Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To leave a 16 yr old alone for weekend?

67 replies

mosschops30 · 05/05/2012 14:21

Next weekend we are going to my mums to help her move house.
Dd doesnt want to come because she starts her GCSEs on the monday after. She doesnt want the upheaval of taking her revision with her to absolute chaos and no peace, which s fair enough.

Shes very sensible, i trust her 100%.

we will be 3 hours away by car, but our neighbours will keep an eye on her and things and her godmother is just round the corner.

Would you?

OP posts:

exoticfruits · 05/05/2012 18:44

She can cook her own meals-more than you would get in a house move!

GateGipsy · 05/05/2012 18:49

We had fantastic parties at a friend's house, whose mother used to leave her on her own regularly. It was utterly brilliant.

Years later her mother commented that she used to love how incredibly lovely it was to go away and come back to a house that was not only spotless but cleaner than she'd left it.

zeeboo · 05/05/2012 18:50

We left ds1 for 5 days and he loved it and the house was in fine fettle. Not everyone's teenager is an idiot who shits on their own doorstep!!

candr · 05/05/2012 19:15

My parents trusted me but I still had parties. I used to take precautions and cover the carpet in old rugs, move breakable ornaments etc. The people I invited were all really nice and never would have intentionally damaged anything but when your drunk your drunk!
They all used to help clear up next day and my mum only ever found out once (was very upset so did not tell her about other times)
What you don't know can't hurt you

GirlWithALlamaTattoo · 05/05/2012 19:23

My parents left me for occasional weekends from that age. I had a few friends and my unsuitable older boyfriend round, but nothing worse than cider on the carpet ever happened.

If you trust her and her friends, do it.

thebody · 05/05/2012 19:27

While ago we left 2 dss at home while we went abroad for 5 days with dds. Lads were 18 and 17.

House was a tip on arriving back, they were astonished at our anger as had spent the day ' clearing up' god help us.

Door off it's hinges, their friend whose a carpenter( works at b and q) daft ad a brush offered to DRILL into the wall to rehang, if he had he would have hit gas pipe and blown house up!!

Two weeks later dh emptying bin In a strong wind was knocked over by a large black bag full of cans that the lads had chucked up onto the flat roof as of course putting them into the bincwoukd have been far too much work.

Happy days aye??

whackamole · 05/05/2012 19:29

My parents trusted me at that age, and although I didn't have parties I did have my boyfriend round the whole time!

I can't say whether I would trust my children at that age as they are only 3 and 6 months, although I don't think I would with DSS (should it ever arise) as at 11 he is daft as a brush and can barely make himself a drink without falling over himself and making a mess. But, it's a long way from 11 to 16 to you never know.

Those of you that say you need to support your children during exams, this may sounds ridiculous, but what do you mean? Surely the only thing you can do is say 'good luck' and send them off with enough pens in the right colour? If they haven't revised enough, then badgering them the entire weekend won't help, and even if they confide in you that they are worried, realistically what can you say/do in person that you can't do over the phone?

Genuine question by the way!

dementedma · 05/05/2012 20:10

whackamole very good question re exams. Some people on here seem to overparent to the point of hysteria where exams are concerned. With the DDs it was only a question of having plenty of snacks (Chocolate) in the house, making sure they took time off and chilled from time to time, and reassuring them that the world wouldn't end if they failed. They both did just fine and nobody died

exoticfruits · 05/05/2012 20:14

People are reading way too much into it.
OP trusts her 100%
She has local back up
DD, sensibly, doesn't want to have upheaval and chaos just before an exam.
She is 16yrs old and presumably can boil a kettle and cook a meal (or use a microwave).
I can't see a problem.

LineRunner · 05/05/2012 20:19

Re: exams.

My DD has a room, a desk, a chair, and little extra bedside table for 'stuff'. She has all her materials 'kinda' organised. There is stuff in our fridge.

Short of actually doing her revision for her, and masquerading as her during the exams, I can do no more. I have brought her up to do her best over the next few weeks. I feel I am probably irrelevant now.

LineRunner · 05/05/2012 20:20

p.s. she does have a bed and stuff, too....

hattymattie · 05/05/2012 20:23

My friend's parents regularly went away and left her for the weekend. She had loads of parties, magic mushrooms the lot. She was the one who ended up pregnant. I always remember being in her house when her mum was there and she was like a saint "Mum can I get you a cup of tea" etc. Now I have a 15 year old who I trust but I bear this in mind.

Yellowtip · 05/05/2012 20:39

IME the exam thing is just about food etc. etc. Actually, in our small over-populated house, mostly just about trying to carve out some peace. So the idea of a DD having a whole well stocked house to herself ahead of exams sounds completely ideal.

OTOH going to Granny's during the move with the first GCSE on Monday sounds grotesquely unfair.

I feel a little bit bad about delegating three siblings to DS1 but he's very relaxed and his A Levels don't start for four weeks.

landofsoapandglory · 05/05/2012 20:40

I would leave mine, but not the weekend before exams.

DS1 gets so into the zone of revision that if I left him, he would stay with his head in his books for 6-7 hours at a time without a break. He wouldn't eat or drink, and on many a weekend night DH has come up to bed in the small hours to find him still at it. So, in that respect he does need support during exam times.

Only you know your DD, mosschops. If you trust her, go for it. You have to leave them for the first time at some point.

Original poster

mosschops30 · 05/05/2012 20:50

Ooh i cant believe people think that you need to provide revising teenagers with snacks, tea and chatting! Dd would rather chew her own arm off than chat to us about anything!

My mum is on her own now, so its not like she has any support, shes needs dh to plumb in her stuff, assemble a table, lug boxes etc.

However, she is quiet, nerdy, never goes out at night, doesnt drink or smoke and no boyf. Sometimes i wonder if we're related as i was always the girl at parties getting pissed, snogging boys, smoking, puking etc etc.
I know dd wouldnt do any of those things

Thanks for all the posts

OP posts:

marriedinwhite · 05/05/2012 21:33

You sound like my mum Mosschops. God help your DD, she sounds like me . Against the grain and all that!

NonAstemia · 05/05/2012 22:28

mosschops DD sounds so reasonable that even my cynical heart is entirely softened.

You know your child best. If you feel that she's fine to be left, then that's the right thing to do. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong about leaving that age child/person alone - my only worry would be my house getting trashed and frankly noone sane would notice anyway, my house is such a tip - any your DD sounds eminently sensible.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread