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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to go on the warpath over something this teacher said.

129 replies

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 09/05/2012 16:34

This happened last week but I only heard about it today.

DD1 takes German with the DD of a friend. Today I was at this friends for coffee and she asked me if my DD had told me about something that had happened in German last week. DD hadn't, so my friend informed me that according to her DD, the German teacher was poking fun at people with Aspergers, referring to them as retards and slagging off a 'friend' of his who has Aspergers, and reading out texts this friend had sent him encouraging the children to laugh at this poor bloke. He also referred to Aspergers as a disease of the brain.

I have spoken to DD and she confirms that this happened and said she wasn't comfortable at all because her brother, DS1 has Aspergers. DS1 as it happens, also has this teacher for German

It happened last week, but WIBU to make a big fuss to the school over this?

OP posts:

doormat · 09/05/2012 20:42

fallen you spout off re-education...how much more educated does this man need, he has trained to be a teacher, sat exams, wrote reports, critically and analylitically and you can say re-educate...do you mean to tell me this is becoming more common, that teachers are being trained ineffectively and attitudes towards prejudice and without inclusiveness...perleeeaaaassseee

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 09/05/2012 20:44

Unbelievable and unbelievably stupid! What an idiot.

Your SIL is as much of a twat as he is, if she thinks you 'shouldn't be trying to get him in trouble' - how bloody idiotic and childish.

Head Teacher - ASAP would be my advice!

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 09/05/2012 20:46

Absolutely he needs re-educating... something where he has very little contact with people & none with children!

FallenCaryatid · 09/05/2012 20:47

Wow you are rude doormat.
No, I am always filled with hope that the stupid and ignorant can change, That includes a lot of the parents I've dealt with over the years as a teacher.

FallenCaryatid · 09/05/2012 20:48

It is becoming more common that this behaviour is found unacceptable by more and more people, which is good because the situation towards those with disabilities in this society has been crap for a long time.

doormat · 09/05/2012 20:56

fallen i am not rude, i am straight talking..and i am a great believer in children, young ppl and adults in this world being treated with respect.....this is the problem with alot of teachers, forever covering backs when they have acted in an unprofessional manner..he is supposed to be in a position of trust......he cant be trusted near any children, with remarks like that....sorry but i cant understand how you can defend such a lowlife...

FallenCaryatid · 09/05/2012 20:57

Am I defending him?

doormat · 09/05/2012 21:03

yes by actually talking about re-educating him...and to give him a chance...he doesnt deserve it...

todays society doesnt cater for bigoted, disrespectful, ignorant ppl like him...he should of been taught these fundamentals in teacher training ...obviously not

ilovesooty · 09/05/2012 21:16

I don't see the necessity of firing off letters to the LA and MP before the HT's been given the opportunity to investigate (as s/he should).

doormat · 09/05/2012 21:23

evidence though sooty, that something is amiss with his teaching and his ethics...and so the head cant brush it under the carpet...and ermm papers, letters cant be lost nor forgotten about

ilovesooty · 09/05/2012 21:30

Sorry, IMO if the HT's response is unsatisfactory, then one escalates matters if necessary. The Head should be given the opportunity to investigate first.

morethanpotatoprints · 09/05/2012 21:39

My son was pinned against the wall by a teacher for playful rough and tumble with his friend. I reported it, head of year, then head teacher. They all denied it took place. Even had friends/class to back him up.
You need as many people to back up your claim and exactly what was done. I.e so they can't claim this teachers act was open to interpretation.
I would see the head not the teacher as it gives him time to concoct a story in defence.
This is absolutely unbelievable. I thought behaviour like this was resigned to education in the 1970's.

igggi · 09/05/2012 22:42

Him using the mobile in class is neither here nor there and you'd look silly to include that in the complaint (I know OP hasn't suggested doing so). If he had been reading out texts from a German friend for example, that could be very educational.
If we can't aim to rehabilitate someone, what can we aim for? Should we shoot him?

morethanpotatoprints · 09/05/2012 22:58

Igggi, you have a point about rehabilitation but this mans behaviour was out of order. I can remember a life of misery from school days with comments from teachers about people many referred to as thick, stupid and other words that were out lawed thank God. Society is more aware of learning difficulties and disorders now and we are supposed to be inclusive. I and no doubt many others were emotionally scarred for life and that is no exageration. Even with rehabilitation who knows whether this persons attitude would change. Part of me says not, because if he is not able to see his behaviour as wrong in this day and age, well he shouldn't be in the profession.

morethanpotatoprints · 09/05/2012 23:04

In addition, I know the op was only quoting but the R word used was one of the first to be considered as offensive. A word I got to know quite well from the age of 5 until walking out of school at 14.
Sorry to go on but I feel slightly more relieved now, more therapy!
Please op and anybody else who knows somebody like this, you have to do something to stop children being abused and bullied it is wrong. Somebody in his class could just have had a diagnosis or be going through assessment.

igggi · 09/05/2012 23:07

I totally agree the behaviour was out of order, I've advocated the op making formal complaint to the head about it. I don't agree that everyone already knows what's ok or not without any training, especially as popular culture seems to promote idea that we can laugh at certain disabilities (Ricky Gervais springing to mind!)

GinPalace · 09/05/2012 23:11

Wow. What an irresponsible and hideous thing to say!

Wouldn't surprise me if children didn't complain even if they have brother with AS. We had a music teacher at school who groped the girls regularly for years - not one as far as I knew complained including me. Children don't necessarily see it as natural to complain against an authority figure.

The other teachers may well (and should be) as repulsed by his attitude as the next person so not take it out on the kids.

Definitely formal complaint to school - they can then hear his side and decide what to do - if you hear him weasle out of it it would be very difficult to take it further then, as you would have to try harder to make the point.

Let the school investigate. I would want a full report back too. for you and your ds and dd.

Peachy · 10/05/2012 13:42

Horrible' amd of course they didn't complain- school is after all as much about educating kids not to complain to authority figures as it is teaching them to add up!.

I'd go in officially and in a measured way, but the teacher would end up unemployed by the time I finished.

Original poster

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 11/05/2012 12:09

email sent

OP posts:

cory · 11/05/2012 14:26

I wish I'd had FallenCaryatid around when all the nasty stuff was happening to dd at school; we would have handled it totally differently.

Looking back I am totally aghast at what we put up with, what staff were not ashamed to say in front of us, what dd never reported until afterwards had been said and done, what her friends never reported.

Peachy is spot on, of course: "good" children are brought up not to question authority figures; unless they have a strongly rebelllious streak (as I had) the kindest and most caring students are going to be the least likely to complain of a teacher who oversteps the boundaries.

Original poster

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 17/05/2012 20:57

bumping this because I've received a reply from the school. This is the conclusion they've reached.

''I have investigated the incident you refer to and am sure that the incident was borne out of mis-understanding rather than malice or inappropriate behaviour from Mr XXXXX. As is illustrated by his great regard and support of his friend, Mr XXXXX has a great deal of empathy and understanding of the problems and often prejudice faced by people with Autistic Spectrum Disorders. He was in fact attempting to point out to students through personal experience the folly of attaching ridiculous labels such as 'retarded' to behaviour typical of people with Autistic Spectrum Disorders. ''

He didn't ask either DD1 or her class mate what happened, apparently only spoke to the teacher in question. My DD hasn't had a chance to have a look at the reply, but my friend has just sent me a message and her daughter is adamant that the teacher was making fun out of his 'friend'.

Is it the governors now?

OP posts:

Dozer · 17/05/2012 21:04

That response sounds poor IMO.

Original poster

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 17/05/2012 21:11

Yeah, I've been fobbed off.

OP posts:

lionheart · 17/05/2012 21:40

The HT can't honestly believe that you would find that an acceptable response, surely? It's effectively saying that "Since the teacher is question says it was a misunderstanding, both your duaghter and you have got the wrong end of the stick."

Have you got a plan B, OP?

Dozer · 17/05/2012 21:59

I would take this to whatever the next stage of the procedure is. The head should at least have spoken to some of the students.

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