Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to dream of owning a large house, so the in-laws can come and live with us?

56 replies

lardylump · 11/05/2012 09:51

this is a dream, obviously, we dont have the money for a big enough house to include the inlaws each in thier own bedroom....

but...

I'm sitting here looking at the property pages and imagining who would go in which bedroom, and why this or that house would or wouldnt be suitable.

I feel crazy!

OP posts:
GoingToThePark · 11/05/2012 09:52

Ummm. Yes you must be on class a's.

Trills · 11/05/2012 09:52

YAB bonkers

HTH

QuintessentialShadows · 11/05/2012 09:53

Nuts
Focus your mind on something useful

shinybaubles · 11/05/2012 09:56

I have the same dream and would love a house with an annexe for them, when they retire next year we're going to start looking.

shinybaubles · 11/05/2012 09:56

Yanbu

Original poster
lardylump · 11/05/2012 09:59

ooh there is one in Brook.... only 1.1 million..... a substantial farmhouse with two self contained holiday cottages, 5 stables and a tack room, 7 acres divided into 2 paddocks!

I dont even ride!

OP posts:
shinybaubles · 11/05/2012 10:01

Not sure where Brook is but I did see a nice Georgian mansion with annexe and outbuilding but it's sold and I think it was about 700k - just freaming of course at this stage but I really wanted it. The annexe was as big as our house is now.

thebody · 11/05/2012 10:04

Lovely, wish my darling mil and fil were still alive, that would have been fantastic, my own parents not so much.

Original poster
lardylump · 11/05/2012 10:04

shinybaubles i know what you mean.... i just covet the idea of multi generational living. Plus these big houses are fab!

OP posts:
titfortat · 11/05/2012 10:05

Why would you want to live with your in laws?

I love mine. They are truly amazing and I get on brilliantly with them. But the only time anyone apart from my partner and children, will stay under my roof is short term when visiting or needing a roof over their head if god forbid anything happens to their own home.

Having family living with me, it just wouldn't feel like my home.

shinybaubles · 11/05/2012 10:10

When living in an annexe as in separate building in the grounds (that we don't have) you have your own space too, they have their own kitchen etc but are in easy reach. I love my family don't have much just did and bil and pils and would be very happy to have them all near me.

Original poster
lardylump · 11/05/2012 10:11

well MIL is going blind and has mobility problems.. she is 85
FIL is 86 and is running himself ragged trying to look after her.

they live about 20 mins drive from us. we see them every other day.

they are lovely, kind people who have enhanced my life through being in it. I have a dd whom they adore. I just think that it feels right that we are all together.

I dont want to see either of them in a care home, although both of them are quite accepting of the idea. I just think that it feels right that we are all together.

My parents live 300 miles away, and funnily enough would not extend the same opportunity to them. I'd like them to be closer, obviously, but in my dream, they live in a seperate annex, while PIL live in the main house with us.

OP posts:
titfortat · 11/05/2012 10:41

Ah, mine are only in their early 50's, I suppose I may feel different in another 30 years time about it.

Original poster
lardylump · 11/05/2012 11:05

My parents are in thier 70's so are still mobile, maybe i'll feel different about them in 10 years too!

OP posts:
typicalvirgo · 11/05/2012 11:06

Annexe all the way.

TheFogsGettingThicker · 11/05/2012 12:04

My MIL dreams of the Big House. I think they will have their daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren in one end, their son, myself and the DC in the other end. They would go in the middle. Or somethingBit frightened to go into details too much with her

We all get on well, so I let MIL dream. Bless her.

My mum and her partner clearly never entertained thoughts like that, as they have just moved 300 miles away and never bothered seeing them that much while they were a few miles away

YANBU, in your case

Lac365 · 11/05/2012 14:54

Tis a lovely thought and you are a lovely DIL.

I dream of a big house for my mum and dad to come and stay with us. They are in their sixties but have health issues.
It's a worry isn't it.

Geranium3 · 11/05/2012 15:19

AIBU to dream of owning a teeny tiny house so the in-laws can't ever live with us?!!!!!

Original poster
lardylump · 12/05/2012 17:54

each to his own!

OP posts:
VivaLeBeaver · 12/05/2012 17:57

I bought a house with no spare bedroom so we don't have to have overnight guests!

EdlessAllenPoe · 12/05/2012 18:18

i actually had the possibility of more IL visits down as a negative of buying a larger house. Our house is floor space only for guests.

YANBU and very nice.

SugarPasteHedgehog · 12/05/2012 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsKittyFane · 12/05/2012 21:54

I want to live with my whole extended family here
YANBU

Original poster
lardylump · 14/05/2012 21:27

that is a very lovley house msKittyFane.

would your extended family be able to help you run a place like that, cos in my situation i'd have to run the whole household. and thats rather too much for me.

OP posts:
Devilforasideboard · 14/05/2012 21:29

If you get a big enough place can my in-laws come and live with you as well?