Not want sex after having a baby

[Lovepjs]

Is it normal to still not want it 6 months after having baby?

I don't really think there is a 'normal' in these situations.

One thing I do know (personally) is that sometimes the less sex you have, the less you want or need.

The opposite can also be true...hence the reason some couples go through periods of abstinence and then periods of going at it like rabbits.

It can be for some people.

Have you thought why you might not want to?

Or is there no particular reason and you think your hormones could be the culprit? And they do take their time to settle down, what with them and having to look after a small baby it's bound to have an effect on you.

I agree there is no normal, and if you get out of the habit you forget all about how yummy it can be - physically and emotionally and being a couple again rather than parents.

The thought of him touching my wobbly wobbly belly after 3 kids is making me sick. Also I think u r right I think I've forgotten about couple time :(

I found it to be normal for as long as I was bfing. I couldn't have wanted sex less after having both my babies, and I did feel guilty about that and try to want it iyswim. Both times, I bfed until 9-10 months, and as soon as I stopped, it was literally like someone had flicked a switch. Within a couple of days I was back to wanting sex as soon as I stopped feeding.

Well I feel like that about my tummy still but once you started well erm it's quite nice!!!!

I'm a bit odd I really want sex very soon after birth although it was very frequent until they were older.

Talk to him about how you feel about your body and try and make some time to snuggle and snog in bed with the understanding that you don't think you'll want it to go anyfurther?

oops

wasn't very frequent!

There is no normal - it depends entirely on you. A new baby is a huge adjustment, there's the lack of sleep, hormones, changes to your body etc.

Is your DH understanding? Are you able to talk to him? Do you have support to give you a break from just being "mum"

Don't pressure yourself - there is no deadline on this

There is no normal time, I am sure your husband still finds you attractive

It's all normal, darling, and you may find that your husband loves your body even more now it has produced his child. Have you spoken to him about it?

As RandomMess says upthread, there are plenty of other things you can do for now, if the whole hog seems a bit much.

At 6 months I think we'd had sex twice. I agree that if you're BFing it kills your sex drive.

BUT it does get better.

I didn't want it while I was BFing, but there was more to it I think.

As well as Dh just being another person 'demandiong' of my body (and it's not really like that, but that was my perception) I was upset about how my body had changed, things felt different, I felt different in myself and I wasn't liking it.

Baby Goo is 17months and only now am I starting to feel some 'ownership' over my own body again. For me that has been the most important thing about wanting sex again.

BFing kills my sex drive, just kills it.

Plus I am so tired that if I get a chance at an early night once all the tasks are done, then I just want to sleep.

My youngest is 13 months, and thus far things are not exactly rocking on that front...

Dd3 is now 13 weeks, we've had sex quite a lot since then. She's my 5th but our daughter before her was stillborn. Dd3 was also born at 34 weeks and spent 2 weeks in scbu so it was very stressful. Not normal circumstances which might make a difference, I'm so grateful to have her alive that I'm just happy most of the time. The sleepless nights are tough though, I'm breastfeeding too.

I don't think "normal" exists though, whatever you're happy with is perfectly OK :)

Oh if it helps, DS is 6 months. I reckon we've had sex 5 times? There's no time, he sleeos in our room (and often bed), I feel fat, we are both tired etc etc

All normal :)

DD is six months. I'd say we've probably dtd maybe 5 times tops since she was born. Mind you, I had a crash cs and couldn't walk upright for 9 weeks. It's partly being knackered, partly being self conscious and partly the thought of the 3yo bounding in.

DS is 10 months and we haven't had sex since a couple of months before he was born! DH has never had a high sex drive so it doesn't really bother him. Most nights both of us are too tired to even contemplate it.

Catgirl, can I ask, if he still sleeps in your room (are you breast feeding?) How have you even managed 5 times?! I take my hat off to you! My daughter is still in our room, breastfed and we have not yet managed anything. I just can't figure the logistics and I'm really not that fussed really. I really feel for my lovely, patient husband though. Poor man.

He is still in our room kitty.

He's still bf (although he does have some formula top ups but not at night as it seems like he wants the comfort of boob more than the food when he wakes up - hence him often ending up in our bed)

They've been 5 snatched quickies rather than proper "sessions" :)

Luckily DH is as tired as I am and isn't the type to put any guilt / pressure on.

Before I had DS I was convinced I would move him into his own room at around 2 months as he was going to fit in with us not they other way round .........ha ha ha

How old is your DD kitty? Am wondering how long to keep DS in our room, but can't see much point moving him till he sleeps through

DD2 is 3 weeks and we have done it twice, and also just 69 on its own once. I dont like doing it with kids in the room though so we usually do it on the living room floor.

I co sleep with dd at the mo she goes down in the cot then later on her first wake up I usually get her in the bed, that way we get some adult time to.

I am breastfeeding this time as well, but you just have to do it at random times if we get both kids down then were doing it sort of thing as otherwise if you wait until later on its all crying and feeding and its impossible.

Op are you scared of becoming pregnant again, as for me the thought killed my sex drive

69?

I agree that the terror of getting pregnant again was a massive factor after I had DS and destroyed my vagine

Dd3 (13 weeks) is still in our room and we've done it about 8 times, something like that. Mostly not in bed though.

My stitches hadn't healed at 3 weeks......69 was waaay out of the question