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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think this is amongst the most socially awkward things you could say during a vaginal exam?

64 replies

RevoltingPeasant · 01/05/2012 17:06

So I went for a VE today at a hospital clinic.

The dr doing it was quite weird from the start. I was actually going because I am a bit concerned about my pelvic floor but she concentrated mostly on DP's erectile dysfunction and announced that I am in 'psycho-sexual crisis' (hadn't noticed myself Hmm).

Apparently I am 'suffering inwardly' (Hmm Grin).

She also filled in the tick box form herself, answering most of the Qs herself, like, 'Have you ever received medical treatment abroad, let's put 'no'....' - I have as I have lived abroad most of my life!

But the oddest thing was during the exam, she said, 'I can't see anything wrong with your pelvic floor, normally it gets damaged through instrumental deliveries or multiple pregnancies. You know, like those African women, they have 6, 7, 8 babies - their pelvic floors are all screwed up.'

Shock I would've quite liked to have marched out in a dignified fashion but she had her hand up my vadge.

AIBU to think this is incredibly weird?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 01/05/2012 17:09

Was she a proper Doctor? Confused

NettoSuperstar · 01/05/2012 17:09

How odd.

NettoSuperstar · 01/05/2012 17:09

And also, what Sparkling said.
It really is weird.

WorraLiberty · 01/05/2012 17:10

Announcing you're in in 'psycho-sexual crisis' was very weird Grin

As for the women she's treated who have had multiple pregnancies, well no doubt she was speaking from experience.

I should imagine they are shot to shit in most cases.

DameHermione · 01/05/2012 17:10

How very odd and innapropriate.

LittleEsmeWeatherwax · 01/05/2012 17:10
Shock

Are you sure she was a doctor?

She sounds extremely unprofessional...

McPhee · 01/05/2012 17:11

I don't know why but I'm having a small chuckle

Very sorry Blush

LittleEsmeWeatherwax · 01/05/2012 17:11

Oops, should actually read responses before I type Blush

vigglewiggle · 01/05/2012 17:12

I'm sure it is socially awkward, it's the medical negligence that would bother me more though.

chandellina · 01/05/2012 17:13

Well it is a fact that the birth rate is 6 or 7 per women in some African countries but it does sound very odd overall.

tornwhattodo · 01/05/2012 17:13

She could have worded things a lot better - and odd of her to fill the forms in herself without asking!

I had a gynaecologist once at age eighteen, was seeing her due to sebaceous cysts. She decided I didn't have sebaceous cysts (as they weren't too swollen at the time of examination) and that I must simply not know my own anatomy. I also disclosed to her that I had a vibrator - she then decided that I must not know how to use it, and proceeded to try and teach me by asking me to touch certain parts of my anatomy so that I could tell what was what, thinking I had mistaken my clitoris for a cyst (cyst was actually right under it - as another GP found it..). I was horrified - a few years on I'm thinking it was a bit weird and probably should have told GP or something, at the time I was just upset and remember crying down the phone to my mum when walking out!

Sparklingbrook · 01/05/2012 17:13

How did she know about Dp's ED?

mybabyweightiseightyearsold · 01/05/2012 17:14

During a smear once the nurse said to me - "have we met, I recognise you from somewhere"

Slightly uncomfortable silence whilst we both realised that we had met, couldn't recall where and that I'd probably had my pants on at the time.

Church. She went to the same church as me. So, that was awkward when we both realised "oh, THIS is where we met!" whilst thinking that hte last time we met you had your hands up my fud...I now go somewhere else, where no one has fished around in my fanny.

Anyway, go and see a physio about your pf. There's loads that can be done - the exercises are incredibly dull, but they do work. and, it's better than pishing yourself

And, be grateful you aren't an African mother of 10. Yep, she's an odd one.

RevoltingPeasant · 01/05/2012 17:14

Well, she introduced herself as a doctor, but once when she said she wasn't sure about something, she mentioned that she would go and get a consultant, so I am guessing she was a registrar/ locum/ whatever.

The psycho sexual crisis thing was so odd. I tried to explain I was there about my PF, but she said very earnestly 'We have to treat the whole person'. I was actually really having trouble myself from giggling nervously throughout most of it.

She was not from this country and I am just wondering if perhaps she has different ideas of care or something - it was weird though!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 01/05/2012 17:16

Well at least you know your PF hasn't dropped out. Grin

RevoltingPeasant · 01/05/2012 17:16

McPhee don't worry, I saw the funny side as soon as I left and have been sniggering to myself throughout meetings all day Grin I was just trying so hard not to meet the nurse's eye!

Sparkling she asked, just as part of general questionnaire, like are you sexually active, do you use contraception, when did you last have sex etc. It came out then.

OP posts:
RevoltingPeasant · 01/05/2012 17:17

I'd probably had my pants on at the time

Grin
OP posts:
AllYoursBabooshka · 01/05/2012 17:18

Sounds like she just wandered in off the street.

tornwhattodo · 01/05/2012 17:18

babyweight

Been there before - had a doctor once at OOH, she was approaching me with speculum in hand when I piped up: "I know you, I've met you before"

She looked confused, then mortified, then said:

"Church. You sit opposite me".

Funnily enough she's never been back.

tiredemma · 01/05/2012 17:19

" I would've quite liked to have marched out in a dignified fashion but she had her hand up my vadge."

ROFL

should be quote of the week.

RevoltingPeasant · 01/05/2012 17:23

tired Grin

torn - Oh. My. God. That is dreadful!

Thinking on it - this woman also asked did we use any sex toys/ vibrators when I told her about the ED. That was when she announced I was in crisis! Same woman????

Oh, and she also wanted to test me for HIV, gonorrhea, and chlamydia. I said that I was in a monogamous relationship, had been for years, and had previously always used protection, but she was very insistent.

I said, 'Fine, whatever' sort of thing, since she seemed so bothered - I mean, while she was up there and all.....

Then when she had taken the swab she said, 'I hope you're not angry that I did that' - er, no...? Hmm

OP posts:
lurkingaround · 01/05/2012 17:24

Sorry, am also giggling a bit esp at:

"The psycho sexual crisis thing was so odd. I tried to explain I was there about my PF, but she said very earnestly 'We have to treat the whole person'."

How strange. Presumably your DP knows he's also being treated (remotely) by this Dr. Grin

It is a bit funny. Odd, but funny.

Seriously tho, if you have a return visit, I think I'd request someone else and tell them why.

ViviPru · 01/05/2012 17:25

How mindbendingly weird this must have been for you. I'm glad you're able to see the funny side!

Depending on the time of the month my frame of mind at the time I'd have reacted to this episode with anything from passing mild bemusement to batshit apoplecticism and strongly worded letters to practice managers...

Oh and hi RP Grin

AllYoursBabooshka · 01/05/2012 17:27

I cannot believe how odd that is!

Poor old you. I'm sure you feel quite flustered.

Brew or Wine since it's after 5 O'clock

RevoltingPeasant · 01/05/2012 17:29

Hi Vivi!! I did go into Letter To My MP Mode for about 5 minutes after getting out but then just could not imagine writing all that in a serious businesslike format. Also she did spend ages with me, like half an hour probably because she had no other patients. I'm sure she thinks she is a really good doctor.........

OP posts:
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