In thinking that living in a B&B with two kids is going to be a nightmare?

[CharlieUniformNovemberTango]

I know I'm being unreasonable. I know there are people is worse situations but I need to get all of this out in the hope I'll sleep tonight if I offload and maybe even hear something positive from people who have done it before.

I have posted before under a different name (AllShiney) but this name better matches my mood :)

The gist is that I was served notice. I now have 18 days left and I still have not found anywhere to go. It's a combination of private rents being too high, no one taking people who recieve housing benefit, not having a UK based gaurentaur.

I have rung over 100 agencies. I have been in touch with shelter and a local housing charity. It's hopeless :(

I'm on the council list and bidding but I am low band only in need of an extra bedroom as per their assessment at the moment. They have advised that if I leave when my notice is over I am making myself intentionally homeless and they will not prioritise our needs. I basically have to stay and be evicted through the court before I am a priority.

Then I will 'most definately' be put into temporary accommodation which would be a B&B. They 'might' be able to offer me storage for my belongings at a reduced rate. However, they won't know this for certain until the day I approach them with my homeless application. That is the day that the bailiffs will evict me so I would have to leave the furniture behind as opposed to selling it if I had some notice.

Please don't get me wrong, I am gratefull we won't be on the streets but the whole situation is so stressful :(

I have an 11 yo and a 3 yo. The thought of staying in one room for months is daunting. I'm just visualising me sat in the dark from 8pm. Not even sure I'll have MN as I won't have my WiFi.

Also, the council women today said they will try to pu me in a food friendly b&b. When I asked what that meant she said some of the places they use don't allow any hit food in the room. You have to eat out for every meal. I was hoping I could pickup a cheap microwave and use that :(

It's going to be hell isn't it?

I'm kind of excited about only having one room to clean through and much less stuff to spread about

My advice charlie, is if your allowed ofc, microwave and mini fridge, we got one off gumtree for £5 it was invaluable. Most rooms have tvs, so check before lugging yours, dvd player however again invaluable, we had ours with us, bucket of toys, pencils and colouring books? Non perishable food. UHT milk, cereals, tins? Take an opener. My best find was microwave pasta pouches and stir in sauce, quick easy limited mess, and fairly healthy. And again could be stored anywhere. Take a dressing gown incase you don't get ensuite, nothing worse than being woken at night and having to get fully dressed to take a dc for a wee.

If your dcs are anxious at all, we took there character fleecey blankets to make the bunks more like their own, however our lovely bnb owner put winnie the pooh and mickey covers on for them, we were also all provided with breakfast which really helped. We also had wifi access but can your phone access the net? Or a mobile dongle o2 are around £10 pcm. That made a difference for me headphones on and I'd watch things online, visit here etc, dvds on the laptop and so on.

Again, want to talk or anything do pm me. Good luck, it really isn't all that bad, my dcs still remember the 'holiday house' fondly x

Charlie - the CanDo Lettings thing deals with landlords on your behalf. A friend's son has just got a bedsit through them with own kitchen area and bathroom. They even sort out the benefits and have paid the deposit and the rent until housing sort out his benefits. He's not had to deal with whoever owns the property at all - CanDo have done it. Your local Shelter office might have details of something similar where you are. Worth a try.

This friend has also been in your situation. She was renting privately had been given notice but had no where to go so she stayed put and the LL took her to court to get her evicted. She was then rehoused but didn't have to go into B&B and since then she's home swapped into a lovely new build that would cost about £230k to buy. Can you ask around friends to see if some can store bits and pieces of furniture and belongings for you if it comes to that? Let us know how you get on. You will survive it. Just think of it as a step to wherever you're going. Hope you get a lovely place at the end of it that you can call home.

Charlie dp & I are steaming livid on your behalf; you ARE NOT being unreasonable. No civilised country would put people under this sort of stress.
Wishing you the best of luck.

julia it happens time and time again, whilst we were in the bnb we met 5 other families and 12 under 18's who'd been in care and had nowhere to go, it was soul destroying.

I lived in a homeless shelter for 6 months with husband, toddler and pregnant. It was bearable. Some bits were awful... The other residents having screaming sessions at 4 am, drugs use in shared areas, kitchen items stolen and someone put gras s and worms on top of my food I was preparing for dinner...

The couple that had a knife fight and got evicted, the heart break of a couple who had a baby and then social services confiscated him 6 weeks later for no good reason...

Alcho-John, a gb year old man yellow from smoking, absolutely reeking of vomit all the time, with his filthy glass that he drank cheap cider from ask day every day... But loved the kids, playing chess and came to or wedding and even brought his mum and a gift... A smoke-stinky yellowed glass ornament of some lovers that had clearly ben in his room for years as he was a permanent resident. We has to bin it because we just couldn't remove the smoke and vomit smell.

The 17 year old couple who got evicted after we complained about theit drug use... They tried to break into our room, parked 4ever boy racer cars by or window and blared scary aggressive music while chanting "we willl fuck you up!" Until we had to be rescued by the police and driven to family for a bit... After that we took the temporary housing option.

It gets you less housing points, but it was a lovely house and ours until they found a permanent place. Definitely ask about temporary housing because it is so much safer.

I would make sure your older kid stays in the room unless you are with him. There were some nasty people in that shelter in cambs.

Good luck. You willl get through it and have interesting stories to tell.

Charlie are you on Facebook? There are lots of local selling and wanted groups on there. Maybe you could check there for cheap mini fridges/microwaves etc? All depends what you have available to you though.

Have you made contact with any housing associations that are operating in your area to see if they have vacant properties available for which you can be nominated from your local authority/council's housing waiting list?

Have you made contact with one of your ward councillors? As your dm is disabled, they may be able to help you be housed close to her home particulary if she requires your assistance on a regular basis.

Thanks guys :)

izzy, my local council are linked with all the local housing associations. The properties you can bid on are from all HAs and include some from private letters on an affordable rent scheme who offer 5 year tenancies so more secure then normal private rentals. I'm lucky in that it's all in one place. I can't bid on ones local to my mum though as its considered another area but I have stated a need to be in the town next to her which is our area. It doesn't look like I'll get a lot of choice though.

Swoosh - thanks for the Facebook tip :)

Flying - I am worried about the people we will end up with. I really hope we have a better experience but I know we'll get through it in the long run.

Julie, it doesn't seem fair I know but I do still feel ABU for feeling so hard done by. We will have a bed to sleep in where ever it may be. Some people Aren't that lucky.

State- I hope we end up somewhere similar. I've been wondering about what bedding to pack. I'm not sure if all places provided it or not? I'll pack their blankets anyway. They drag them about the house all day for snuggling in front of the tv etc so it will be good to have somewhere familiar.

My brother has promised to clear out his garage for my stuff so that's one thing to stop worrying about. I'm still going to have to ditch a lot though the couch and my dresser (which is a labour of love and I can't bear to part with) will fit.

My washing machine is broken and my fridge freezer is on its last legs so I was a bit glad to see two less big things to hump! And then DDs bed broke 2 days ago and I wasn't in the slightest bit bothered about that either! Silver lining to all this bad luck. But really, as long as I have my kids and somewhere warm and dry we will be ok.

Of course YANBU. This is a very stressful time for all of you.

If you need anything like a mini fridge or microwave, try freecycle before buying anything. Also would be worth putting a wanted ad on freecycle asking if anyone can store some furniture. I have space in my garage and if someone was being made homeless would be happy for them to use it fre of charge.

We were made homeless as kids. I don't really remember the place we stayed, but we got rehoused in a lovely house in an okayish area, with great immediate neighbours. Good luck.

Legally your council can only house you in a BandB for 6 weeks after which they have to put you in a hostel or a temporary flat. They may put you in a tempory house/flat straight away. It's pretty standard not to tell you where you are going to be placed untill the day you have to leave your current home.

I was in a BandB. I wasn't allowed a microwave in my room or any of my own electrical goods so had to eat out. I also had to be out between nine and five every day and there were no laundry facilities. Can prove very expensive unless you have someone living locally who can help out.

I am living in a council flat now. Looking back my landlord did me a favour as his flat was a damp shithole that made us ill. I now have a dry home with a secure tenancy so I don't have to worry about uprooting my kids every six months-quite fortunate compared with some.

Keep looking ahead to the light at the end of the tunnel.

The people staying in the BandB at the same time were ok.

Not sure if this helps you but my family were in an emergency accommodation in a B&B for a couple of months when I was a child. I was with my mum and two brothers (one brother and I were primary school aged and my youngest brother was preschool).

Although I am sure it wasn't much fun for my mum. my brothers and I loved it. I is still a really happy childhood memory for me. We got to stay up late, have fish and chips loads and the family that ran the B&B were lovely. They also had two dogs so it was like having pets. We treated it like an extended holiday.

I hope that helps you feel a little better about it. I can see as an adult it will be very difficult but hopefully your children will just see it as an adventure which should make things easier on you.

charlie you sound very optimistic which will help you, we had some idiots and some lovely people whilst we were there, just smile and say hello to everyone and then when you quietly complain someones done xyz no one will question it. Just because you have to be there doesn't mean others get away with making your life hard, our bnb was unique the owners lived in a seperate house so once we knew everyone it was like home, I was actually sad to leave, very happy to have my home, but I'd grown attached to where I was. Its hard to explain.

It really is hard to say what to take until you know where your going? Will your belongings be accessible once stored? Ours were over 100miles away so we just filled our car with what we thought we needed and hoped.

Hi charlie no YANBU at all and I think you sound very sorted and positive for someone in this situation and I am sure that will stand you in good stead

Good luck

Can the chidlrens father or your parents not help with a deposit etc for a private rental. Surely he doesnt want to see his own children in a B&B?

Perhaps if you can convince a landlord that the HB will only be temp for a few months whilst you gain work then may bend a little, not all can though as many mortgages and insurance companies exclude HB tennants.

You have a really positive attitude - I'm sure it will all work out. Get the 11 year old 'on side' and make it a bit of a 'treat/adventure' for the 3 year old. I hope you get somewhere nice, warm & safe quickly!

"Although I am sure it wasn't much fun for my mum. my brothers and I loved it. I is still a really happy childhood memory for me. We got to stay up late, have fish and chips loads and the family that ran the B&B were lovely. They also had two dogs so it was like having pets. We treated it like an extended holiday."

My kids thought all the McDonalds and chips they were fed a real treat!

The kids didn't feel the stress of it like I did. Although we only lived in one room the Band B itself was two massive victorian houses knocked together, DD thought it was a castle!

Hi Charlie,

I work for the housing department of a council in the south east, and deal specifically with homelessness cases like yours. I have to say, I am extremely confused by the advice you've been given about making yourself intentionally homeless if you leave before you've been dealt a court possession order. The way we manage it (and we're actually quite notorious for being harsh) is to say that whilst you do have a legal right to remain in your property beyond the S21 expiry, that the council cannot expect you to reside there if you do not wish to/ cannot do so.

So, for example, if you could demonstrate that the court costs (which will be awarded to you- be aware of that, it's usually at least £200) are unaffordable to you, I am CERTAIN that the council cannot argue the it is reasonable for you to continue occupying your property.

In fact, I'm guessing that the reason they've told you this nonsense about making yourself intentionally homeless if you leave after the expiry but before the court possession is because it means they have to ultimately pay less to put you into temporary accommodation. All councils are really struggling at the moment with not only the costs for B&B increasing, but the demand for it too. The number of people we're helping has increased by about 90% in the last three months alone.

I would speak to Shelter again and ask them whether the council could find you intentionally homeless if you left before a court possession order. I don't actually think what they've told you is lawful, and they should be held accountable.

Some practical advice for the time-being though, is to perhaps avoid agencies. We always advise that people look in the private sector where landlords advertise their properties directly to the public. We get people always telling us that they still won't take you without a guarantor, or without a huge deposit, or if you're on benefits, but it's simply not the case. The vast majority of people we see are able to find something in this way. Look in the local paper, look in the FridayAd/ similar if you have one in your area, look on gumtree.co.uk. Put an advert up online describing your family size and your budget for rent, and give them a contact number or email. If you present yourself well, and if you're polite and essentially don't look like you'll cause them a lot of bother, most landlords don't care so much about a guarantor or if you're on benefits.

You could also see whether your council would be willing to 'safeguard' your housing benefit, which would mean that it's paid directly to the landlord. So long as the rent comes within the housing benefit limit, this is enough for most landlords to be absolutely happy about taking on benefit claimants. It's generally that they're just concerned people won't be able to afford it and will fall into rent arrears.

Are you working? If not, or if you work part-time, you can apply for 4 weeks rent in advance from the JobCentre via a Crisis Loan. You might not get it, but see whether they would be willing to offer it to you. See whether your council offers a deposit loan scheme- negotiate with them and argue that if they would be willing to lend you a deposit, you would have a greater chance of not requiring their assistance for temporary accommodation.

Please let me know if you have any further questions or want some more advice, because it makes my blood boil when councils make the whole process even more overwhelming and difficult for people who are really in an extremely vulnerable position, rather than, you know, helping them!

It is also worth mentioning, Charlie, that if a Local Authority accepts your homelessness application they have a duty to pay for the storage of your belongings if they put you into temporary accommodation.

They keep mighty quiet about this, believe me.

Thanks again everyone for the messages and support :)

I'm up and down with my optimism! Usually down at about 2 am when I'm still awake tbh. It just feels very uncertain an it's not a feeling I enjoy. I'm more a planner and list maker!

Cushionyet - thats a lot of helpful advice there. I'm ashamed to say that the court costs hadn't even occurred to me so I will call the council first thing Tuesday and talk to them. I really hope they will be able to help me sooner rather then wait for the court order. I have has the intentionally homeless advice from both shelter and the LA though. It's very wrong if they are spouting this when it's untrue though as its a very stressful thing to go through. But I understand they must be struggling with a huge intake right now.

I have tried the local papers. And gum tree has been er, shall we say, interesting? Within an hour I had 4 scam emails with pictures of amazing fake properties they would let me while they were working abroad. They would kindly take a reduced deposit if I would wire it to them though...

I am looking everyday but I have never even got to the viewing stage as they just aren't willing to take HB etc.

Fiendish - I will ask and ask again about the storage. It was a 'might' but I guess they want me to try all avenues first before them paying out for it.

Stay in your house and get evicted. I have had numerous experiences with teh sorts of B&Bs they put young families in and they were not pleasant.
It is outrageous that the council are telling you to do this but if that is what you have to do to keep a decent roof over your head you must do it. I wouldn't wish B & B accomodation on my worst enemy.

I was homeless with my DS who was 3 at the time, we stayed in a b&b too and couldn't bring food, it was difficult but just temporary so I just got on with it. I was really skint too but a friend let me cook in their kitchen now and then and I focussed on making sure DS had something to eat but I survived on crisps and stuff that I could hide in the room - I know I shouldn't have done it but I couldn't afford for both of us to eat out every night and I had to make sure DS ate properly.

I had 2 suitcases and a bag of toys too and couldn't take any other furniture or any of our stuff as council couldn't provide storage and I couldn't afford it either so when we eventually got somewhere to live (we were homeless for a year and a half) I had practically nothing and had to slowly build stuff up. Thankfully i managed to get a few things from Gumtree and it was by luck that I met someone at a bus stop who was throwing out a kids bed and offered me it. My couch is from Brighthouse, expensive but was necessary for DS.