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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To resent the family with four cars?

156 replies

Gentleness · 08/05/2012 22:22

Road of almost all terraced houses though theirs is a semi. The road space outside each house is the same - 1.5 cars max. We have one car for a family of four and another baby maybe on the way. They have a family of four, 2 adult children and a car each. AND 2 of the cars are long sedans. I can understand the need for a car each but surely they should take that into account when choosing where to park on a busy road. They're all lovely apart from one who can't bear to even smile at anyone, never mind chat, and all of them except her do try really hard to leave us a space outside our house. But when we or one of us goes out in evenings, sometimes we can't even park on our road which leaves me in an awkward spot the next morning with the kids - a baby and a toddler.

The other day the mum said, "It's frustrating the parking on this road isn't it. It's really hard for us with four cars!" Given none of them ever leave the house in the evening so are parked up nicely overnight right by their house by 5pm, and they have 1 person to a car, I just about managed to splutter politely that with our ONE car for 4, we can't always park on our own road which is hard with the kids. I so wanted to rant and it's been picking at my mind ever since.

So AIBU to reckon they should consider the rest of the residents and expect to park at least one of their cars further away. Even rent a garage. Not from any legal obligation, just from moral kindness. Or the "kids" could actually leave home!

OP posts:
McHappyPants2012 · 08/05/2012 23:49

I have become a better driving since moving here, in my flat parking wasn't a problem, now it is I have learnt how to reverse park in the most difficult spots

bogeyface · 08/05/2012 23:51

So the people with 4 cars leave space for you to park, and yet you still resent them.

Why?

Empusa · 08/05/2012 23:53

"I don't know anyone who has more cars than they need"

Our neighbour (single man) has 4 vehicles!! It wouldn't be so bad if
a) he could park well
b) he wasn't such an awful driver that he was constantly scraping against other people's cars

GrahamTribe · 08/05/2012 23:57

"I don't want a family dynamic that doesn't care about others. So yes, it would still be a factor - one of many. Why not? Or is it always someone else's responsibility to think of others?"

Well then I suggest that you carry on nurtuting your own family dynamics and allow the neighbours to carry on nurtuting theirs.

EchoBitch · 08/05/2012 23:58

It's the dropped kerbs that naff me off.

They park on their hardstanding,then park their second car (and third if it's a small car) on the white line therefore getting a free parking slot right in front of their house forever.

Pendeen · 09/05/2012 00:00

"... AND 2 of the cars are long sedans ...

Are you American?

Original poster
Gentleness · 09/05/2012 00:05

Worraliberty - if a dream job came up, it'd have to be well-paid enough to be worth having 2-3 kids in childcare, plus pay for transport, plus I'd only take it if it meant we could move! Your scenario isn't realistic.

Bogeyface - I've not been saying I'm reasonable to resent them. I'm pretty sure I'm not. But I do think it's reasonable to consider whether it is fair to your neighbours to have so many vehicles on a busy road.

McHappyPants - great sense of achievement isn't it! My parents (driveway parking) can't parallel park for toffee now.

OP posts:
GrahamTribe · 09/05/2012 00:08

So you win a car tomorrow. What are you going to say? "Oh no thank you, I couldn't possibly accept this brand new BMW, it will mean that Mrs Jones next door might have to park a bit down the road and actually walk her two children to her front door"?

Really?

knowitallstrikesagain · 09/05/2012 00:09
  1. They try to leave you a space
  2. You are fortunate enought not to have to work, they might need to and might need the transport
  3. If another car was affordable and would greatly improve your quality of life and career potential, you would get one.
  4. See 1. If they try and leave you a space, what more do you want them to do? Give up their jobs? Move?
WorraLiberty · 09/05/2012 00:09

You're thinking too deeply into my 'scenario'

Just ask yourself if having a car meant working your dream job...would you turn it down so your neighbours could park in their preferred spot?

What I'm trying to get at hear is this....You have no idea why your neighbours need their cars. You also have no idea if you're going to need on in the future.

So saying you factor their feelings into your 1 car family choice, is ok for now because it suits you and your family.

Krumbum · 09/05/2012 00:12

Yanbu it's ludicrous for them to have a car per person, why does no one use public transport? They shouldn't have so many cars but if they selfishly insist upon it then they should have the courtesy not to take up the whole road.

imnotmymum · 09/05/2012 00:13

We have 2 cars and a van and we need it for 2 drivers public transport !! ha ha !!

knowitallstrikesagain · 09/05/2012 00:15

it's ludicrous for them to have a car per person

The same could be said for neighbours, if your neighbour has a car, why do you need one?

Maybe you have different working patterns/shifts, maybe you work in opposite directions, maybe you use your car to lift share or help others out which you don't brag about so nobody knows about.

The only people who can complain about cars, any number of cars, are the people who never go in them, And by this I mean lift shares, taxis, anything.

WorraLiberty · 09/05/2012 00:15

Krumbum there could be many many reasons why someone needs a car

They don't have 'so many'...they just have one each like most adults do.

And they pay their road tax (I assume) so have every right to park on the road.

I'm not saying it's not annoying, but I can't understand why some people think these people shouldn't own cars.

In that case, no-one should own one surely? Just because you live in the same house as someone else, doesn't mean you can necessarily car share.

Original poster
Gentleness · 09/05/2012 00:16

What I'm trying to get at here is whether they should consider parking one of their FOUR cars elsewhere. You are missing the point.

I wouldn't turn down a job because my neighbours couldn't park in their preferred spot. I would turn down a job if it required a car I didn't have space to keep and didn't provide the funds to let me buy space to keep it. The road is not my space.

Graham - of course I'd accept the BMW... and take it straight to be sold.

Knowitall - see sentence 1. And 2.

OP posts:
Krumbum · 09/05/2012 00:16

It's 4 cars! 1 house 4 cars! Buses and trains exist.

McHappyPants2012 · 09/05/2012 00:17

The best thing I have read you are not in a traffic jam you are part of the traffic jam

imnotmymum · 09/05/2012 00:18

Krumbum depends where you live.

McHappyPants2012 · 09/05/2012 00:18

Krumbum depends on shifts work, my dh finishes 10:30 and no way would he get home using public transport

BBQJuly · 09/05/2012 00:19

YANBU. It's pretty cheeky of them to grumble if they're contributing 4 cars to the problem.

WorraLiberty · 09/05/2012 00:19

Finally OP you admit "The road is not my space"

You're right, it's everyone's space who pays road tax.

If you'd turn down your dream job because it required a car...and you didn't want to park that car on a road (after paying road tax) I think you're either deluded or barking Grin

WorraLiberty · 09/05/2012 00:20

Nobody is contributing 4 cars to the problem

Each individual adult has 1 car

Just like the OP has 1 car.

Original poster
Gentleness · 09/05/2012 00:20

Oh and Pendeen Blush - couldn't think of the right word!

OP posts:
knowitallstrikesagain · 09/05/2012 00:20

You would turn down a job because you could not buy a driveway?

Am I being deliberately obtuse? Because I feel like I am but I still don't get it.

You are lucky enough not to have to work. You do not have to consider parking issues. But yes, the road is yours. The road belongs to all of us. We pay for this through road tax. So if you would turn down a job because you would not want to park on a public road, I would suggest you don't mention this at interview. How lucky not to actually need a job.

Krumbum · 09/05/2012 00:21

That isn't true. Only wealthy people can afford to run 4 cars! So poorer people don't work shifts or work in different directions? No they do and they get the train, bus, walk, share a car. If these people NEED four cars then live sonewhere that having them wont make other ppl's lives difficult.