AIBU or is DH over this fucking lie in?

[PassMeTheWino]

I really need to know who is BU here because I am so cross right now Im not sure Im thinking straight.

DH and I have two children, 6 and 1. The 1 year old is teething and waking a lot. Tbh teething or not the baby wakes a lot, a lot. For this reason DP chooses to sleep on the sofa, its huge, its comfy and it saves both of us bring woken 6 million times a night. Twice have nights been so bad that I have asked for his help, 2 times in a year. I strive to not ask for his help as his work involves heavy and dangerous machinery Id worry about him going to work tired.

Because nights are bad for me, come Saturday mornings every now and then I'll get a lie in. I wake up with the baby, get his nappy changed, him dressed, myself dressed the eldest dressed. I come down, give the baby breakfast and if everyone is well and happy I slope off for 1-2 hours shut eye.

Thats how it went yesterday. Afterwards I said did he want to do the same tomorrow? (this whole lie in thing is very very recent, so he'd not done it yet). He said possibly, depends what time we all get up, if he does he'll go upstairs once we're all down. Great, fine.

So, baby wakes at 6am the eldest comes and joins us, I get the baby changed he screams a lot (teething, ear ache, hates his nappy being put on) I get the eldest change and notice hes tip out one of his toy boxes. I quickly put the toys back in (takes about 3 minutes) and DH comes up with a face like a slapped arse and starts giving me grief about 'all the noise'. I was thinking WTF?!

We all went down its 06.45 hes got a good 2-3 hours before the baby needs a nap so he can go up and sleep.

Cue huge row. Apparently hes too awake now, all my crashing around for am hour and a half. And he'll make sure he does the same next time I want a lie in.

WTAF? I was trying to get everyone dressed and sorted and downstairs and fed (just like I do on a morning of my potential lie in) so he could go upstairs.

Now hes got a face like thunder being a complete fucking martyr and refusing to go. Its all my fault of course.

WIBU? Because right now all I can think is he's being a fucking wanker.

prepares to be flamed

What's a lie-in?

I can understand him being pissed off, it was my turn for a lye in yesterday and afterdd waking up at 7 and df getting up and sorting her out I couldnt get back to sleep and was peeved as I had missed the chance of a good lye in. Did I take it out on df - not at all. Yanbu

yanbu - worse of all it's a bank holiday tomorrow so he could have just said - I'm too awake now I'll get up and have the dcs and I'll try and have my lie in tomorrow instead.

He has missed an opportunity to be kind and loving towards you.

But pass- cant you see that the reason your baby is 'booby' is because he gets no comfort from your DP? If your DP had spent the last year caring for him more he would get comfort from both of you.

Not necessarily Margery. Babies are all different my friend certainly wears the trousers with her husband and got a lie in every day and he is a very hands on father, but the baby was still all about getting more booby. The op is happily agreeing her dh is being a dickhead over this issues but can't see why your accusing her of using this as an excuse?

Thanks Pickles, and youre right. My eldest was breastfed but definitely was not a booby baby.

Margery the reason he goes for me over DH is really quite simple - I habe breasts and he doesnt.

He sounds mean spirited and childish and petty.

Lovely guy.

The boob thing is a red herring. My DH does all the bedtimes, all the early mornings (because I do all the nights) and my DD was still like a total boob-zombie. We stopped BFing and she still loves them. They are now a convenient pillow.

When DD is leaky in the morning (OMFG I must be a terrible parent too) I give her to DH leaky. He changes her and gets her ready. On a run of good nights, he sometimes complains. On a run of bad nights (teething, sick) when I am up 20 times a night, he gets his rationality back.

When he wants an early morning or bedtime 'off', he gets it, no whining or complaining. Because I appreciate what he does for DD.

I definitely wouldnt whine or complain about him having a lie in, I suggested it to him. He works hard, I wouldnt complain.

Its just that he had the opportunity and he didnt take it because he was being a massive plank.

Its much calmer in the Wino household now so many hours on but I still think he was be nob.

Glad it's all calm. Look like you've got some good ideas from this thread!