I dont always make "excuses" either 2shoes ..... after 35 plus years of experiencing the full range of how some people without disabilities react to those with a range of disabilities in a personal as well as professional capacity I can still react with anger to those who make crass remarks or who do the "does he take sugar" stuff. I am an "auntie" and surrogate mum and friend to several people with various disabilities ( and have experienced mental illness myself as well as supporting other family members with OCD and mental illness) and can get very aware / protective.
However I do still try to understand when perhaps people do just not know or understand about a condition and are apprehensive. eg,, how can you tell whether someone next to you says "f* off you b* " for no apparent reason has tourettes or is just being obnoxious (or might even get violent if you dont move). Because I have an awareness of tourettes ( see / hear the tics most days at work) I might make a quick assessment of the context and manner of the person saying it and either just ignore it ..... say hello if I know the person ..... or get the f** out of there and call the police. I can understand others not being able to make that judgment about the person "not meaning it" and be apprehensive.
If their only "knowledge" / awareness of schizophrenia is programmes on tv, both factual and drama, that involves violent attacks by people with schizophrenia then maybe its a little understandable that there is apprehension present and that it will remain until the person is helped to understand that the truth is much different. People are only usually motivated to find out about conditions if they meet or know someone with that condition and that the experience has been either different than they expected in a positive way or a good experience they want to expand on.
Culture ......
I think when I say culture is relevant I am not relating it only to which country a person is brought up but to the environment and the belief systems in the community around as a person grows up. We have many cultures within the uk... and sub cultures.
as defined in a dictionary
...the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group: the youth culture; the drug culture.
There are times here on MN when we all agree that the environment in which a child has grown up affects their belief systems in a way that might be a bit skewed / not in line with reality and rather than lable / blame that person we aim to help that person to understand and change perceptions.
I grew up in sub culture of not only an ethos where women were "barefoot and pregnant and at the kitchen sink" men could more or less do what they wanted, including abuse, and because DM "had made her bed so must lie in it" she stayed. Add mni culture of paedophilia where my experiences / thoughts were that all men were the same and that girls / women could do nothing about it. We were also very poor, living on state handouts most of the time, with little encouragement to think of more. No TV in my house ( I only knew one person with one) to give us a glimpse of a life that was different.
If I had maintained my adulthood with a hatred of men.... or conversly even a hatred of women (because in my eyes my DM did not only not protect me she did not believe me when I eventually told her) ..... I know here on MN I would be accorded the utmost understanding and been supported in changing my perceptions.
Actually I dont hate men or women because I now know not all men are warped / abusive and I know about learned helplessness as well as dissociation etc etc etc. I understand a lot more. People took the time to help me learn that.
The culture in that instance is a (sub) social one that is not the norm in the UK as far as I am aware yet it could have shaped / warped my belief system towards members of our society That example is extreme I know but we do not know the ops's wifes culture and some countries / cultures / religions do have very different opinions /fears / attitudes to disabilities. I have been involved with some families where the parents love their child ( who has a disabilty) very, very much but are caught up in conflicting emotions because of not only their own previous preconceptions and cultural beliefs but the pressures from family / relatives / community.
So if someone grew up in any culture where persons with disabilities were seen as "different" ...... or even a different generation.... they may not be deliberately / consciously intolerant ( which is what a bigot is). I have seen it happen here on MN where people who have made comments that showed a lack of understanding have, though discussion, changed their attitudes. Can the OP 's wife not have that chance ... from what he says she is not being deliberatly abusive towards disabilities.