Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go on the warpath over something this teacher said.

129 replies

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 09/05/2012 16:34

This happened last week but I only heard about it today.

DD1 takes German with the DD of a friend. Today I was at this friends for coffee and she asked me if my DD had told me about something that had happened in German last week. DD hadn't, so my friend informed me that according to her DD, the German teacher was poking fun at people with Aspergers, referring to them as retards and slagging off a 'friend' of his who has Aspergers, and reading out texts this friend had sent him encouraging the children to laugh at this poor bloke. He also referred to Aspergers as a disease of the brain.

I have spoken to DD and she confirms that this happened and said she wasn't comfortable at all because her brother, DS1 has Aspergers. DS1 as it happens, also has this teacher for German

It happened last week, but WIBU to make a big fuss to the school over this?

OP posts:
IslaValargeone · 09/05/2012 18:44

You have a son with Aspergers and your dd didn't feel the need to tell you at the time, that her teacher was using the term 'retard' to describe people with AS?

MilitaryWag · 09/05/2012 18:45

DogEared
Um...... that was not what I was commenting on.
It was this but i''d rapidly escalate to full blown blazing state very quickly

FallenCaryatid has nailed it really. That is how to deal with issues in a school

ABatInBunkFive · 09/05/2012 18:45

Militarywag - do you think you know me or something?

I am indeed chuffed that i wont accept any old shit thrown at me from a school, as well i should be.

Seems your interpritation is different from mine and everyone elses Hmm

FallenCaryatid · 09/05/2012 18:45

Oh I agree, teachers are very good at making an angry, ranting or distressed parent feel that they are in the wrong and irrational. It is in the best interests of management to not have to deal with a serious issue like this as it is time-consuming and embarrassing for them and their public profile. Far easier to make it a joke that went wrong and a SOH failure on the part of the parent. Or a misinterpretation by the child.
Which is why you need evidence and a problem-solving approach.

ABatInBunkFive · 09/05/2012 18:48

Just to set the crazy record straight I would not be shouting the odds but if i felt i was being given the brush off i would indeed make them completely aware that i was not going to be fobbed off.

Apparently nailing their feet to the floor is a more acceptable term i shall use that next time.

FallenCaryatid · 09/05/2012 18:48

'You have a son with Aspergers and your dd didn't feel the need to tell you at the time, that her teacher was using the term 'retard' to describe people with AS?'

Do you have any idea how complicated the life of a sibling of a child with a disability can be, and how often they hear that term launched at them about their brother or sister?
And how weary and depressed they can get when even the adults they are supposed to respect use it? The DD probably felt as powerless and hurt as many of us parents do.

DogEared · 09/05/2012 18:49

rapidly escalate to full blown blazing state very quickly to me read as she would make it quite clear if need be that she would not be fobbed off about this issue. I don't know, maybe Bat is a psycho who screams at headteachers, but that's not what I got from that sentence.

MilitaryWag · 09/05/2012 18:49

ABatInBunkFive
Obviously not.
I am simply responding to a comment you have made on a public forum.
Is this not permitted?
The fact that my interpretation differs from yours and others is neither here nor there. I am simply putting forward my perspective, as you have.
The pitfalls of communication in this manner.

DogEared · 09/05/2012 18:50

x-post bat :o

IslaValargeone · 09/05/2012 18:51

I'm not suggesting she would have spoken up in class, but I do find it surprising that she didn't mention it to her mum.
And yes, I do know how how complicated the life of a sibling of a child with a disability can be.

MilitaryWag · 09/05/2012 18:52

ABatInBunkFive
I do believe 'nail their feet to the floor' had a second part to the sentence which was 'with reasoned argument and references to the school's policy on disability'
I believe that is a metaphor although I could be wrong Confused

catgirl1976 · 09/05/2012 18:53

MilitaryWag I do get the impression you are the shouty type. But not abatbunk.

Not a clue why - I don't know either of you but you both come across very differently

FallenCaryatid · 09/05/2012 18:55

Nailing their feet to the floor stops the sideways slithering and the fancy two-step they do to deflect the problem I find. Grin
Plus it's easier to hit them with the SENCOP, disabilities discrimination language and their own code of behaviour and policies against prejudice that they all agreed and signed up to.
But then, my son is 17 and I've been a teacher longer than that. I've refined the techniques over the decades.
You go for it OP. The teacher thinks he's being witty and making friends. He's creating an unacceptable climate in the classes he teaches.

catgirl1976 · 09/05/2012 18:55

It's not a metaphor - you are in fact wrong

FallenCaryatid · 09/05/2012 18:55

It has been a metaphorical phrase so far...

MilitaryWag · 09/05/2012 18:58

catgirl1976
Um... Hmm
Not quite sure how to respond to that.
The 'shouty type'?
Hmmm..... interesting if rather absurd.
But as I have said previously, you are entitled to your opinion. But I am sure Bat will appreciate that you do not view her a 'shouty type'

Salmotrutta · 09/05/2012 18:59

FallenCaryatid has absolutely the correct approach. Follow her advice. Marshall your evidence and your arguments.

I do have to wonder at the utter stupidity (even if the teacher does harbour these thoughts) of a teacher actually doing this and thinking someone was not going to tell?
And I absolutely agree that there is almost always an outspoken teenager in every class who would pipe up with "You can't say that Sir!!" - really surprising that didn't happen.

MilitaryWag · 09/05/2012 18:59

catgirl1976
Thank you for pointing out my obvious error.
I am sure you were delighted to do that Smile

MilitaryWag · 09/05/2012 19:01

Salmotrutta
It happens from time to time. Am wondering if they are actually German and so not clued up on appropriate language in UK schools or perhaps an inexperienced teacher/NQT

catgirl1976 · 09/05/2012 19:03

No probs :)

Salmotrutta · 09/05/2012 19:15

Well, an inexperienced student/NQT should still presumably have had all the training about inclusion, appropriate behaviour etc. Military and if the teacher is actually German he'd better get some swift updating on what is and isn't acceptable.
I've never heard of a colleague behaving like this - in the bad old days, maybe, when I was at school (neolithic times Grin).

EclecticShock · 09/05/2012 19:24

Completely agree with FallenCaryatid too.

Original poster
SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 09/05/2012 19:25

''You have a son with Aspergers and your dd didn't feel the need to tell you at the time, that her teacher was using the term 'retard' to describe people with AS?''

Apparently so.

FallenCaryatid thanks for the tips. I'll email as it's faster.

OP posts:
MilitaryWag · 09/05/2012 19:31

Salmotrutta
The good old days!
I used to suffer a ritualistic humiliation every lesson with my Maths teacher. I never got over it and still think I am a chump when it comes to maths
PGCE training does cover all of the usual about behaving in a professional way but the course is short and pretty intense and alot is covered. Lip service is paid to it I guess with the rest being learnt on the job so to say. We recently had a trainee make a rather dodgy comment but more because he just didnt engage his brain before he opened his mouth! He learnt from that mistake though.

ABatInBunkFive · 09/05/2012 19:34

I wouldn't have thought that kind of behaviour would be any more acceptable in Germany tbh. If it is i'd love to know so i can strike it off my list of places to go on holiday. Blazing guns are rather difficult to get through customs.

Dog - you read it the way it was intended Smile

cat - My DCs would probably beg to differ, but i've never yet shouted at a head teacher despite plenty provocation, still there is time. Wink

Grin @ all the animals.