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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To resent the family with four cars?

156 replies

Gentleness · 08/05/2012 22:22

Road of almost all terraced houses though theirs is a semi. The road space outside each house is the same - 1.5 cars max. We have one car for a family of four and another baby maybe on the way. They have a family of four, 2 adult children and a car each. AND 2 of the cars are long sedans. I can understand the need for a car each but surely they should take that into account when choosing where to park on a busy road. They're all lovely apart from one who can't bear to even smile at anyone, never mind chat, and all of them except her do try really hard to leave us a space outside our house. But when we or one of us goes out in evenings, sometimes we can't even park on our road which leaves me in an awkward spot the next morning with the kids - a baby and a toddler.

The other day the mum said, "It's frustrating the parking on this road isn't it. It's really hard for us with four cars!" Given none of them ever leave the house in the evening so are parked up nicely overnight right by their house by 5pm, and they have 1 person to a car, I just about managed to splutter politely that with our ONE car for 4, we can't always park on our own road which is hard with the kids. I so wanted to rant and it's been picking at my mind ever since.

So AIBU to reckon they should consider the rest of the residents and expect to park at least one of their cars further away. Even rent a garage. Not from any legal obligation, just from moral kindness. Or the "kids" could actually leave home!

OP posts:
CharltonHairstyle · 08/05/2012 22:54

I sympathise with you, but it's true, you don't own the road.

I'm in a similar predicament (now and then) but I just have to keep reminding myself my previous point!

Just let these things wash over you and practice silent screaming Wink

WorraLiberty · 08/05/2012 22:56

I'm talking about the thought processes (or lack thereof) behind having 4 cars on a road of terraced houses and whether it is morally kind to live in a way that makes life harder for those around you

But each individual adult in that house owns 1 car just like you do

Each one pays road tax just like you do

So what makes you think your car is more important or 'morally kinder' than theirs? Confused

drcrab · 08/05/2012 22:58

We used to live on a row of terraces and had 2 cars (had to, work purposes although for 6/8 of those years we only had 1 car). We were the middle terrace. Our neighbours : end terrace had no car, next one had a micra, next to us was a 90+ year old lady no car, us, next to us no car, next to them one car and end terrace one car.

Think we just made do. Over the years people moved and more cars came on. We had to park further out. But you just had to make do.

Popoozle · 08/05/2012 22:59

YABU. Sorry, if you wanted to be able to park reliably outside your own home you should have chosen a property with a driveway, allocated parking space or scope to have one. Public roads are public roads and you should have taken that into account when buying or renting your home.

MustControlFistOfDeath · 08/05/2012 22:59

A few years ago DP and I shared a house with 5 other people, we had 5 cars between us (actually 6 cars at one point as DP had a hire car (after an accident) which overlapped with the purchase of his new car).

There was only room on the drive for 1 car.

I don't think we were terribly popular with the neighbours tbh Grin

GrahamTribe · 08/05/2012 23:03

Is it morally right for you to expect the occupants of the house to give up some of their cars for your benefit, just so you can park where you'd like to, and possibly be unable to get to work/visit relatives who are far away/whatever? You just don't have the higher moral ground here and the neighbours are not there to fit in with your moral code.

imnotmymum · 08/05/2012 23:07

We have had this "problem" from both ways wound me up to hell when someone parked in front of house but then realised life too short to worry especially as we had 2 cars and a van and took up most of close anyway ... although morally we respect others space.

lurkerspeaks · 08/05/2012 23:07

YABU and somewhat missing the point - no one thinks " oh, maybe I shouldn't have a car because it might up set that woman down the road with the little kids".

One day it might well be you. None of my siblings or I (there are 3 of us) live permanently at home any longer. However, we have all ricocheted back at various points over the last 3 years and sometimes overlapped = parking nightmare. We all need our cars for work although my parents themselves could drop from two cars to one car and my brother doesn't need to collect vintage sports cars (but it is fun and I don't object 'cos I get to drive them = much more exciting than my Golf!)

If you really want guaranteed parking choose to live / buy a house that has a driveway or garage and use it. Personally (when I'm not camping at the parentals) I live in the city centre and take my chances with the lottery of expensive on street residents parking although I did choose the location of my flat carefully so that the immediate area round my flat has an excess of spaces as many of the residential properties have been converted into offices who can't use the residents parking scheme.

iloveACK · 08/05/2012 23:09

YABU

Original poster
Gentleness · 08/05/2012 23:10

Popoozle - we did! We chose to have one car - Dh uses public transport to commute. Having no driveway was a big compromise for us, but meant we could keep the cost of buying down so I could stay at home at least while the kids were small. Having one car because of no off-road parking was also a compromise. We thought it all through very carefully. I thought that was normal. Before adding more cars to a household, you think through the implications. I guess for me, the implications for my neighbours are a factor but clearly not for others.

McHappyPants - yep that's always fun! Surely it's just courtesy to park well - though there was survey recently about parallel parking which was scary reading.

MustControlFistOfDeath - I bet all sorts of evil looks were directed at your house!

OP posts:
GrahamTribe · 08/05/2012 23:12
Jinsei · 08/05/2012 23:14

It must be annoying but YABabitU. If all four of them work in different places, maybe they need the four cars for commuting etc. I would have more sympathy if it was more than one car per adult.

MustControlFistOfDeath · 08/05/2012 23:16

It was a quiet respectable cul-de-sac of 4 and 5 bed detacheds.

Then we moved in (temporary houseshare). The other 6 people were Polish which caused a lot more Shock than the cars I think Grin

We were vair quiet and well behaved most of the time

WhippingGirl · 08/05/2012 23:20

yanbu. i have a toddler and a baby and on street parking and its pretty hard going if i have to park in the next street because people are too selfish to think of others. actually to be fair most of the time in my street its not to bad unless people have have weekend guests then its impossible. the lady opposite and i were staking out people leaving then sprinting out the door to move our cars.

im not aware that any of my neighbours have 4 cars but i am pretty annoyed that if people have weekend guests they ought to ask them (or move their own cars) up to the main road (lots parking) out of consideration for their neighbours.

my neighbours also have small children (and only one vehicle) and we rub along ok but if my neighbours were older/disabled (with no special space) or really had thier hands full somehow id be mortified if i was forcing them to park far away just because i got there 1st.

lurkerspeaks · 08/05/2012 23:21

McHappyPants I couldn't agree more. I made all my neighbours stop and admire when we got 7 cars in the bay that is really only for 6.... but by judicious parking (i.e. fluke) of the small cars (it is a bit mini-tastic round here) we got a whole extra car in.

I think they thought I'd flipped!

I also get cross when someone parks right in the middle of a space that is big enough for 2 cars. That is just crap parking. However, because of city centre living I'm a whizz at parallel parking. I used to wow the blokes at Uni when I could park rented minibuses/ transit vans with ease. n explanation I did a lot of sport that required use of large vehicles and I was a girl with a clean driving licence so often ended up driving. I will however concede that reversing with a trailer is v. much not my strong point. Friends Mum (v. horsey) was always the (wo)man for that job - years of driving horse boxes really paid off.

boxyfoxy · 08/05/2012 23:26

yanbu OP i feel your pain!

i live in terraced housing, on my right, couple, three kids, 1 of driving age, two little ones- 4 cars (one each for parents, plus company car and one for teen daughter) and they always have visitors so there's usually another car parked in front of us... on my left, mother, her teen daughter and younger daughter, 3 cars, plus the two cars that the teen daughter's boyfriend drives... yes, two, the company car, and his one. Next house along, mother with adult daughter and boyfriend, they have 3 cars, one each, suppose that's reasonable. next to her, lady with two cars.... then i don't know, I only know that we are the only bloody family on the street to only have one car. Some evenings I have to park down the road, which pisses me right off. Yes of course, everyone's got a right blah blah blah... I suppose I'm just jealous, we could really use two cars, heck, I'd love to have one for every day of the week, we have 4 kids between us, but we just can't afford to run another vehicle. I wish I could be like Stephen Fry who i've heard has bought lots of cars and leaves them parked outside his house so noone can park near him. yeah, that or a big pile in the country then i wouldn't have to worry about this shit.

WorraLiberty · 08/05/2012 23:32

I guess for me, the implications for my neighbours are a factor but clearly not for others

Yeah they're a 'factor' now but will they still be a factor when you're back to work?

What if a car makes your life 100% easier for getting to and from work and picking the kids up from the CM?

Surely you're not going to say you'd put your neighbours above what's right for you and your family?

Original poster
Gentleness · 08/05/2012 23:35

Parallel parking worries. However, I think some people are just lazy! Practise makes perfect...

OP posts:
EchoBitch · 08/05/2012 23:36

Irritating but tough.

You don't own the road outside your house.

CrispyCod · 08/05/2012 23:40

We're lucky enough to have an understanding with the immediate neighbours in that we all park outside our own houses. Any additional cars are placed outside the houses without car owners. Also, any visitors are aware of where they should park so they don't piss off the neighbours. Works well apart from the occasional random who parks in my spot.

Original poster
Gentleness · 08/05/2012 23:43

Not above Worraliberty but alongside. I don't want a family dynamic that doesn't care about others. So yes, it would still be a factor - one of many. Why not? Or is it always someone else's responsibility to think of others?

OP posts:
slacklucy · 08/05/2012 23:44

yabu its a road, anyone can park there.. you may just have to walk a little. It sometimes feels like a pain but really if thats all you ahve to worry about then lifes pretty rosy!

knowitallstrikesagain · 08/05/2012 23:44

Having no driveway was a big compromise for us, but meant we could keep the cost of buying down so I could stay at home at least while the kids were small

You chose not to have a specific parking space to keep costs down.

YABU

knowitallstrikesagain · 08/05/2012 23:46

It is possible that the house your neighbours bought, on their budget, still meant they had to work, hence the need for more cars. You are in a privaleged (sp) position not to have to worry about this.

WorraLiberty · 08/05/2012 23:47

Because OP I don't believe for a second you would worry about your neighbour's parking, if you need a car in the future.

You're still going to get one aren't you?

Or would you pass up a well paid job....your dream job for example so the neighbours can park in their preferred spot?