To think I don't ask people why they did have children so don't ask me why I don't.

[Hammy02]

It is so rude and intrusive.

YANBU at all

YANBU! My best friend is child free by choice and the comments she gets......very rude indeed!! Having kids is not a requirement or a neccessity and quite frankly its no ones business if you chose not to have them!

YANBU. I have family members who either can't have children for medical reasons or have chosen not to have them.

It's very bad manners to ask.

Just say "well when I was convicted of the 29th dismemberment, the special forces rehabilitation team suggested it was better if I didn't have any" and smile sweetly. If they actually say anything after that, lean in and hiss "I could explain, but then I'd have to kill you" and look a bit wildeyed...

It is bad manners to ask. Who is asking you?

It is v rude to ask it - before I had ds it drove me batty

YANBU.

Mind you, not having kids is unusual. Not as in odd, just as in rare. And people coming across any rare thing tend to be sufficiently surprised that they open their mouths without thinking. It's not confined to being childless at all, it just seems to be a fundamental of human nature. Do something out of the ordinary, & people get tactless at you.

yanbu

I have quite a few friends that dont and I 100% respect and would never ask

Tis a huge feminst issue dincha know!

people are idiots, not everyone that has no children is in that position through choice, they should keep their thoughts to themselves

I was 41 having my first child and in all my childless years no one ever asked me why I didn't have them. I wonder, is it something people keep asking when you are much older? How rude of them.

I have noticed that a lot of people talk a lot of shit.

It means no more than this, but I can understand you getting pissed off about it.

I'm in my late 30's so maybe that is the reason why. I don't think it is that unusual these days to not have children & certainly not 'rare' as someone said.

It does upset me. It never used to happen very much at all, but as we've got older I get asked more and more?especially as I do get on with kids very well and so often have one (on loan) attached to my legs etc. I just say I would love to have children and people don't often ask more/again (though sometimes they do ask and argue with me and so on, which, then, obviously then I shoot them to death with my laser eyes).

People ought not ask, I think, but they will keep on doing. It's not worse than being constantly asked if I have sex and/or how, and people do that all the time (my DP is severely disabled).

YANBU. So many people with children are completely lacking in empathy as to why another person would not have children, even when that person is entirely happy with her choice. Ignorant and narrow-minded imo.

YANBU - it's a question that is at minimum mildly intrusive, at worst very upsetting.

acu - OMG, i can't believe people ask you if & how you have sex with your partner. how fucking rude and nosey, i hope you tell them they are nosey and to MTOB

I've never been asked why I don't have children. I am always asked if I do when I meet someone, as that is part of normal everyday conversation. When I say no, there is either an elephant in the room pause for several seconds, a very quick change of topic, or a follow up 'do you have dogs?'. I think people assume that if you are married and don't have kids there is a fertility issue or something, and it's best left at that.

I'd like kids, so I'm grateful not to have come across any interfering intrusive interrogatory types.

I dont think it is that unusual these days not to have children. On my floor there are about 20 women, about half of them in my age group (40s) and only one of those 10 has children. We are all in relationships. I for one didnt want any (am a stepmum before anyone asks why I am on here!!).

Occasionally I am asked (outside of work) if I ever wanted children in the past and I say, truthfully, that no, I haven't. I dont think it is rude of people to ask, tbh, I think they are just a bit intrigued sometimes. Also, I think often people want you to resond saying, oh yes I really did but never met the right man etc etc, so when you say no, I'm actually thrilled not to have children, they are a bit disappointed!! and maybe a teeny bit jealous.

AND DON'T ASK ME WHY I ONLY HAVE ONE CHILD EITHER - NONE OF ANYONE'S BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do sometimes (evilly) feel like saying 'You've got children?? But what if you regret it when you are older? You can't change your mind you know!'.....

"It's not worse than being constantly asked if I have sex and/or how, and people do that all the time (my DP is severely disabled)."

I don't know whether to suggest that you tell them that you do have sex, and it's with half the national rugby team, your neighbour's husband and your pet budgie, or that you merely tell them to fuck off. Actually, hey, both is a good idea. If you're too polite, I'll do it for you. And OP, YAdamnNBU either.

YANBU!

It's just sheer stupidity - regardless of the fact that it's none of their business, people who ask this question have no idea what might be happening to that person wrt miscarriages, fertility, death of a child, etc.

Think you might be being a tiny bit unreasonable. It's bound to come up sooner or later if you making friends with another woman especially. Perhaps they are in the same boat.
Strangers at a party or something is probably a bit personal though.

No one ever used to ask about my son's lack of a father. Turned out that was because everyone at school (small) had heard from everyone else that his father was my ex boss . It was only when someone asked me directly that I found this out and could tell them the rather less exciting truth.

No it's not nothing - there are 2 reasons why a woman is childless, either because they can't have any or they don't want any - either way it is very clumsy to ask and none of anyone's business. The only reason anyone would ask is out of sheer nosiness