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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To leave a 16 yr old alone for weekend?

67 replies

mosschops30 · 05/05/2012 14:21

Next weekend we are going to my mums to help her move house.
Dd doesnt want to come because she starts her GCSEs on the monday after. She doesnt want the upheaval of taking her revision with her to absolute chaos and no peace, which s fair enough.

Shes very sensible, i trust her 100%.

we will be 3 hours away by car, but our neighbours will keep an eye on her and things and her godmother is just round the corner.

Would you?

OP posts:

D0oinMeCleanin · 05/05/2012 14:23

No but only because my mum once did with me. How she ever had a house to come home is beyond me. It was nothing more than sheer luck on my part

I'm not your daughter, though. Do you know she won't throw any wild house parties?

AgentZigzag · 05/05/2012 14:23

If you trust her 100% why are you asking?

Doha · 05/05/2012 14:23

Yep and have done.
Let's face it. At 16 they are old enought to get married, so what's the harm in leaving alone unless you think she is going to arrange booze fuelled parties.
Give her a chance to prove herself

CoffeeBucks · 05/05/2012 14:24

I would. Similar thing happened to me when I was 16 & I stayed at home when my family went on a weekend away, because I needed to revise. All was fine!

LadyBeagleEyes · 05/05/2012 14:25

Of course I would and have just done it.
I was in London for a christening a few weeks ago, I was away five days in total.
I left ds to look after the dog and cats.
I just made sure there was plenty of food in the house and he was fine.

kazmus · 05/05/2012 14:25

just make sure she doesn't announce her independance on facebook!

Original poster

mosschops30 · 05/05/2012 14:25

I was living in a city centre flat with 4 blokes at 16

yes i know she wont have a wild party, plus said neighbour is so nosy that not a car comes in the street without him knowing.

OP posts:

Weathermerrier · 05/05/2012 14:26

Why not? At 16 I lived on my own in my own flat! 16 is defiantly old enough. Especially if she's sensible.

Original poster

mosschops30 · 05/05/2012 14:26

If she is 16 next month does it make a difference legally?

OP posts:

lesstalkmoreaction · 05/05/2012 14:26

Is she likely to get spooked at night? one of my girls age 17 would be fine and would actually get on with revising, the soon to be 16 year old sister would get spooked and bored on her own and would end up staying at a neighbours house but I would be happy to leave them overnight as neither would have parties.

Imperfectionist · 05/05/2012 14:27

I was left alone regularly for weekends from the age of 15 to 18 when I left home (Mum and Dad had a holiday cottage 2 hours a way, I wasn't interested in going with them from age 15 onwards). I was responsible, I dog sat for them. Yes, I had lots of parties that they didn't know about. Once my friends and I even replicated that old Yellow Pages add when someone smashed a window and we had to pool our meagre pocket money and get an emergency out-of-hours glazier round on Sunday morning to fix it. Mum and Dad never found out. The neighbours never complained

The house was always immaculate by the time they got back Sunday afternoon. We have a great relationship. I didn't do anything stupid. I did enjoy a lot of great teenage parties. If it's relevant I also passed all my exams, went to uni, professional life. I would say that thankfully there was no Facebook then.

Would the above be unacceptable to you? You need to work out what would be unacceptable and go from there! I'm pretty liberal, so would leave my children (who are still young) when they are 15, and having got up to all sorts as a teenager myself, consider I know all the tricks in the book already!

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 05/05/2012 14:29

Nope - no difference legally.

I would just check that her Godmother will be around for the weekend and that she's available should DD need her.

Imperfectionist · 05/05/2012 14:29

Sorry, forgot to add that the window was antique stained glass! That glazier did an amazing job. Sorry, I've not remembered that incident for many many years... good job nobody brought it up at my wedding or anything!

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 05/05/2012 14:29

I have to say though - I would have done ZERO studying No wild parties, but no studying either! But that's just me, your DD might be far far more responsible!

NonAstemia · 05/05/2012 14:35

Not in a million, trillion years, as my DD who is currently only 9 but would already be very likely to have all her mates round if I left her unsupervised for a weekend would say.

You do realise that all those parents who come home to trashed houses also trusted their DCs 100%?

EllenParsons · 05/05/2012 14:37

YANBU - Of course a 16 year old is old enough to be left alone and if you trust her not to have a party and trash the place then where is the problem.

NonAstemia · 05/05/2012 14:41

btw I'm not saying your DD isn't old enough to be left alone - I think she totally is - just that I personally wouldn't leave a teen alone in my house without assuming that other kids would turn up and it would turn into a party.

But then I am a horrid old suspicious cynic. who of course had a party in my mum's house aged 17

madmouse · 05/05/2012 14:42

I would think it's a little young. Old enough if all goes well, not quite old enough to cope in a calamity. And 3 hours drive away is a long time.

Is there no boring peaceful relative or friend who would house her for the weekend?

madmouse · 05/05/2012 14:44

Sorry I missed the Godmother round the corner bit. If Godmother is around at night then I would be ok with it personally.

mamij · 05/05/2012 14:44

As long as you trust her and make sure she knows your neighbour will be around. Tell her your friend/neighbour might pop round to see if she's ok (even if they don't) may be enough to put any party arrangements on halt.

AmberLeaf · 05/05/2012 14:49

If she is happy and confident about being on her own then yes.

LineRunner · 05/05/2012 14:49

Yes, I would, as you have trusted adults close by.

I keep thinking about my own DD, 'You are 16, you are old enough to be married but you still can't make a sandwich properly '

Weirdly, what would worry me most about leaving my own DD is that she gets totally spooked by spiders.

storminabuttercup · 05/05/2012 14:49

I would, I'm sure I was left alone at this age and as my neighbours were so nosy I never dared to have a party.

If she's sensible then it will be fine!

QuickLookBusy · 05/05/2012 14:51

I'm not sure, not because she is too young but if her GSCEs start on the Monday I would want to make sure she had a few early nights before her exams and that she revises over that weekend.

If you think she will then thats ok, but if you think she will be up until 4 on Sunday morning partying all night I would want her to be supervised.

Bletchley · 05/05/2012 14:51

I would only go for one night, not two. Which are you planning?

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