about doing a poo could well have come from another child. I will just keep being positive whenever she does a poo at home.

OP posts:

ToffeeWhirl · 12/05/2012 06:15

I would be very cross if my child was told off for being a poo .

Original poster

CalamityLame · 12/05/2012 06:17

In my OP, I should have said that I was cross about the use of manky in relation to doing a poo, sorry. I wondered why that had been the main focus of all the posts, then re read my OP and realised that it sounded like I have a vendetta against the actual word.

OP posts:

DollysDrawers · 12/05/2012 06:32

Why do some immediately assume that nursery must be the problem? Is your Dd not exposed to anyone else socially at all? If you have question regarding your daughterrs care then of course raise it with them but you need to be pretty sure of your facts or you'll look a fool. What do you think of your DD's key person and the rest of the staff?

Original poster

CalamityLame · 12/05/2012 06:42

It was because she'd been at nursery that day, Dollys. To be honest, apart from crèche once a week, no, she doesn't have much contact with other children socially.

I don't really know her key worker, though DH assures me that the staff are all lovely. That's probably what the problem is - I just feel so put of touch with what DD does eery day when I am at work. I miiss being with her, and I worry about her. Obviously I totally jumped to conclusions and I'm glad that I posted on here before actually saying anything to the nursery!

OP posts:

ToffeeWhirl · 12/05/2012 06:57

"The main thing I was worried about was the fact that she, or another child, might have been told off for being a poo ".

Sorry, couldn't resist commenting on this above .

I think it's very unlikely a nursery worker said this. It may easily be that your DD heard another mother saying it at pickup time or something. Or maybe she heard the word 'manky' and has applied it to the word 'poo' herself.

If I was in your position, I would listen and watch out for any further indications of negativity about going to the loo from your DD, but I wouldn't say anything at this stage.

I'm sure that if you are relaxed about your daughter's toilet habits, she will be too.

ToffeeWhirl · 12/05/2012 06:59

Or you could have a friendly chat with your DD's key worker and explain that DD gets constipated sometimes and you are really working to help her relax and overcome that. Don't even mention the 'manky poo' concern. Just get the key worker on your side in a friendly way.

conorsrockers · 12/05/2012 07:10

I doubt she knows the meaning of 'manky' and if she did pick it up from nursery I suspect it was in a 'what nonsense can I chat to about while I change your nappy in a kind of high pitched happy tone' kind of way.
I suspect she not going to think it through too much. Make it a joke.
You are maybe being a little precious.

DollysDrawers · 12/05/2012 07:30

Could you perhaps take a morning off or go in a bit later one day so you could take her to nursery yourself and get to know the staff a bit better? I can see how that may bother you if you don't know them even if your DH does. I would most def want to know the people looking after my DD 4 days a week so perhaps that's clouding your view? If they have an open door policy you can go in whenever you want to so it may be worth it to put your mind at rest. I'm sorry if I sounded ratty before I just think nursery workers get a hard time on here sometimes.

seeker · 12/05/2012 07:33

The word "manky" is not the issue here. The issue is that a 2 year old shouted at her dolly 'Dolly, you have done a manky poo. I am very cross. You sit by yourself"

I cannot understand why people think it's precious to want to find out where this came from.

Op. Talk to the person in charge of the nursery. Tell her that you dd said this and you are concerned. You don't have to be heated, or accusatory. But you are perfectly right to be concerned.

luckylavender · 12/05/2012 07:35

Well you will just have to remove your child from all other influences to ensure that she says exactly what you want at all times. Seriously it will get worse not better and this sounds quite precious. In a Nursery (as in RL) she will hear all sorts.

Willabywallaby · 12/05/2012 07:41

Just talk to nursery. I think you are probably overreacting but I thought I was this week with something my DS was saying about one of his 'teachers' at nursery. I feel so much better now I've talked to them about it.

Mrsjay · 12/05/2012 07:49

Hi your DD is 2 she could have heard this from another child , maybe a childs mum says that to them and the child said it to Daisy iyswim , I wouldnt worry about it too much but go and speak to the nursery and clear it up , your daughter is going to pick up a lot of words and phrases you make not like , it usually comes from other children ,

BillyBollyBandy · 12/05/2012 07:54

If she was apologising for doing a poo, or saying "don't be angry mummy" or was upset then I would be concerned.

Her telling a doll off is a seperate incident to her than the poo that is mentioned.

So if she said "here's a cup of tea, I've put a sausage in it for you" you wouldn't think she had been drinking cups of tea at nursery with sausages in them would you? You would think she had mixed the 2 situations - her watching you drink tea and her eating sausages - into one roleplay.

I think that is what she has done with the doll.

Oh and dd1 is 2.8 and disciplines her dolls with a smack. She has never been smacked or physically chastised, or ever seen it as far as I know. She is just vicious

MissBeehivingUnderTheMistletoe · 12/05/2012 08:01

I can't understand why the nursery staff would say it at all tbh - it's not like you could stop children at nursery pooing!

I chat to my DS about the contents of his nappy, on occasion, and I have heard the staff at DS's nursery talking to him and other children whilst having their nappies changed about that and other stuff.

Usually the phrases that DS repeats from nursery have the matching intonation as well. That works in reverse as well.

catsareevil · 12/05/2012 08:21

No harm in asking the nursery staff if they know why she might have said that, but I think that being accusatory would be a total overreaction.

How do you know that your DD is holding poo in for a couple of days?

Sirzy · 12/05/2012 08:26

Lol billy - when I was about that age I tied my sister into her highchair with a skipping rope because she was annoying! I'm pretty sure that my parents never did anything like that lol

Some0ne · 12/05/2012 08:33

I agree with BillyBollyBandy's tea-sausage analogy. My 22-month old frequently combines things she's heard into unlikely combinations, because she's just playing around with words and ideas.

Or she could just be expressing her own negativity towards poo, given that she has issues with pooing. Maybe she didn't pick it up from anyone at all?

Flip

1 2 3 4