Thankyou for all your comments ladies. Certainly helped me realise IANBU. Just to confirm the anxiety thing is all very strange and one which I have the upmost sympathy and respect for having suffered with anxiety & depression myself. It became very apparent when we were together that these 'attacks' only came on when I wasn't paying enough attention to what he wanted. The one in the hospital he said was because he was worried about the way that my parents have reacted to my pregnancy. Which was understandably with concern. When I found him outside he was still having a 'panic attack' saying he couldn't breathe but was smoking a cigarette. I really hate to say it but I really think he's faking it hence why I have no sympathy as I feel he is taking the mickey out of genuine sufferers.
His overall behaviour is really strange. I unfortunately found out too late that he was a complete loser and actually sat down with him to talk over my concerns and how I felt just 24 hours before I found out I was pregnant. During that conversation I asked him to contribute towards the household bills as he had moved into my home, He refused saying that if I had been able to afford it before he lived there then what was the difference now? When I told him the next day that I was pregnant he said, "Well that explains your completely unreasonable behaviour last night". I tried to make it work as I believe strongly that a baby needs a mother and a father. It was just very hard with someone that can lie and manipulate as easily as he can.
Incidentally I know I should have used protection and feel so daft for saying it but at 34 and having been told it was very unlikely that I would fall pregnant due to health problems I really thought I couldn't conceive.
Because of my values I desperately want him to be involved with our child and do not want to deprive him but his behaviour is becoming increasingly erratic and he is refusing to contribute financially. He has 2 children from a previous relationship who he does not provide for and sees them once a week yet complains that he misses them. His ex partner will allow more visitation but he refuses as it will cost too much in petrol to drive the half hour to see them. His lies have included ones about his sons behaviour, he claimed that the school had requested an urgent meeting as his son was bursting into tears at school. It turned out to be a complete lie. Who does that?
I asked why he wanted the two weeks off for paternity leave and what he planned to do with it, he said he needed it to catch up on his sleep as he was exhausted. Admittedly he does work hard and runs his own shop during the day and works at a supermarket at night. So he will still be working during the day.
I've told him when appointments and scans are happening and he has failed to turn up or even ask how they went, yet will text weekly to ask what I have been up to. TBH I am so confused as to what he actually wants as when I ask he wants to be involved with the baby yet he will not financially contribute and only wants access on a Sunday to combine with his other two children. Oh that and Christmas day.
Sorry for long post put I just wanted to try and clarify a few points, though it's just confused me even more!
Thank-you for all your support