To think 13 is too young to go on the pill

[toni76]

A report says girls as young as 13 should get the pill without a prescription. I just think 13 is sooo young (have two little girls). AIBU to think there must be a better way to stop 13 year olds getting pregnant?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17847069

(and also you have to pay for them otc at chemists and they are bloody expensive)

Teenagers have money to buy the things they prioritise.

some are on it to regulate periods or for acne tbh.

they do but they are not fully evolved yet, they have no reference points which is why we have to allow them to make mistakes but not mistakes so great that it will ruin the rest of their lives or at least deprive them of opportunities to succeed and find out who they really are. This is better for society I think it's damage limitation.
If you'd had said to me when I was 14, here is £100 but it's got to get you to college and back on the bus all month I would have probably gone and got a tattoo and some ben and jerry's and begged my dad / sat on the toilet on the train to college all month- we can't set teenagers up to fail they are just baby adults.

You can get condoms for free at family planning.

I have absolutely no objection to condoms and have said this over and again. Condoms are GREAT, they should be used, with the pill, without it, whatever you choose and kids should be properly educated as to the benefits of each type of contraception. If you don't know that you need condoms to prevent (or try to) STIs then sex education is lacking.

I have no idea why you've latched onto porn now. Surely if you're educated properly from a young age as to what these things are for you'll know BEFORE you start on the hardcore porn?

True blapbird, I spent all my money on booze, booze and more booze so that in the end I didn't even have the trainfare to get home. Do you really think that young teenagers, as young as 13 who might not be earning and who have no access to any kind of income, are going to pay a tenner for a pack of condoms?

This is what I mean about emotional maturity. The average 13yo would spend their money on sweets or downloads for their phone, not condoms. In fact for many teenagers sex isn't planned at all, it's just something that happens. Which makes it more important that condoms are much more freely available than they are now.

isn't planned at all, it's just something that happens

Which is why access to the pill is a good idea!

I fully agree with condoms being more freely available!

Yon, I'm replying to other posters now and not just you so apologies if I keep harping on about free condoms, some posters have mentioned condoms again and seem to be under the impression that teenagers will either pay for them or can just walk into a shop and get them for free. They are not free everywhere and I wanted to make that clear.

The porn is relevant as I was making a point about WHY teenagers feel under pressure to have sex and about society's attitude to sex which is all relevant when you are debating teenage sex.

Yes experience can back up points but some posters were implying that because they had sex at 13 or were in a long-term relationship at 14 that this must be the current state for most teens. I am arguing that actually, those are the exceptions and not the rules as backed up by countless surveys on the topic.

Unfortunately the first idea a lot of boys get of what sex is comes from porn and Page 3, and the nudge nudge wink wink mentality about it.

'Surely if you're educated properly from a young age as to what these things are for you'll know BEFORE you start on the hardcore porn?' Sex ed needs to be about more than just what you can catch from sex or the physical consequences (i.e. preventive medicine). The question of why boys feel they can be sexually active without condoms in this day and age needs to be studied and this problem needs remedying above all others.

People know why they should wash their hands after using the loo, but do they, every time?

If sex is something that just happens, how can the pill help? The pill can only help if a teenager is planning to have sex. It would only help if you put all teenage girls on the pill just in case they got pissed one night and had it off with their school mate. And if it just happens, then a condom is much more effective than the pill, as has already been argued very extensively.

I see, thanks for clearing that up!

The porn made no sense whatsoever to me in terms of the educational point (in maths post) it was put alongside, as if the proper education is in place from a young age, by the time they are exposed to porn they should be educated enough to know better. In theory.

"by the time they are exposed to porn" children shouldn't be exposed to porn. That, to me, is a far greater worry than teenage pregnancy because it taints the way our children view porn. If I go back to my link on the two girls interviewed by Newsbeat and the study carried out in which 71% of women I think, thought porn had a detrimental effect on relationships, it proves that exposure to porn is putting added pressure on young girls to not only have sex but to perform in the bedroom and from what they were saying, boys won't wear condoms because none of the porn actors do. Yes that is childish and immature but then these are children we are talking about, children who have regular access to hardcore porn.

It IS relevant.

view sex that should be, not porn.

I would assume that there's some form of contact with boys that leads up to sex rather than just accidentally falling on a penis one day? So if you're sexually aware and thinking that it 'could' happen sometime soon you'd prepare yourself.

They shouldn't be exposed to it, but they clearly are if they are copying what the porn actors do re:condoms.

If anything surely it makes it an even better idea to have easier access to the pill then if lads won't wear condoms as they are copying porn.

Again, we are talking about children Yon, not adults. They make rash and immature decisions and with those hormones raging around, you mix that with alcohol and you have a recipe for disaster. Wasn't there another survey that said most teenagers had sex whilst drunk?
You don't think "I feel sexually aware therefore I'd better put myself on the pill as I might have sex soon". You go where life takes you at that age, without preparation. Kids can't even remember their PE kits or to prepare for individual lessons at school never mind sex!

And if you do think that it could happen one day, you would not put yourself on the pill, you'd get some condoms. Unless of course you are led to believe that boys won't wear condoms and that the pill is more effective at stopping pregnancy. Kids don't talk about STIs, they really don't. Pregnancy yes, but they simply don't think about STIs.

Yon, if you accept that porn affects the way young kids view sex and therefore give girls the pill, then you are also accepting that this is just the way it is, risks and all. It's a very sexist way of viewing sex that puts the onus on girls to please men. I refuse to accept that.

I want to contribute to this discussion even though my children are now adults. So I am a bit out of touch with what its like to be 13 or even be responsible for a 13yr old. But there are a couple of points. Apart form the pill being used as medication. Hormone management will have some effect on a girls health/mood and may have future repercussions, and it need monitoring IMO. Why should she jeapordise her health, either by being pregnant or having to be on the pill.
I am concerned about the attitude of boys, as other posters have noted. Influenced by porn and the 'all girls are on the pill , so easy meat' possibility. And sure, girls want to explore just as much as boys do.
I don't think there is an easy answer. I think more attention needs to be paid to the boys part in this.
Other point - it's underage sex, and illegal, actually.

Good summary minimammoth

I don't understand this proposal. If adult women's health is so important that they have to get the pill through their GP, why is the health of a 13-year old girl less important? Or will the proposal also apply to adult women?

Second, 13 year olds are still children. I know several, and they're little more than babies. Most of them can't even make a cup of tea. How on earth are they supposed to cope with having sex?

I'll be the contraversial one here and disagree. Many children (not all) are maturing both physically and mentally, faster today than they have done in years. There is an arguement (will try to find the link) that society is trying to deny this and infantilising them.

We live in a helicopter parenting culture and the demographic on Mumsnet would reflect that. Children are young adults very fast today, we know that and we are trying to put the genie back in the bottle.

Having the pill won't change porn, it won't change sti's, it won't mean more 13 year olds have sex but it will protect against pregnancy

I think all of us agree 13 is too young to have sex...and it is too young to get pregnant.

I've honestly thought of this when my daughter gets older, and I do think I will be putting her on something...even Depro shots.

Now adays there are alot of grown women who don't use condoms, so if a 13 yr is going to have sex, chances are she won't use a condom, or argue with partner over putting one on.

The maturity level isn't there no matter what...and I'd rather prevent an unwanted pregnancy....

I must be incredibly naive but I dont understand how a 13 year old would ever be in a position / situation that would facilitate having sex.

MCL, despite your unfirtunate wording :o I agree