To let 10 year old DS have a knife ?

[JugglingWithTangentialOranges]

Well it would be a present from his DGPa and a penknife but I'm still not sure ...

DS was given the "Dangerous book for boys" by DGPa for his last birthday. He's really getting into it and has made a bit of a den at the bottom of the garden between some hazelnut trees - which he and DD are always climbing. In the Easter hols he made a great periscope with Grandpa using the plans in the book.

Trouble is on page one it has a list of essential things to own and these include a penknife. Now, I can see the attraction of owning such a clever and nifty little gadget with say 20 different tools and a hundred different uses.

But would it be asking for trouble ? You hear so much about the dangers of knife crime especially amongst teenage boys - and also I'm sure you could easily do yourself some accidental damage even if using it was kept to the den and at home.

DS is very keen to ask for one from DGPa for his next birthday. And DGPa is almost as keen to get him one WWYD ?

I absolutely am buying my dd one for her bday this year (double figures). We are an 'outdoorsy' family and no sees like the right time to teach her some skills and responsibilities

I wouldn't hesitate to allow a sensible 10yo to have a penknife. We had them from younger than that - more like 7!

I wouldn't expect a child of that age to ask me whenever they wanted to use it either.

I would once again gently urge all of you who say that you have drummed it into themmy son wouldn't dare to not take it out but let them keep it with them to re-think, how do you really know they haven't?

Because there is something called trust and respect in our house for all the rules

I wouldn't expect a child of that age to ask me whenever they wanted to use it either

There's that in my house too imnotmymum. You could probably ask most parents of children that have misused knives whether they ever believed in their wildest dream that their child could do such a thing.

And your child didn't do or mean to do any harm with the penknife did he MissF ?

• just that he wanted to show it to his friends and so took it into school when he knew he wasn't allowed to

I'd agree that most of us surely couldn't know that our child wouldn't do this, however much we might hope and think they would understand not to.

Surely 9/10 is the perfect age to allow your DC to own a penknife (if they ask for one of course). They are at the perfect age to understand and follow the rules and restrictions around more dangerous activities and it is not unreasonable to supervise them until a time you think they are competent and using it safely.

Sorry- don't agree with thei high shelf so he has to ask!

We operate on trust and respect too.

And if he went out with it in his pocket by accident, I don't really think the police would be very interested in an 11 year old Scout whittling a piece of stick! And even if they were, I think it's pretty unlikely that my child would end up in Guantanamo Bay.....

well you ask any parent whose child is in Guantenamo Bay and I am sure in their wildest dreams they would not have expected it seeker!!

My cousin whacked me on the head when I was 6 with a croquet mallet and I had concussion. He was a vicious little bugger but I don't suppose anyone would have given it a second thought. Kids can make nasty things happen with just about anything if they want to.

oh ORM sending a belated ice pack !!

With the "Only at home/garden" caveat, I totally agree. I cannot remember when my little brother or my Dad didn't have a small pocketknife in their jeans pockets.

My two DCs both had penknives at the ages when sibling hatred tension was at its highest, and they managed never to stab each other. I think the kitchen knives would have been rather more effective (and closer to hand) if they had wanted to anyway.

And it never occurred to me to put their penknives out of reach for them to ask for, they just had them with their usual stuff - yes, even when DD was five. She also had a proper woodworking set with real saw, hammer, nails etc from about the same age, and that wasn't hidden away either.

I think it all comes down to whether you think you can trust your DCs, unless perhaps they have very untrustworthy friends or you live in a high knife-crime area, where a strong talk about not carrying the knife outside the house would be a good idea.

Of course the Police would be interested in a child over the age of 10 carrying a knife.

"I forgot it was in my pocket" is to a Police Officer what "The dog ate my homework" is to a School Teacher.

They've heard it a million times before.

Worra I guess it depends where live. Where we are in rural country I think it is less likely to find someone without a penknife down at the woods or over the fields.

Ahh yes that's a point imnot

I live in London so I imagine there's a huge difference.

Only thing I would say is it may be OK at his age, because he is listening to you, but my friend found one in her younger DCs school bag, put there by her teenage DC when he borrowed it.

They had taken the same attitude that it was fine used appropraitely, it became an issue when he was carrying it around at 14.

My 10 yr old is a dab hand with a sabatier cooks knife with a 20cm blade. You should see him chop up a Jaffa orange

Ok. Scenario. Two 10 year olds messing about by a river, making a little raft. One is leg th's of stick with a penknife with a 2 inch blade. What's q policeman going to do?

seeker you on a phone by any chance??

The problem is not necessarily what DS would do with the knife but what another child might do if he/she had hold of it. DS could be educated to the nth degree about what and what not to do with the knife but if some other child said, 'Let's have a look.,' and went off with it... Your DS could then be in trouble for 'giving' it to the other child.

I am not against a child having a knife and using it properly but...

Not having lived in even a slightly rural area for a looooooooooong time, I dont feel qualified to comment on that aspect.

But in a city area like mine? The police would be very interested in a 10 year old with a knife.

The situation could easily escalate into something very unpleasant depending on what had been going on in the area, what was in the news, what local MP and counsellers had on their agenda etc etc.

You could end up picking up your kid from the local police station and explaining yourself to a social worker.

Its a shame and all that but I can understand why.

But isn't that all down to the 'rules' you put on using the knife ?
As I said earlier, my dc have penknives, but they don't go out with them when they go to school / park / round to a friend's house. They are taken (packed in kit) to some of their Scout Camps, and they can use them in the garden if they are doing something that involves needing a knife. No-one is allowed to carry knives in public.