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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think the school can't ask this of parents?

90 replies

MrsShitty · 26/04/2012 23:32

It's a lovely primary school but I am at the newsletter I've just read informing me that in the SUmmer the DC will be doin Forest School at a venue 2 miles from school...it's quite a rural area so it's not a simple two miles at all....the thing is ttaking place every other day for a week or more and we're being asked to drop off there and pick up there at normal school time.

I get the frigging bus to school...theres no bus to this place...my younger child is in nursery at the school and that's going to be very difficult...they have indicated that parents must drop off and pick up at this venue and that they may be ten minutes early or late to "simplify this"

I can't get there! I will have to foist myself and my DC on another parent which feels awkward....I don't quite know how to tackle this. How will parents who have very little time manage? Lots have jobs...should I say something? Surely they need to do a bus?

OP posts:

FallenCaryatid · 27/04/2012 07:53

'Also, what happens if your child gets ill/has an accident and you cannot get to where she is?'

Ask to see a copy of the risk assessment that will be made, one of the adults on site will be a first-aider and the child would probably be transported back to school or to hospital by one of the named, responsible adults. Just like on any other trip.

FallenCaryatid · 27/04/2012 07:55

You are all correct though, it is much easier, cheaper, safer and less bother to keep the children contained within the classroom.

fedupofnamechanging · 27/04/2012 08:15

no one is saying that the school should keep the kids in the classroom, but it is not unreasonable, if they want to take them off site, to provide transport for those who can't get there. Not everyone drives and parents shouldn't have to rely on the kindness of strangers in order to get their kids to this activity.

It's only an opportunity for children, if none are excluded due to transport difficulties.

valiumredhead · 27/04/2012 08:17

Our primary school used to do this all the time and drove me mad! I used to have a word with the teachers and ds used to go with one of them and then I'd pick up from school. Talk to the school.

saintlyjimjams · 27/04/2012 08:21

Our scholar always doing this in the middle of the day. If I can't make it and can't find anyone to ferry ds2 or ds3 I let the school sort it out. I have occasionally taken an (unknown to me) extra as well passed to me by the school. Which has meant a quick sweep out of all the sand in the car before someone gets out looking like they've spent the afternoon at the beach

saintlyjimjams · 27/04/2012 08:21

School are (iPad)

Kellamity · 27/04/2012 08:23

What a fantastic opportunity but what a pain in the bum for you! In your situation I would get back to the school saying how you are delighted at this opportunity for your DC but unfortunately transport is going to be a problem as there is no public transport to the venue. You can't be the only person in this situation, at our school I can think if a few children in DD's class who would be in the same situation but also lots of parents who would be willing to help. Hope you find a solution

saintlyjimjams · 27/04/2012 08:23

Both mine do forest school btw - it is good, but luckily they have a wild bit in the (small) school grounds whic they use.

BIWIWhoMustBeObeyed · 27/04/2012 08:28

Well, you have been given plenty of notice of this. I would take advantage of this by notifying school of the problems you will have, and asking them to consider their other parents too - perhaps by consulting with all parents and asking who else will have transport difficulties. Then they/you will have a better idea of what kind of transport solution might be needed.

Asking them to help you out is not an unreasonable thing to do at all. And I bet you're not the only one with this problem!

seeker · 27/04/2012 08:32

Is there something on the letter saying "if this is difficult, please get in touch?"

If there isn't, the school is being very unreasonable- but tread warily- if too many people get too up in arms about it it might end up more trouble than it's worth to arrange brilliant things like this. Go into the office and discuss it. If they haven't thought about this then they need to. And quickly. The teachers will have to get there, so they may have spaces in their cars.

Like all the other drivers on here, I want to say that it really is no trouble at all to fill the empty seats in my car with other people's children! Actually, I like it- it's lots of fun, my dcs like it- an it's amazing what you hear if you eavesdrop as you drive!

But (sorry about this) you will be being unreasonable if you won't let your 7 year old have a lift if you haven't known the lift giver for years and years. Presumably they will have their child in the car too- and will look after yours as well as they look after their own.

StewieGriffinsMom · 27/04/2012 08:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Theas18 · 27/04/2012 08:38

Interesting issue. i'll watch this thread.

Let school know about your problems but don't expect them to pair you up with a child who can take your child- they might but would be misguided to do so in these days of over "over legalisation ". If SCHOOL is arranging lifts the parent should be CRB checked and there are insurance implications possibly for the driver too.

If its all done as a favour between 2 parents that is fine though.

CailinDana · 27/04/2012 08:41

Sounds like the school feels under pressure to do this either from governors or OFSTED and they're not really committed to it. I've been in schools where this has happened - "Oh we must show willing and do such and such" - some not-bothered teacher takes it on, doesn't think it through and it's chaos.

That said, they've given a good bit of notice so could you club together with a few other parents and arrange for a minibus to be hired? Or better still, suggest it to the school in the hopes that they take on the responsibility for organising it. It will be a nightmare for the school if a lot of students can't make it so it will be in their interests to do something about it.

Bunbaker · 27/04/2012 08:43

I'm with seeker on this. As a driver I would be happy to offer a lift to a child whose parents had no transport. It might give you the opportunity to get to know some other parents as well.

It is unreasonable of the school to assume that all parents drive/own a car. I would talk the teacher first and explain that your children would love to go to Forest School, but you simply don't have the means to get them there. I expect the school will have other parents with the same problems and they will be able to find a solution.

MrsKittyFane · 27/04/2012 08:45

Another example of a primary school assuming that there is at least one parent who has a flexible job or is SAH. Who has transport and
or knows a circle of people of whom they can ask favours.

It p*es me off.
Talk to the class's teacher and explain that you have no transport and therefore cannot take your DC there. Ask what provision there is for parents who don't drive.

cory · 27/04/2012 08:47

I think there is a good deal of space between "school never taking the children out of the classroom" and "school realising that not everybody has a car and communicating with the parents over this". As so often, it will mean some of the poorer parents being made to feel their lives are so odd that noone could possibly understand them or allow for them (been there, done that). I would ring up the school nicely and explain your difficulty and ask what they suggest.

But as seeker says, I think you should accept lifts. I really don't know how knowing somebody socially for years would make you confident that they would be the safest person in a car-related emergency. Dh goes around looking a bit gormless a lot of the time, to be perfectly frank, but he is a bloody good driver; the way he deals with mistakes made by other road users is simply masterful. You wouldn't know that from years of social interaction.

storminabuttercup · 27/04/2012 08:50

I agree that as a driver I'd be happy to take others, however don't children all need booster seats nowadays? So that's something to consider too. I think a mini bus is the most sensible idea, also means noone gets to school late!

seeker · 27/04/2012 08:50

It is possible that the doesn't care about whether kids can or can't get there.

It is much more likely that either the OP missed the bit on the letter about having a word if transport is difficult, or the school accidentally missed that bit off the letter.

Don't fume- go and ask. And if they are being crap, fume then!

GColdtimer · 27/04/2012 08:59

What seeker said. Forget all this "lifts" stuff. The point is the school should be more organised and checked with parents first.

Original poster

MrsShitty · 27/04/2012 09:43

cory that's it... I already feel odd in not having a car without being the one parent moaning aboout transport. Seeker there is nothing about what to do if you can't get there...also, if i do rely on others then what happens if they have a sick child and dont attend one or two days?

Do I go to school and run around trying to find someone else who is going? Or assume everyone else will already be on their way whilst DD and I stand in the playground with no teacher and no lift?

OP posts:

BsshBossh · 27/04/2012 09:55

Just talk honestly with the teacher. Let them come up with a solution.

GColdtimer · 27/04/2012 12:09

No mrss, you go and speak to the school about it first. Simple really.

IvanaNap · 27/04/2012 12:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn as this poster has privacy concerns.

valiumredhead · 27/04/2012 12:14

The teacher may ask round the parents and see if anyone can give lifts - that's what happened at ds's school.

BackforGood · 27/04/2012 12:14

Karma said "I wouldn't send my child off with some parent I didn't know very well. Also, what happens if your child gets ill/has an accident and you cannot get to where she is?"
The Op's child is 7. So that must be Yr2 or Yr3. The Op has said she normally drops off at school so presumably has at least 2x a day to stand and chat to othe parents (she says there is a Nursery there too) for at least 3 years and 2 terms, but possibly now 4 years and 2 terms. Plus other opportunities at school such as fund raiser,s assemblies and so forth. The other parents (who are available to transport children at school drop off time) are hardly likely to be strangers are they ?

Re the illness / accident. Apart from the fact illness that is so bad they can't finish the afternoon is fairly unlikely if they've gone there healthy in the morning, and there will be First Aiders present (in case of accident), the school will be in exactly the same position as if they had gone on a coach or 2 minibuses - they won't have a vehicle sitting there on the off chance someone has to be brought home early, whose parent don't drive. Are you suggesting that the OP's child / your child isn't allowed to be anywhere that isn't within walking distance, ever, "just in case" something happened that the OP/you wanted to be with their/your child ?

Transport is enormously expensive now - coaches/buses/minibuses have costs to be covered that make hiring them prohibitive - especially for a cleass of 30 (not quite so bad if you are sharing the cost between 50 people, but this is a class). I would not be impressed at having to send in £10 (£15?) each day, for the 3 or 4 days, when the centre is only a couple of miles from the school ~ presumably actually nearer to some people's homes than the school is.

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