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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To resent the family with four cars?

156 replies

Gentleness · 08/05/2012 22:22

Road of almost all terraced houses though theirs is a semi. The road space outside each house is the same - 1.5 cars max. We have one car for a family of four and another baby maybe on the way. They have a family of four, 2 adult children and a car each. AND 2 of the cars are long sedans. I can understand the need for a car each but surely they should take that into account when choosing where to park on a busy road. They're all lovely apart from one who can't bear to even smile at anyone, never mind chat, and all of them except her do try really hard to leave us a space outside our house. But when we or one of us goes out in evenings, sometimes we can't even park on our road which leaves me in an awkward spot the next morning with the kids - a baby and a toddler.

The other day the mum said, "It's frustrating the parking on this road isn't it. It's really hard for us with four cars!" Given none of them ever leave the house in the evening so are parked up nicely overnight right by their house by 5pm, and they have 1 person to a car, I just about managed to splutter politely that with our ONE car for 4, we can't always park on our own road which is hard with the kids. I so wanted to rant and it's been picking at my mind ever since.

So AIBU to reckon they should consider the rest of the residents and expect to park at least one of their cars further away. Even rent a garage. Not from any legal obligation, just from moral kindness. Or the "kids" could actually leave home!

OP posts:
IneedAbetterNicknameIn2012 · 09/05/2012 00:56

Not necessarily Krumbum up until recently there were 4 cars outside my Dads house. His, his wifes, step-bros and step-sis'. The house belongs to my step-Mum, Dad has crap credit rating so prob wouldn't get a mortgage. SS and SB were (and now have) planning on moving out and therefore wouldn't, and shouldn't have to, pay towards a mortgage on a house they weren't planning on staying in. So just because they could afford to run 4 cars, they weren't in a position to move house!

Krumbum · 09/05/2012 00:58

What the op does with her car is no less important than what you are speculating the 4 neighbours do with theirs. No need to be patronising.

WorraLiberty · 09/05/2012 01:00

needsavino could you be a love and put some mood music on for us?

I suggest 'Baby you can drive my car' by the Beatles Grin

Just don't fucking park it in the OP's street....

bogeyface · 09/05/2012 01:03

I was thinking that was better mood music for you Worra!

GrahamTribe · 09/05/2012 01:04

Not "Get Out Of My Car (And Into My Dreams)"? Or what's that song by Dexy's? You know, the one that goes, "Excuse me please, you're standing in my space"?

I luffs Worra, I does.

needsavino · 09/05/2012 01:04

I don't drive but dh does and we live in a terrace and you do have certain houses that take over the street. It is annoying but there is nothing that can be done. Best grit your teeth. You don't deserve the flaming your getting. Will think of you next time dh swears about it

needsavino · 09/05/2012 01:06

I was thinking drive in Saturday by bowie-proper lust song

WorraLiberty · 09/05/2012 01:11
Grin
bogeyface · 09/05/2012 01:29
PinkFondantFancy · 09/05/2012 01:46

I haven't read the whole thread but I live on a terraced street where there are fewer car parking spaces than there are houses. Lots of houses have more than one car so parking is a nightmare, especially in the evening. You need a permit to park on the street and the permit coats much more for each house's 2nd and 3rd cars. However, this doesn't stop people, as if you're a couple and both work in different directions, you need 2 cars.

PinkFondantFancy · 09/05/2012 01:47

costs

Original poster
Gentleness · 09/05/2012 04:11

Thanks to all those who bothered to read the original post properly. I'm only sorry I got drawn into trying to clarify for those who didn't, or didn't want to.

Fwiw it was useful setting most responses and I do see it's unreasonable of me to resent this family, but not unreasonable to be irritated by the effect their choices have. Glad to see I'm not alone in that tho obviously I do need to get rid of the resentment.

Mostly I'm Hmm at those who think turning down a dream job (part time teacher for me!) would harm my kids opportunities in life and who think we must be wealthy for me to be a sahm - oh, and can't see the benefits of saving a windfall for a goal. Your life must be soooo different to mine.

Sigh, wonder if the vomiting toddler clear up has ruined sleep for tonight - that'll make the morning's rigmarole of getting the family and baggage safely into a car parked a mile away even more exciting. If you've never done that after a sleepless vomit- filled night, you'll never get why irritation tends to rise....

OP posts:
TapirBackRider · 09/05/2012 05:19

Come and live near me - one of my neighbours has 7 - yes SEVEN vehicles between two adults; all of them roadworthy, taxed and insured. They've taken over the small parking area opposite our house, and despite the council's best efforts, have no intention of shifting.

YANBU.

halcyondays · 09/05/2012 08:19

Where on earth are you going with a baby and toddler after a sleepless vomit filled night?

YonWhaleFish · 09/05/2012 08:27

This is an AIBU purely about cars per house on a terraced road, not whether mums have the right to park so they can safely manage their children.

knowitallstrikesagain · 09/05/2012 08:36

Some people don't have a car at all and have to use public transport to transport vommy toddlers, baggage, the lot. And have to walk a long way to get that transport. Maybe you could consider doing that instead?

Am a little surprised that your dream job is part time teacher. I don't know anyone else who would pick this job if they could have a 'dream' job.

But I do hope your DC is feeling better.

AlphabetAppleTree · 09/05/2012 08:54

I understand your frustration too. I also live on a busy road where a child was killed a number of years ago and where there is a 30 mph speed limit which is never adhered too. If I cant park outside my house and have to park across the road I have to get four small children safely across plus bags etc and as one of mine has adhd and one is a two year old it makes it frightening.

I also live in a council house so I dont have a choice to live there and no amount of campaigns in the community will give us speed bumps so I just have to manage.

I do have a good neighbour though who also own four cars, she will never park in front of my house and shouts at her adult kids if they park in front of my house and makes them move! In return I will never park in her spot either.

nothing I can do about other parkers though. I dont think its unreasonabe for neighbours to be considerate and think there should be more of it but it does sound as if the op neighbours already are if they are leaving her a space

theodorakis · 09/05/2012 09:00

You coose to live in a place with crap parking and you choose to have loads of kids. As an adult, your choice. if you don't like it, move to a house that has a drive.Sorry but people really annoy me when they want the sweetie little edwardian terrace and then moan about the parking. Also, I can't bear the thought of claustrophobic naighbours making out i am weird if I don't want to chat to them. they have no obligation to befriend you or sell their cars because you chose to have lots of kids. leave them alone.

bewitchedandbewildered · 09/05/2012 09:49

I've not read all the replies to this thread, but....road tax! As long as they've paid their road tax and aren't breaking any laws they have the same right as you to park where is convenient for them.

What's with this sense of entitlement just because your kids are small and your neighbour's kids are grown?

You do not have special concessions simply because you have gone forth and multiplied.

Paiviaso · 09/05/2012 10:25

YABU, and very entitled.

BumpingFuglies · 09/05/2012 10:56

Am a little surprised that your dream job is part time teacher. I don't know anyone else who would pick this job if they could have a 'dream' job.

Was that really necessary knowitall?

vivandtom · 09/05/2012 11:33

YANBU at all to resent the family scattering their four cars about your street.

That would really annoy me too.

I used to have a driveway which assholes endlessly parked in front of, blocking me in and out - so just ended up parking in front of my empty driveway myself (whenever it wasn't blocked) - I didn't just go and park in front of other people's drives though.

You would be being unreasonable (or unrealistic - but you know this already) if you expected society/the council/the family to do anything about it though.

So many people are really bitter because you are a SAHM - what anger and resentment!

Hell is other people.

bewitchedandbewildered · 09/05/2012 11:46

"So many people are really bitter because you are a SAHM - what anger and resentment!"

Huh? That was a space ball.

LieInsAreRarerThanTigers · 09/05/2012 11:51

YANBU - cars are bad and they should get pushbikes.
Only slightly joking.

theodorakis · 09/05/2012 12:35

Stay at home or work on the moon as far as I'm concerned.