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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think the school can't ask this of parents?

90 replies

MrsShitty · 26/04/2012 23:32

It's a lovely primary school but I am at the newsletter I've just read informing me that in the SUmmer the DC will be doin Forest School at a venue 2 miles from school...it's quite a rural area so it's not a simple two miles at all....the thing is ttaking place every other day for a week or more and we're being asked to drop off there and pick up there at normal school time.

I get the frigging bus to school...theres no bus to this place...my younger child is in nursery at the school and that's going to be very difficult...they have indicated that parents must drop off and pick up at this venue and that they may be ten minutes early or late to "simplify this"

I can't get there! I will have to foist myself and my DC on another parent which feels awkward....I don't quite know how to tackle this. How will parents who have very little time manage? Lots have jobs...should I say something? Surely they need to do a bus?

OP posts:

fedupofnamechanging · 27/04/2012 16:18

Firstly, some people don't have a choice re driving, be it due to cost of running a car or health issues.

Secondly, I was thinking of the times when school have phoned to tell me that my child has had a bump on the head/feels ill and they generally expect you to collect your child from the school. If they are teaching in a different location, presumably they would expect you to collect from there too.

Fine to expect people who can drive to take their kids to an alternative location, but they should provide for people who walk to school. Knowing other parents to talk to, doesn't mean OP should have to ask them for favours.

Costs should be factored into planning-that's part of the school's job.

seeker · 27/04/2012 16:23

So are you saying that the school should never do anything that isn't in walking distance? Because coaches are expensive- I can just imagine the complaints about having to pay for a coach for 3 days a week when it's jot a school trip, just where school is going to be that day.

missnevermind · 27/04/2012 16:32

Karma you raised a good point there actually.
These are the people that insist we should walkto school and bribe the children with badges so that they nag the parent too as well.
So this is moving the goalposts, by 2 miles.

seeker · 27/04/2012 16:37

How about schools justnnot bother trying to do anything fun and interesting? The children could just stay in the classroom all day. So much cheaper, easier and more convenient. And a much easier life for the teachers, too.

parques · 27/04/2012 16:47

What about people whose children go to before/after school club due to work. How will they manage? I couldn't do the drop - my boss would be {angry}

seeker · 27/04/2012 16:56

As I said. Leave themnin the classroom. So much easier forl everyone.

SeaHouses · 27/04/2012 17:00

Seeker, DD often does things within walking distance of school. The teachers walk through the pupils there and back.

SeaHouses · 27/04/2012 17:01

I'm not sure why I've put through in that sentence.

fedupofnamechanging · 27/04/2012 17:32

To answer your question, I don't think that schools should relocate to other locations and not factor in transportation issues. School trips don't have this problem, because parents drop their dc at school and then the school takes them to wherever they need to go.

Plenty of parents don't have the time flexibility in the mornings to drive a couple of miles out of their way to deliver a child to a new location. They may have other school drop offs to do, or jobs to get to.

It did irritate me that this became another dig at those who don't drive. Even parents who both drive may only have one car, which might be taking a parent to work, at the time when the dc begin school.

amicissimma · 27/04/2012 17:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fedupofnamechanging · 27/04/2012 17:36

Walking might not be an option - it rather depends on where this is located. Not all places have pavements and safe options to walk.

SeaHouses · 27/04/2012 17:53

As a non-driver, I wouldn't consider it as simple as just getting a lift from another parent. While I know that there are lots of lovely people who like to give lifts, I don't want to be a burden on other families.

I have organised my life around not having a car and using public transport. There are occasions when it is very useful to me to have a lift. If, for example, I had to get my child to hospital at a time when no taxi was available, or if a Brownies trip was starting with a meet up a distance away, or when DS went on a school trip that left school at 11 pm. But then I try and have ways of repaying that favour, by providing childcare, having kids for extra sleepovers etc.

It can be inconvenient for other people to give my child a lift. Usually parents like to give lifts to kids whose parents drive so that one family drops off and another picks up, rather than one family having to drive somewhere twice.

As such, I try to only take lifts when it is really needed, and not impose on people. If DD's school made an arrangement like this (which they wouldn't), they would be putting me in a position of squandering what I consider to be my quota of lifts that I can repay in other ways. And as such, I'd expect school to arrange transport (even if the lifts were done by parents, in a similar way to having helpers for school trips) so that is an arrangement between parents and the school, no parents and me.

So I totally understand the OP's feelings that she doesn't want to be beholden to other parents.

Sunscorch · 27/04/2012 17:54

I think the point is "find out more about the situation before you throw a wobbly and end up looking like a right dafe bugger".

Sunscorch · 27/04/2012 17:54

*daft

inchoccyheaven · 27/04/2012 18:08

Our school takes foundation class to a nearby forest every week, half of the class in the morning and the other half in the afternoon. They provide a mini bus and booster seats for all the kids. It is very sucessful but I can't imagine it being something that would have been an on going thing if parents had to drop off and collect from the actual place due to the various reason mentioned on here already.

bronze · 27/04/2012 18:13

I am exactly the same seahouses.

Mrsjay · 27/04/2012 18:23

yanbu to be pissed off but ask if they can get somebody to give him a lift . not everybody has a car I really dont think schools and organisations think about this when they expect parents to provide their own transport ,

yummumto3girls · 27/04/2012 18:40

I think the OP just needs to talk to the teacher and I am sure they will help sort something out, it really is not that big a deal. I am fortunate that I don't work so am always being asked by the teacher if I could take several other children to local events, usually at the local secondary school 2 miles away. The cost of hiring a coach is just too much so it is the only way it can work. We are a small school and all parents are happy to help each other. I have no problem giving lifts to other children, all parents know each other, as should the OP whose child has been at school for several years. I think the OP needs to have a little faith in teachers and other parents, if she is that worried then maybe the teacher can transport her as often ours does as well.

ragged · 27/04/2012 18:57

I would have thought OP could use taxis, too, if she doesn't want to "rely" on others.

seeker · 27/04/2012 19:09

"It can be inconvenient for other people to give my child a lift. Usually parents like to give lifts to kids whose parents drive so that one family drops off and another picks up, rather than one family having to drive somewhere twice."

How can it possibly be inconvenient to give a child to a place you're going to anyway?

And yes, that is how drivers sometimes arrange regular lifts to things- but that is not the only way. Not all of us will only do someone a favour if we are going to get a favour in return. You've managed to sound faintly martyred, and faintly rude at the same time!

seeker · 27/04/2012 19:15

Oh and I have a two friends who don't drive. One cheerfully accepts my offers of lifts for her children, asks for one if she needs it, and chucks me some flowers or chocolates every now and then. The other makes a big deal out of it, goes on about "only if it's not inconvenient" insists on meeting me at the end of her road so that I don't have the burden of driving 100yards out of my way, goes on about "oh, no, we can walk" when she's got a dawdling toddler, 6 bags of shopping and it's pouring with rain -I want to smack her in the gob!

Bletchley · 27/04/2012 19:23

Op you are being very negative about this, do you mean to be? It sounds great!

Bunbaker · 27/04/2012 20:00

I agree with seeker. If I offer a lift or do someone a favour it isn't because I expect one in return. I do it because I can. I would feel awful if one of DD's classmates missed out on a trip for want of a lift.

saintlyjimjams · 27/04/2012 22:55

Hmm usually yes, I agree. I drive but have a severely disabled child which prevents me helping out with a lot of lifts for ds2 and ds3. I have one friend in particular who is always ferrying them around. I am very grateful but she is quite happy sharing the occasional bottle of wine. She always says she would be going there anyway.

BackforGood · 27/04/2012 23:57

Back to the OP (+ couple of others who wouldn't "be able" to let their children hop into a car with a classmate for a 2 mile trip). As you are chosing not to try what seems the obvious route to most people, then that's fine. Is there a reason wht you can't arrange a taxi ? That way, only people who are choosing not to accept offers of lifts end up paying out, rather than the whole class, which is what would happen if the school booked a coach.
To my mind this is about how you deal with an issue - you can either look for solutions, or you can just moan about how unreasonable people are (in this case the school) for offering a great opportunity to your children

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