to think this is amongst the most socially awkward things you could say during a vaginal exam?

[RevoltingPeasant]

So I went for a VE today at a hospital clinic.

The dr doing it was quite weird from the start. I was actually going because I am a bit concerned about my pelvic floor but she concentrated mostly on DP's erectile dysfunction and announced that I am in 'psycho-sexual crisis' (hadn't noticed myself ).

Apparently I am 'suffering inwardly' ( ).

She also filled in the tick box form herself, answering most of the Qs herself, like, 'Have you ever received medical treatment abroad, let's put 'no'....' - I have as I have lived abroad most of my life!

But the oddest thing was during the exam, she said, 'I can't see anything wrong with your pelvic floor, normally it gets damaged through instrumental deliveries or multiple pregnancies. You know, like those African women, they have 6, 7, 8 babies - their pelvic floors are all screwed up.'

I would've quite liked to have marched out in a dignified fashion but she had her hand up my vadge.

AIBU to think this is incredibly weird?

Also giggling a bit too. Think you need to dig deep about your psycho-sexual crisis! Is that from over use or underuse of the toys?!

chuckling @ the thought of the pounding that thesaurus.com would take at the challenge of finding the appropriate vocabulary for such a letter!

Make an appointment with your practice manager, ask to see the records of the examination and then complain!

And you're absolutely sure she was a real medical doctor and not, say, someone from the hospital shop with a PhD in complementary therapies who just has a keen interest in gynaecology?

i have never had any kind of HCP ask me about sex toys

am at the thought!

I think she asked if you were angry because she was reading your vagina.

Oh yes

In fact I think you should go again and ask her to wait a minutewhile you attach Mrs Potato head-style 'angry eyes' to the bit just under your pubes.

That'll learn her

She's not a real doctor, she's the female equivalent of Mr Heckles from Friends.

"I could be a doctor"...

I think you are right Flightty, there was a woman that read bums on This Morning a while back, so entirely possibly. She said the Peasant was 'suffering inwardly'. Unhappy vagina.

Oh Sidge I had to have a bath after reading that

Flightty - I may NC to MingeOfFury

opener - I don't think the hospital shop would employ someone that weird - just the sexual health clinic!!

How bloody well off to start making racist comments with her hand up your fanj. Bloody hell.

I had a consultant tell me once - mid hand up fanj - that my fanjo and inner womanly bits wer 'like a teenagers' and then she said 'too posh to push you, were you?'

I was

WTF?? I'm all for holistic approaches to medicine but she'd have freaked me out so hard I'd have inverted by the time she got down there.

Not relly very helpful! Hope you get some relevent advice from someone less brickshittingly weird.

Enjoy your new crisis?! Have some wine, then more, then see if what she was on about makes sense - if it does you have your answer!

You should have farted, that would have soon shut her up :o

I once saw a gynae about issues I was having with my periods

after the exam, and looking at my history, she pronounced "you just need to eat more cake"

there was a cake on the desk that she had helped herself to, as had the attending nurse whose birthday it (apparently) was

it was most bizarre, this was 18 years ago and I have never forgotten it

I think she is the cleaner.

So if she was treating the whole body, did you have to strip off completely? Have an eye test? Check for nits?

She sounds an absolute nutcase.

Imperial Yeah, she suggested I should go to the urologist I've been seeing recently for kidney stuff and ask him about my pelvic floor. I said I wasn't sure he'd be interested and that's when she came out with the whole body line.

I keep trying to picture telling my buttoned-down, brisk, slightly-weird-around-women middle-aged male consultant that I want him to examine my pelvic floor because it's his job to be interested in my whole person.

I feel ashamed just thinking about it.

Although the panic on his imaginary face is quite amusing!

Whilst having a smear test the nurse told me that my mum loves me - I'd told her just before that I was depressed, she asked me why and I'd told her I was having problems with my mum. She seemed to wait until the crucial moment to give me this gem of wisdom....
thanks stupid nurse

I had a gynae mention vibrators once. I went to her because I hadn't had sex for nearly 2 years post birth (single) and when I did, finally, it hurt like hell.
She said it was because I had left it so long that the scar tissue had got hardened, and not been limbered up by having sex sooner. She advised me to get a vibrator.
So I did. (Doctors orders).
Actually, I think it hurt because the boy (he was only 24) was HUGE.

I need to book a smear but keep putting it off because the practice nurse is the mum of a girl in my DD's class. I'm sure she'd be very professional and I'm a student midwife so hardly squeamish about all things vag but I would struggle to meet her eyes in the playground after that...

Maybe she was newly-qualified, a bit nervous. Trying to be thorough?

I had a foot in the mouth moment during VE but it was my foot and my mouth.

I was having contractions at 30 weeks, in hospital, middle of the night. Registrar came to check if anything was happening and whangs a great mining lamp onto my bed. 'Looks like you're going caving' says I trying to lighten the atmosphere. Bloody woman never even cracked a smile.

Before I read the whole thread or even your first post Revolting, just the title: Most socially awkward thing you could say during a vaginal exam made me imagine what it could be.

"do you like fish?" sprung to mind.