In thinking that living in a B&B with two kids is going to be a nightmare?

[CharlieUniformNovemberTango]

I know I'm being unreasonable. I know there are people is worse situations but I need to get all of this out in the hope I'll sleep tonight if I offload and maybe even hear something positive from people who have done it before.

I have posted before under a different name (AllShiney) but this name better matches my mood :)

The gist is that I was served notice. I now have 18 days left and I still have not found anywhere to go. It's a combination of private rents being too high, no one taking people who recieve housing benefit, not having a UK based gaurentaur.

I have rung over 100 agencies. I have been in touch with shelter and a local housing charity. It's hopeless :(

I'm on the council list and bidding but I am low band only in need of an extra bedroom as per their assessment at the moment. They have advised that if I leave when my notice is over I am making myself intentionally homeless and they will not prioritise our needs. I basically have to stay and be evicted through the court before I am a priority.

Then I will 'most definately' be put into temporary accommodation which would be a B&B. They 'might' be able to offer me storage for my belongings at a reduced rate. However, they won't know this for certain until the day I approach them with my homeless application. That is the day that the bailiffs will evict me so I would have to leave the furniture behind as opposed to selling it if I had some notice.

Please don't get me wrong, I am gratefull we won't be on the streets but the whole situation is so stressful :(

I have an 11 yo and a 3 yo. The thought of staying in one room for months is daunting. I'm just visualising me sat in the dark from 8pm. Not even sure I'll have MN as I won't have my WiFi.

Also, the council women today said they will try to pu me in a food friendly b&b. When I asked what that meant she said some of the places they use don't allow any hit food in the room. You have to eat out for every meal. I was hoping I could pickup a cheap microwave and use that :(

It's going to be hell isn't it?

I'm also 'homeless' at the moment. Single parent with an 8yr old (additional needs).
Still, just, in my rented property but finding it all so stressful. My council have 'approved' my homeless application.
Private lets don't want to know as have to depend on LHA.
One that I enquired about still on market months later at reduced rent, yet they would not have me despite excellent references.

I'm there with you in the early hours of sleeplessness being deeply worried.

What the hell happens when homeless to bank accounts, car insurance etc.?

My son has autistic spectrum disorder, and we were fleeing a domestic abuse situation too, the council didn't accommodate our needs any more than any other families I met in homeless accommodation either.

Sotill - I have no idea :( I'm going to contact my bank and ask them

Ohdearnigel sadly I have no choice. If b&b is all they can offer, that is where I will go.

I think I will do the same as you thesocketpuppet. My DD gets free school meals and I will make sure they get what they need. Tbh, I'm hoping the lack of bills to pay will mean that if we need to eat out lots it won't feel too expensive and will kind of even out. I can go and cook at my mums once or twice a week I guess.

I do really appreciate everyone's stories and support. RL support is a bit thin on the ground at the moment :(

TheSockPuppet I read earlier in the thread here about special needs getting priority & thought not in my experience!

Are you settled now?

wrt the not being allowed to stay out overnight my experience is that most B&Bs don't give a shit as long as their bill is paid. This might just be because I have only been involved with residents of the scuzziest places (police) where residents have very chaotic lives so it would take a full time member of staff to keep tabs on them - but I would have thought it would be a breach of your human rights to tell you where you can and cannot sleep. It's not as if you're on bail with conditions.

I wonder if the bank will let me use my mums address care of type thing. What do people who are travelling do? My statements can be paperless but the write about other stuff now and then I guess.

Sockpuppet I'm not expecting any extra help. I know other families will be in more need then us.

I'm going to be making a million more phone calls come Tuesday to see if I have to wait until the court order. I have 16 days left. I'm making sure we are mostly packed up for the section 21 ending invade I find a private place in the mean time.

I just hate this. My son has only ever lived here. My daughter is so settled with friends here. I really feel useless :(

CharlieUniformNovemberTango
Sorry to meet under such circumstance!
Hard for others to imagine I suppose.
I also have nowhere else to stay, b&b it'll have to be if necessary.

Wish you well & hope things work out soon for you & your family.
In the meantime, in the small hours we can worry less alone.

I wonder if thy will bend the rules about the staying out thing? My brother is getting married and I will be looking after their boy for their wedding night so hope I can stay over their house for the night.

Also, I'm on the list for gallbladder surgery. Surely if I'm in hospital it won't count. And the kids will be staying with my sister so I hope that's ok too.

I know it's a silly thing to be worrying about really isn't it.

Yes Sotill :) it'll help knowing I'm not the only person staring at the ceiling at 3 am!

We will be ok. I know that. It's just in the meantime it feels so uncertain.

I hope you'll be housed soon.

sptilltomorrow, yes we're settled now thankfully but it was really difficult with DS especially not being able to get him into a routine and all the moving too, we lived in a refuge, a b&b, a one bedroom temporary flat and then our permanent home all in a year and a half and DS can have a bad day if he has a different cereal in the morning nevermind a new place to live!

OP I had all of my post sent to a friends house that I trusted, then explained to tax credits etc that it was just a postal address as my address was not secure and they were fine with it.

OP, I was in exactly the same situation as you last year, i was served a s.21 notice and had to vacate the property by 1st June, I looked for another property for months and i couldnt find anything. I contacted the council etc and was scared shitless by the prospect of living in a B&B with my little one.. Desperate times called for desperate measures ( I know im going to be screamed at for what im about to tell you, i know i lied/cheated etc) I had a friend that had a business, i went to the letting agents and viewed a property, i never mentioned HB etc, i had to have a credit check/employment check done to have the property i had wanted. I lied on the form and told them i worked full time at my friends hairdressers, the company that does the letting agent checks called her and did some checking, i then received a call on the 18th May telling me i had passed the checks and could have the property and i signed a 2 year lease ( I know its unheard of ) It turned my life around, one year on and i love the house, i found a fantastic full time job a few months after i moved and i have finally got to the position where i can stick two fingers up to my ex for leaving me and my son penniless/nearly homeless/and heart broken.. I must add i did have a large chunk of the deposit that was needed and the rest i raised by selling on ebay etc. I know what i did was wrong but i did what i thought was needed.. Good Luck and i really hope that everything works out for you, stay positive and stay strong xx

Also, my council allowed one night a week overnight as long as it wasn't every week IYSWIM, and I had to inform someone that I was staying out too.

Victoria - I can see why you did it. This situation makes you feel desperate. I don't have anyone close to ask to do that for me but I would probably think about it if I did. I just want to keep my children safe and happy.

I sometimes feel like I'll never get out of this cycle. I've just had to withdraw my university application because I couldn't focus on the 2 huge essays I needed to submit and come September, if I'm in b&b, I'd never fit study in with all of this going on In one room. I'm gutted but next year I will be settled and I will be focused. But I was trying so hard this year to turn our life around. We were settled and happy and now it's all been ripped out from underneath me.

Damn charlie I'm sorry to hear that re University. Could you get them to defer the place for a year once you tell them your circumstances? Whatever happens you havent anything to lose by asking?

Charlie, i really do feel for you, i couldnt sleep, i couldnt eat, i would just hide in the bathroom and cry. I was in the middle of doing a law degree and looking back i dont know how i coped with it all BUT somehow we do cope, we do pull through. Can you apply for an extension on your essays? I found studying a way of diverting my mind because i knew it was the only way out of the situation, it gave me something to focus on and a goal. I know its a cliche but everything happens for a reason, im sure something good will come out of all this in the furture. It taught me so much about myself, i didnt realise i could be so strong, me and my 9 yr old really pulled together and worked as a team, he knew things were tough and he kept me going, he will never know how much i appreciated his random cuddle and kisses..

Do you have to withdraw, could you apply again? I was in my 3rd year of university while homeless and having something positive to focus on was a god-send.

I want offered a place to defer. That was dependent on my essay contributions which looked like a pile of crap every time I tried :( I just couldn't deal with yet another thing on my list. Something else I was doing badly. It was a weight off my mind and I am free to reapply next year. And now I have a clearer idea of the process and the essay questions I can be prepared. Plus, I'm partway through some volunteer training so come applying next year my case will look stronger. I'm sticking my heels in about the volunteering and dragging myself regardless of my stress levels. It's been great to have that focus and do something I enjoy.

I'm just frustrated there seems so little I can do for myself right now.

And yes Victoria, my bathroom hasn't ever looked so clean since I keep popping in their to "have a quick tidy"

But my dd has guessed I think. The last two days she has had a cup of tea waiting for me when I've come out.

I'm fed up of crying. I'm the "fine" girl. I never ever get upset in public yet yesterday I saw my surgeon about my gallstones and cried my eyes out! He said I have to wait 4-5 months and I just want the surgery now to stop the pain being another thig keepin me awak.

YADNBU,poor you to be in this position,im not suprised you are worried

not much to add as some great advice already,you seem to have a very positive attitude to your situation,see this though,keep the end result in the front of your mind

please update when you can if possible

very best of luck to you and your kids

cant talk much now, but will read properly tomorrow as I know people who have been there. just marking my place for now. Will be back tomorrow. :) Hope you manage to get some rest tonight.

Just think it puts you in a much stronger position for a permant home

Charlie I'm so on your behalf. I looked into this for a friend recently. Councils only accepting you once a bailiffs notice has been served is totally immoral IMO.

It's a cynical attempt by councils to use the court system to keep their lists down. It serves no one, and makes landlords less likely to accept HB, making the situation worse.

I'm think that you need to be make sure you continue to pay your rent while waiting for eviction - I came across a thread on netmums when i googled this - a mum who had been advised to stay put by the council and had stopped paying rent. When it came to eviction day the council said they'd made themselves homeless because of non-payment of rent.

Obviously one thread on netmums is no substitute for proper legal advice, but worth knowing about.

Also I think that you're officially homeless once the bailiff's notice has been served, you may not have to wait until they actually turn up.

Also bailiffs can be pretty friendly (surprisingly!). I used to squat in my youth. When we got evicted we'd ring up the bailiffs and ask them when they were coming round, and they'd usually tell us.

In your position I'd find out which bailiffs the court intend to use, if you can. then when the eviction order is given, ring them up and ask when they'll be coming. It's in their interests to cooperate with you as it makes their job easier.

A friend of mine was in a B&B with her 3 kids and it was actually nice! I can't speak for yours obviously, but it might not be so bad.

Also once in emergency housing your points will be put up for bidding, so you should get somewhere permanent out of it.

Wishing you luck. It's a PITA and massively disruptive, but you will get through it and next year will be much better! I'm at uni now and love it, I'm sure you will too :)