To hope this teache has something to say to me

[shinybaubles]

At the beginning of the week I got a letter home about parents evening, to be held today and that Ds has an appointment at 7.50 - 8.10 pm, so I fill in slip saying we won't be attending and send it back. Not attending because it's so late will have to get Ds 2 out of bed after he has been asleep and take both kids, it says on form no kids allowed, it also says no alternative appointments will be offered this is the only chance to speak to Miss O. Well I see Miss O to speak to at least once a week and was even helping out this week in class, she normally tells me how Ds 1 is doing, so I think nothing urgent at parents evening. Also Ds is leaving the school next month.
Yesterday there was a note home asking about Ds new school, and I reply happy to tell you when I next see you.
Get to school this afternoon and Miss O is at the door I said do you want to have a chat one day about new school, she says I must Attend parents evening, I explain I can't , am given the line no other appointments will be offered -ok but I wasn't asking for one. Then I was questioned as to not having a babysitter, and not having relatives available, then told it was very important to attend and that I am allowed to bring the kids.
So I'm going to parents evening with the kids seeing as I have been told to do so.
AIBU to be cross if she has nothing to say, and also if there is something seriously wrong with Ds and or his work she could have told me anytime all term and asked me to make an appointment if it was something formal.

Under these circumstances, I'd probably have pressed the teacher on why was it so important that I attend parents night. And probably still have refused to go.

on your behalf. Even though you might not be angry.

And speak to a parent governor about why such a ridiculous set up has been allowed in the first place. If they can only do parent consultations late at night (in DC terms) then they need to make alternative arrangements for parents who cannot get there at that time. It isn't rocket science, plenty of schools manage it.

I would have done but Ds was standing with me and I had all the other parents listening and waiting behind me to get their kids.
I mean I filled in the form and said we wouldn't be attending so surely that's ok. So I hope it's really important, I attend everything the school has on even help in the class.
I felt really under pressure to go.

That sounds very odd indeed, compelling a parent to come to a very inconvenient meeting is poor organisation. If they need to see you, they ought to phone up and ask you to make an appointment after school at a time convenient to you.
So, I'd expect that whatever was said at the meeting to be absolutely vital, impossible to put off until next week.
And that in itself is wrong, no one should be hearing anything shocking at a primary school parents' evening, if there were problems they should be contacting you as soon as they arise, not saving them up.
Whatever the outcome, I'd be emailing a strongly-worded complaint, asking them what they thought they were doing and why.

I was angry and upset that I had to explain our lack of family and babysitters in earshot of everyone, and the deputy head was standing there agreeing with her, he was the one who said well you have to bring the children's then.

That is exactly my point fallen, if it's so serious I should have been told before and if not why the fuss.

Get your arse-kicking shoes on and go.

How can they insist you go?

I wouldn't take younger children to a parents' evening, if there is something important to say then they should at least try to fit you in at another time or maybe inform you by letter or email and leave it up to you to decide what action you need to take.

Very odd behaviour by the teacher

I'd not have agreed to go. Like you say, if it's something serious they should have told you sooner, if not then she could speak to you about it next week.

They can't make you turn up!

I know I don't want to take either of my children but have no choice, which is why thinking everything was ok at school with Ds said we couldn't make it. I know I won't be able to concentrate let alone any other parents disturbed by my 2 year old.

Absolutely they can't compel you to go. You could just refuse.
I'd go just to be loudly outraged at their incompetence.

She probably wants information about the new school so she can help prepare your child for the transition. Even if that's not what she wants to talk about, it sounds like she is being a good teacher, she's not trying to mess up your evening just for a cheap thrill.

Maybe her idea of what's important enough is different to your idea of what's important enough.

If there is something serious she should have asked you to come in at another time, but some schools try to avoid this as much as possible and keep these discussions to parents evening. There's nothing wrong with that, teachers have personal lives too.

You can't expect her to have said what she wants to say when you go in to help in class. That's class time when she needs to think about all the children, not your lack of babysitters on parents evening.

Have just found another note from teacher in the agenda written today saying there are no more parent teacher evenings and we must meet this evening it is VERY important underlined several times. So now should I be worried. I often ask her is everything going well with Ds and she always says yes fine.

That is a very late appointment.

I would be handing smaller, tired, grumpy child to the deputy head as you walk in.

I'm a teacher, Outraged. You don't treat parents like that unless it is a real emergency. There is nothing on your list that couldn't be dealt with next week after school.

You should have had an apponitment convenient for you IMO I hope your 2 year old kicks off !!

Sod official parents' evenings, you are entitled to ask for and get a meeting with your child's teacher at any mutually convenient time.
Now I'm irritated at the harassment on your behalf.

Absolutely teachers have personal lives too - DH is one - but you can't expect parents to be able to come in when it's not convenient any more than parents can expect teachers to be available for discussion at a moments notice.

Do you not have a friendly neighbour who could pop round and sit with your DC's for half an hour while you go? I agree with you that there shouldn't be anything too surprising at the parents evening but guess the teacher may want to discussion transition to secondary school or something.

I always used to fill in the request for appointments with the proviso that if they didn't give me one for after 4pm, I'd be bringing my class with me, so it was their choice.

She has information about new school already, she has time to talk to me about her holidays and her parents and her love of art and music during the week, so I really hope if there was something wrong she could have mentioned that too.

I think what you've been offered is unreasonable. I would put in writing to the head that the timeslot you've been offered means you will need to wake a younger child to go with you. I don't think this is at all fair on you or that child and I wouldn't do it if I were you - they're a school, and should be thinking about children's needs. If you wanted to, you could add that being questioned on your lack of family to babysit was thoughtless and upsetting. Then I would request a time suggested by you (give a few options). Good luck.

What list?

I don't see how OP has been treated badly though, she has just been told that the the teacher feels its important that they have a chat. There is no other reason that the teacher would want this except for the good of the child concerned.

We don't get to select an appointment they are just sent out. And I do value teachers time and often thank hear for the efforts she puts in etc, my mum was a teacher.

She's being hussled out of the evening routine for her younger children for no good reason, and she already explained that she couldn't sort out cover.
Why is that not acceptable to the school?