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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go to pils for lunch?

60 replies

startwig1982 · 06/05/2012 09:01

Just to clarify, this isn't a pil bashing thread as they are lovely! We go there for lunch every blooming Sunday as they're only 20 mins away. Today we're going to a christening with lunch after, so I told DH to phone mil and tell her we're not going for lunch. Now she's upset and DH is upset and asked me if I'm avoiding pils!! ffs Angry
it's just one sodding Sunday!! Please tell me ianbu

OP posts:
Mrsmuppethead · 06/05/2012 09:02

Not unreasonable..but have you only just told her today?

5318008 · 06/05/2012 09:03

why have you or DH not told her already? she'll have got all the gubbins in to feed your lot, prob got her meat in already etc etc

poor lady

doormat · 06/05/2012 09:03

YANBU ..tbh your dh should of already informed them of the christening plans in advance...

Sparklingbrook · 06/05/2012 09:03

Could you pop in for a cup of tea afterwards?

Flisspaps · 06/05/2012 09:04

YANBU, although perhaps your DH should have taken it upon himself to call MIL sooner if she was expecting you today rather than leaving it until the last minute?

onadifferentplanet · 06/05/2012 09:05

YANBU to do something different.I presume you have known about the christening for a while, have you only got round to telling her you can't make it this morning? If so I think that is BU.

lucyellensmumnamechange · 06/05/2012 09:05

YABU just eat two dinners - because thats the logical thing to do isn't it! Tell your DH to stop being such a mummy's boy and suggest you visit the ILs later in the day

lucyellensmumnamechange · 06/05/2012 09:06

but yes, you should have told her in advance THAT is why she is pissed orf

redexpat · 06/05/2012 09:06

Bit last munite to cancel. Can see why they're upset, so YABU for not dealing with this when you were first invited to the christening.

Original poster
startwig1982 · 06/05/2012 09:07

We've known about it for a while and mil, bless her, is one of those organised people who makes chicken casserole in batches and freezes it, so she was just getting something out of the freezer. DS and I went round on weds and mil came here on thurs so it's not like we haven't seen them this week!

OP posts:
diddl · 06/05/2012 09:08

Eh?

Your husband asked if you are avoiding his parents because you are all going out somewhere??Confused

And why is a grown man upset about missing one lunch with his parentsConfusedConfused

doormat · 06/05/2012 09:09

is this another wind up???

WandaDoff · 06/05/2012 09:09

You really should have mentioned before now that you wouldn't be there.

She'll have got all the food in, I'd be quite pissed off too.

Original poster
startwig1982 · 06/05/2012 09:10

No really not a wind up! I'm as confused as you!

OP posts:
BackforGood · 06/05/2012 09:11

Not clear how much notice you gave.
As long as you told her in advance then of course YANBU, and your MiL and dh's behaviour is a bit odd.
If you just mentioned it today or yesterday then that was rude of you.

5318008 · 06/05/2012 09:11

she is prob really cross at the bad manners

oh but it's okay because she does batch-freezing Hmm

when was the last time DH invited PILs to your for lunch?

DPrince · 06/05/2012 09:11

Whether she is getting something out the freezer isn't the point. If you always go, you should have told her sooner. Your dh asking if your avoiding her, knowing you have plans is U.

Original poster
startwig1982 · 06/05/2012 09:11

As I said, it's not about getting food in, as she gets it out of the freezer and they have a huge vegetable garden. She will phone us up a couple of hours before lunch and invite us over without batting an eyelid.

OP posts:
meditrina · 06/05/2012 09:12

When did you actually tell her about the other lunch?

If it was only this morning, then I can see why she's miffed, and possibly thinks you're just making excuses, as a Christening could have been known about weeks in advance.

doormat · 06/05/2012 09:12

just dont understand why if you have seen her 3 times in past week..she hasnt been told that you have different plans today...

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 06/05/2012 09:12

You should have told her before now! How rude.

ErikNorseman · 06/05/2012 09:13

Well maybe you should stop going there every week, if missing one week causes so much upset. You have set a precedent, they are clearly needy, and it's very limiting.

Original poster
startwig1982 · 06/05/2012 09:14

It has been mentioned before but I imagine that DH forgot about it. It wasn't last minute as I had said last weekend but DH phoned to tell them yesterday.

OP posts:
imnotmymum · 06/05/2012 09:14

THis is odd as you are all going out somewhere and lunch was known about after Christening? So how come you are saying avoiding PIL. Agree should have told them sooner I would be mardy if just told today especially as it Bank Holiday weekend [I don't know but we always have a grander dinner on BH like Christmas maybe that just me ??]

5318008 · 06/05/2012 09:16

oh so now it's not a longstanding regular arrangement, to have lunch there every week

even though you go there regularly

okay