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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the school can't ask this of parents?

90 replies

MrsShitty · 26/04/2012 23:32

It's a lovely primary school but I am Shock at the newsletter I've just read informing me that in the SUmmer the DC will be doin Forest School at a venue 2 miles from school...it's quite a rural area so it's not a simple two miles at all....the thing is ttaking place every other day for a week or more and we're being asked to drop off there and pick up there at normal school time.

I get the frigging bus to school...theres no bus to this place...my younger child is in nursery at the school and that's going to be very difficult...they have indicated that parents must drop off and pick up at this venue and that they may be ten minutes early or late to "simplify this"

I can't get there! I will have to foist myself and my DC on another parent which feels awkward....I don't quite know how to tackle this. How will parents who have very little time manage? Lots have jobs...should I say something? Surely they need to do a bus?

OP posts:
OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 26/04/2012 23:37

It does sound like it could be complicated! Schools don't think of that though, they think of the experience it will give the children. I've worked on a couple of forest school days, I think they are brilliant! The cjildren get loads out of it, hopefully you will find its worth finding the solution.

racingheart · 26/04/2012 23:37

YANBU. Ask the school if they can help with transport. there must be lots of parents in similar situations, needing to pick up from school. Can you swap with another mum who has a kid at nursery. She collects your DC from Forest school if you pick up hers from nursery? That way you don't feel like you're asking favours.

Still, forest school sounds amazing. Hope it works out.

WorraLiberty · 26/04/2012 23:38

My DS's school did a similar thing but they had so many parents saying they were unable to make it, that they hired a mini bus and the parents all paid a few pound each.

Might be an idea?

Original poster
MrsShitty · 26/04/2012 23:39

Outraged I know....I know it's an amazing experience so I feel churlish..but it's going to be so awkward!

I don't drive racing so I can't really pick anyone up...I have a couple of parents who help me out and I feel shit relying on them again!

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsShitty · 26/04/2012 23:40

worra I will mention it....I dont want to put my regular offers of lifts out at all if necassary by having to be another bum on seats!

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TeaTeaLotsOfTea · 26/04/2012 23:41

How can they do this???

I have worked in school appeals and so many parents appeal for a school because its on drop off to work or grandparents (who don't drive) take them etc.

What a ridiculous notion.

If they want the children to attend a different venue then they have to provide the transport just like they would if it was a school trip.

halcyondays · 26/04/2012 23:42

Yanbu, the school shoud arrange transport. It would be difficult for lots of parents who don't drive/work/ have other children/have childcare arrangements that involve children being collected from school, not from somewhere 2 miles away.

WorraLiberty · 26/04/2012 23:43

Thinking about it...

I'd suggest to the school that they put a letter out asking if any parents are willing to give lifts...and asking them to let the office know.

That way, lifts can be arranged without parents feeling like they're 'putting upon people' IYSWIM.

Original poster
MrsShitty · 26/04/2012 23:43

That's what I thought Tea It's like swimming! Or taking them to football at an outside location....loads of parents come from surrounding viallages and most work....I DO feel bad complaining...I may just say "this is very difficult for me and Im not comfy asking others for lifts all the time....can you consider a mini bus?"

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsShitty · 26/04/2012 23:44

worra that's very well but I'm not happy sending my DD off wth people I dont know in their cars...and I cant shove in like a lemon taking up space too!

I dont like putting my DC with people I'm not and they're not familiar with.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 26/04/2012 23:46

Yeah good point I suppose Sad

I don't know who thinks up these hair brained schemes at school...but it's happening more and more lately here.

TidyDancer · 26/04/2012 23:48

I think if they're parents of other DCs, you may have to relax your rule on that one. YANBU to be irritated with the situation as it stands, but it looks like you'll have to find a compromise or a way to negotiate the arrangements. If the school aren't going to put on a bus/coach system for the duration of the trips, you don't have much choice.

SeaHouses · 26/04/2012 23:52

I'd be in the same situation as you. DD is in a rural school and I don't drive. For many years, she got the bus to school. I'd phone the school and tell them that if the meeting point isn't on a bus route, DD can't get there. It is really up to the school to sort it out.

I don't think DD's school would ever pull anything like this though.

Original poster
MrsShitty · 26/04/2012 23:57

Tidy why? Just because someone is a parent does't make them trustworthy!
DD is a very shy 7 year old and Im here to protect her....so that's out of the question.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsShitty · 26/04/2012 23:58

sea I bet theyll just say "Oh she can squash in with so and so" and really that's not good enough imo. I'll have to say something though. There is a really nicce family who help me out but I can't bear putting on them again.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 27/04/2012 00:02

'Every other day for a week or more' isn't too bad though. It's not like it's for a term - it's only going to be 3 times.
I know if I could do it, I'd be quite happy to take others who weren't able to. I'm not sure what you are worried about in terms of other parents being kind enough to give your child a lift though ?
Agree with the suggestion about asking if there are any parents who might leave their number at the school office if they have spaces in their car though, to help out those who can't. Presumably, some of the parents driving there will also have other children at the school, so maybe you could keep an eye on them in the playground until school starts, in exchange for them popping your child in the car to get them to the Forest school. That way, everyone is helping each other out. It's called 'community'.

WorraLiberty · 27/04/2012 00:04

I'm sure they'll understand about your other child and the Nursery

Offer them some petrol money and if they don't take it, maybe buy them some chocolates or something?

I know you probably feel bad, but really you're not putting upon them if they're going anyway.

FizzyLaces · 27/04/2012 00:07

Can't you offer petrol money? I would do it for nothing if I lived near you and had space and I am sure most folk would.

TidyDancer · 27/04/2012 00:12

Well because it's a good way of getting your child to this place, tbh.

Ideally the school will make an arrangement to help if enough parents raise concerns, but if they don't, you need to be able to compromise. These people will be driving their own DCs, you can speak to them before hand. It's not like you're popping them in a random taxi (etc).

Original poster
MrsShitty · 27/04/2012 00:17

God. I'm just one of those people who hates having to rely on others....Sad I know it's stupid. It's also a form of conceit...I will try to get over myself.

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 27/04/2012 00:18

I don't like having to rely on others either, so I do get where you're coming from with that aspect. It's hard.

BackforGood · 27/04/2012 00:38

But it genuinely isn't an issue, if you are a driver.
My Mum didn't drive and she would never ask anyone for a lift. I tried for years to convince her that, if you were going somewhere anyway, it really, really, really, isn't any hassle to have an extra body in the car. Especially so as it's only for 2 miles I can see a chattering child extra might begin to grate after 3 hours or so.
Remember, this isn't a long term commitment, it's 3, maybe 4 times, when they are taking their own child anyway.

wheremommagone · 27/04/2012 07:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fedupofnamechanging · 27/04/2012 07:43

I wouldn't send my child off with some parent I didn't know very well. Also, what happens if your child gets ill/has an accident and you cannot get to where she is?

If the school want to do this, then they ought to provide transport. I would be telling them this, not meekly asking if it's a possibility. If they were not cooperative I would contact the LEA.

Sounds to me like they just haven't thought this through.

FallenCaryatid · 27/04/2012 07:51

Forest schools are an amazing experience that really can't be duplicated by an IWB or within the classroom.
So the school has tried to give your children an opportunity, but now there are calls for a minibus.
So the school puts on a shuttle relay so that the children can access the activity, but die to budget constraints, the ask for a contribution to cover the cost.
So more parents complain about the fact that schools are always demanding money.
And the next time the offer is available, the school thinks 'remember all the hassel and bad temper last time? Let's pretend in class instead and put up some virtual images instead'
OP, this isn't until the summer, are you really saying that it would be hugely difficult for you to attempt to become part of the community by building relationships with other parents to the point where you and your child get a lift?
How much do you expect of your children, constantly thrust into new experiences and making relationships and coping with challenges when you can't even face the thought of asking someone for a hand because it would be a bit awkward?