Not want sex after having a baby

[Lovepjs]

Is it normal to still not want it 6 months after having baby?

I didnt have any stitches this time this baby shot out of me in record time it even shocked the midwife. Was in and out the hospital in just under 2 hours! Dont know if thats a good or bad thing. My bits must be secretly huge

No, no Molly - you just clearly have a super toned pelvic floor and popped the baby out

DS was 9lb 1 and a forceps delivery so my poor fanjo will never be the same again

Our DD is 10 months and we've done it once! It's a bit of a running joke at the moment! Hopefully it'll all get back to normal at some point...it'll have to if we want another!!

I still feel quite self-conscious, wobbly tums and all that

Ergh 1 year on, still don't want to. Sex drive stone dead. Once around ovulation did I feel like it, but no. Tired, fat and mostly scared of getting pg again and getting tired and fatter still.

DS is 4 months old and we've only had sex about 4 times. It is still painful for me and I just don't feel like it, so yanbu. I think it's different for every couple though, so like others have said there's no such thing as normal.

Actually if there's anyone reading who can help me: I've started my first period today 4 months after DS was born. Does this mean I'll get my
Sex drive back now? I'm still ebfing, with 1 bottle feed a day.

3 weeks?? Sorry, that's ridiculous.

I don't get my sex drive back properly for around 2 1/2 years, found that I put so much pressure on myself it made me want to less. Speak to your dp about it and totally take it off the table for now but explain why. Is it your first? I found how my whole life changed also affected how I viewed myself and lost the party/fun side that I must have associated with sex so when I found new ways to enjoy myself in life I thought about sex more. Please don't worry about it, there are more important things happening for you right now xx

I *didn't not don't

iphoned I think that I did kind of want it around ovulation, but I had deeper issues about my body not feeling like it was 'mine'. I had a talk to DH about it and that actually helped a lot.

Strawberry it's not ridiculous, it's someone elses experience.

Catgirl- she's 6 months too. She was sleeping through from 8 weeks but had recently started waking every hour or two. I feel the same, its silly to try to settle her next door when I'll just be going in every hour. My husband is being so good, no pressure or anything but I feel awful for him.

kitty - DS hasn't slept through once yet..what's your secret :)

Maybe someone's experience but everyone is advised to wait 6 weeks for a reason! I certainly don't fancy a womb infection straight after having a baby. The lochia doesn't tend to stop until after then either so the thought of a 69 makes me [

Makes me post before I'm done....and makes me feel sick.

Strawberry - With both babies lochia stopped completely after 1 week, I obviously wouldnt do it if I was still bleeding. Also midwife said its completely fine to have sex before the six week check and lots of people do they just have to make sure they use contraception.

DS is 11mo and we've had sex twice. We've done plenty of other stuff but as I'm still bf, I haven't been too keen. DH is very patient, bless him. I'm just too knackered and a bit ambivalent really!

Ok judgey pants off...apologies. My experience was so different it's hard to see how it's possible to feel like you want to but it obviously is.

My DD is 5mo. We had sex when she was around 5 weeks old and roughly once a fortnight since then.

I know, however, that I am one of those people who, the less I have it the less I want it so I have to sort of gently talk myself into it (nothing to do with DH, he would wait for whenever I feel comfortable). If I didn't make any effort to keep my sex life relatively regular (once a fortnight is regular enough atm until I feel better about my body) then I'd end up slipping into never ever having it and not knowing how to instigate it when I did really want it.

I don;t know if I've described it properly.

As long as you are OK, OP, then don;t fret. Though I think we are all super-critical of our post-birth bodies when in actual fact our OHs really genuinely don;t see what we see.

I am another one for whom bf-ing put paid to any sexual desire. Sex was also pretty uncomfortable, though I still did it (with lube) for good marital relations.

My boobs were amazing though! Though I would not let dh near them for long ...

Bleeding stopped after 1 week??? Surely not?!

Catgirl- swaddling did it for us. She slept like a sedated log. She went into her growbag 3 weeks ago hence change in behaviour. When I say sleep through I mean 10.00 or 11.00 till 6 or 7.00 in the morning. She would feed constantly from 5pm till she conked out!

Sorry to go off topic but we swaddled too....work a dream and had another early sleep-througher.

I still swaddle now (5mo) as she sleeps brilliant that way.

As you were.

My bleeding stopped after 1 week too. by the second day it was just a normal period.

Where I lucked out in that department, I did not get a slepping through baby

He refused to be swaddled :( hated it

He's a wriggly kicker :)

me and DH went about 15 months without sex after dd was born. We still go months at a time but we are both so busy etc we don't find time for eachother as much as we should. Still both happy and in love though and we openly talk about it. Neither of us are sex mad although we obviously enjoy it when we do it... The only problem is we have started to 'plan' it now !

Sorry catgirl! I've no other suggestions then. My 6 month old is now acting like a newborn now though so I'm no longer rested!