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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to dream of owning a large house, so the in-laws can come and live with us?

56 replies

lardylump · 11/05/2012 09:51

this is a dream, obviously, we dont have the money for a big enough house to include the inlaws each in thier own bedroom....

but...

I'm sitting here looking at the property pages and imagining who would go in which bedroom, and why this or that house would or wouldnt be suitable.

I feel crazy!

OP posts:
mumblechum1 · 14/05/2012 21:31

I just don't understand how anyone could have their extended family living in their house.

We have a 5 (6 if you count dh's study) bedroomed house, one child and that's about right. MIL has visited once in 13 years.

I do like having people for the weekend in theory but by Sunday morning I want them to bugger off.Grin

Original poster
lardylump · 14/05/2012 21:43

mumble they will soon be unable to care for themselves and I cant bear the thought of them in nursing homes. i want them to be close so that I can support them.

I dont see how this is weird.

PS this will NEVER happen, because we dont have the funds, but it doesnt stop me dreaming about it

OP posts:
PeppermintLatte · 14/05/2012 21:45

i think it's lovely you feel that way! i, on the other hand, don't feel that way. i wouldn't like anyone living with us, i value my personal space too much, i would however take care of my own parents and inlaws to the best of my ability, in their own homes!

MarianForrester · 14/05/2012 21:47

You can have my big house for only £300kSmile

QueenMaeve · 14/05/2012 21:48

yabu. seeing inlaws in the same sentence as 'living with us' instantly makes you unreasonable

mumblechum1 · 14/05/2012 21:49

It is very nice of you, Lardy, but I would go nuts if I had to share a house with my MIL or my mum.

My dad is cool though, I wouldn't mind him coming to stay. He'd just sitting footy all day and fix stuff.

Original poster
lardylump · 14/05/2012 21:49

i suppose it depends on your inlaws!
I would have the inlaws to live with us in a heartbeat...
however there is a reason why my lot are called the outlaws!

OP posts:
mumblechum1 · 14/05/2012 21:51

My MIL has been in and out of secure psychiatric hospitals for years, sadly, so it's a bit different from the usual MIL situations you see on MN (giving grandchildren chocolate etc)

ledkr · 14/05/2012 21:55

Oh thats got me thinking now.How id love to live a life of sensible drinking,no swearing,noisy sex or my own opinions and id simply love to have to cook 3x a day whilst they sit on there boney arses.

blapbird · 14/05/2012 21:57

I think that is a lovely idea and it's nice to see that attitude for once, I wish for the same thing.

Original poster
lardylump · 15/05/2012 22:06

ledkr that made me laugh!

we never swear in our house anyway, so no need to curb there, although when i see MY family I do come over all sweary but that soon passes.

We drink on special occasions, so nothing to give up there,

they are both deaf so noisy sex is still on ( well, as noisy as you can be with a 8 yr old in the next room)

I have to cook for us so adding 2 extra meals is no problem at all.

agreed they will be sitting on thier bony arses, but mine is well padded and could do with the exercise TBH.

I will also take comfort for taking care of people who are too old and infirm to take care of themselves.... why should i rely on the state to look after them if i am willing and able to do it?

OP posts:
DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 15/05/2012 22:09

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Grin You're kidding? Confused

tbf, KI wouldn't want to live with my own parents either.

Original poster
lardylump · 15/05/2012 22:13

no i'm serius!

I'd love to... it would suit us, i know it wouldnt suit everyone, but ey we are a little different!

I just wish i could afford a house big enough to put us all in. I couldnt do it in a little tiny house where we were all on top of each other. A bedroom each would be big enough ( of course me and DH can share... but only when he isnt snoring!!!!)

OP posts:
Tannhauser · 15/05/2012 22:26

Where do you live Marian?

Original poster
lardylump · 15/05/2012 22:34

who is Marian?

OP posts:
Katz · 15/05/2012 22:39

Could you pool resources with the in-laws, do they own their house?

Original poster
lardylump · 15/05/2012 22:40

yes they do, but they wouldnt be able to do this due to family politics.

I was on rightmove again today....

OP posts:
Katz · 15/05/2012 22:44

Family politics ain't fun - but their care could quite easily eat up the house meaning there would be nothing to inherit.

Sadly I don't have any inlaws, but I think what you want to do is fab

WhereMyMilk · 15/05/2012 22:44

My lovely inlaws have just bought a house 2mins walk away! I am delighted:)

LulaPalooza · 15/05/2012 22:45

lardy, I do the same. Every time I watch Grand Designs I end up thinking about the house I would build to house us, my inlaws and various extended family, my Mum and Step Dad... then I feel guilty because my Dad couldn't live there as he hates my Mum :(

Eventually me and Mr Palooza want to build a big house in South Africa, big enough for all of us to live together without living in each other's pockets. His family - Mum, Dad, DSS, sister, sister's husband, brother, brother's girlfriend, brother's son, uncle and a lodger - already live in a large-ish house in SA and it's wodnerful when we visit. There are people in and out of the house almost constantly and it's joyous... but it can get a bit busy and mad due to lack of space (despite 7 bedrooms and 3 living rooms) and it is quite run down. I would like to pull the whole thing down and re-build, or preferably buy a big plot of land and build a sustainable, family friendly house.

Dunno what to do about Dad though.

MuddyDogs · 15/05/2012 22:46

I dream of that house with the Granny annexe on Location, Location...from the episode with the two doctors (Artie and Andy?) Would love to put my inlaws in there so we could see them more often and help take care of poorly FIL and enjoy free babysitting from MIL who lives to do Grandmotherly things with my DC.

LulaPalooza · 15/05/2012 22:47

lardy - marian offered you her big house for £300k up thread ^^

Original poster
lardylump · 15/05/2012 22:48

oops sorry, so she did!

OP posts:
MarianForrester · 15/05/2012 23:11

Southern Scotland

Tannhauser · 15/05/2012 23:51

Ah... a little too far for our commute I'm afraid! Grin