to not end up with me in the Wet Patch every time?

[Sallyingforth]

Wherever we start, we always end up on my side of the bed. I'm sure he does it deliberately.

A bit South of The Bald Patch

Old Lady we need a video, or at least diagrams.

I will be seeing Hobbs Cross Farm in a new light now!
Tiggy it's Theydon Garnon although gammon does sound nicer

Well done Norm - amazing what you can find out from sitting in a portacabin all day

Fallenangel, I have searched Google, Wiki, and the Urban dictionary. I wonder if Norman writes the blog I found?

There is scant information there, and he has scuttled off disappeared. I think he has teased us with the promise of the holy grail when it is actually a chipped tea cup.

He's probably gone back to the Nobs.

Aww have gone all smiley inside with the memories of the wet patch banter!! (It's been a long time since that was an issue!!).

(I always copped the damp patch no matter what machinations I employed!! I think boys have secret lessons at school after girls have gone home)

If no tissues within reach then we use my hastily discarded thermal PJs. They are super absorbent :o and don't need them afterwards what with the glow and everything (no glow tonight.... DH watching football and me just off to bed with hot water bottle to get back to good book....)

DH and I keep a (soft and made out of labrador puppies) bog roll in the middle of the bed, between our pillows. Stuff a handful of that in the appropriate area, and go to sleep.

Try not to wince too much as you unstick it from your untended ladygarden in the morning

We are dead romantic, we are. 30 years together can do that to you.

That will be along with: how to do washing up so badly that she begs you not to do it, how not to be able to work the washing machine and how to scorch her silk top with the iron lessons.

I think Norman was referring to this:
tmoliff.blogspot.co.uk/2011/12/hobbs-cross-n.html

That would be what I linked to earlier, Sally!

Sorry, yes I missed the last page.

How about a contraception sponge

Shuffle to the edge of the bed and then to the toilet.

Just think of it as good exercise for your pelvic floor!

McH Is it one of Delia's recipes?

Yes, with extra filling

I have to sign off now. Something tells me I'll be needing the advice before long...

Im definately in the clench and run to the bathroom clan

Have fun Sally! The sponge is lovely and moist.

What works for me...

May work for you...

Towel under my bottom.
Pillow under my bottom.
Box of tissues on the bedside table (my side).

Bonk.
Come.
Withdraw.

Maybe a litt;e dribble on my tum.

Any excess dribbles on the towel.

Tissues for his cock and also to stuff between my legs.

All is calm and clean!

:)

Tis thread has now totally put me off sex. Disgusting visions of crispy towels and stinky fleece blankets....yuck!

The clench and dash to the loo manoever is favoured in the fluffy household

Or can you just ask him to change bed sheet while you get a shower I'm pregnant and UTI phobic afterwards?