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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think 13 is too young to go on the pill

474 replies

toni76 · 26/04/2012 09:49

A report says girls as young as 13 should get the pill without a prescription. I just think 13 is sooo young (have two little girls). AIBU to think there must be a better way to stop 13 year olds getting pregnant?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17847069

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 26/04/2012 17:29

Here is a really interesting article on teen sex and contraception in the UK, which has the highest rate of teen pregnancy in western Europe.

'The results from our study clearly show that young people's ability to communicate is central to their use of a modern method. Young men who report feelings of love, fondness and intimacy as reasons for having sex the first time, and who thus do not fit stereotypes of masculinity, have significantly elevated odds of using a method at their sexual debut. Similarly, young women who say that they expected to have sex the first time, who appear to have taken control in discussing contraception and who feel comfortable (and presumably sufficiently empowered) in the company of young men, also have elevated odds of using a method at their sexual debut.

Our study also reveals the importance of parents in equipping their children with the skills to communicate and interact effectively with future sexual partners. Parents' willingness and ability to discuss sexuality openly and portray it in a positive light throughout their children's lives appear to impart both competence and confidence. In contrast, reluctance to talk about sexual matters and embarrassment in doing so reinforce negative messages of unacceptability and prohibition.

We also found that parents' openness and warmth and availability during their children's primary school years and early teenage years is key to young people's future contraceptive behavior. This finding is particularly pertinent for young men living in especially deprived neighborhoods, who appear to be less skilled and less willing than their more affluent counterparts to communicate with a first sexual partner. For these young men, engaging in this type of dialogue may threaten and challenge the gender stereotypes that their social environment reinforces.

In light of these findings, efforts to increase young people's competence to insist on contraceptive use, and thus reduce unintended pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections, should be multifaceted. Our different results by gender suggest that efforts need to be directed to challenging gender stereotypes and assumptions through gender-sensitizing activities and skills-based training in communication among young men as well as young women. Adults should also endeavor to provide a supportive climate where talking about sexual issues is acceptable, and where both parents and children feel comfortable talking openly about sex.

In the United Kingdom, as in many other countries, gatekeepers in the home, schools and elsewhere often are reluctant to acknowledge teenage sexuality and to foster a more open environment for discussing related issues. Indeed, as the British government increases its efforts to introduce more effective school-based relationship education, to encourage parents to discuss issues more with their children and to develop more youth-friendly services, a backlash has opposed these developments. For example, abstinence proponents have challenged government policies, arguing that more openness leads to earlier sexual experimentation. Our results will inform this debate by presenting evidence rather than rhetoric and by pointing to future policy directions.'

What this report suggests is necessary is a completely different culture wrt sex.

kistigger · 26/04/2012 17:29

I'm sorry, I haven't read all the posts...
Irregardless of whether it is too young or not, the pill is something that should be monitored, not just bought by anyone over the counter, especially a child. For me personally I went on the pill and spiraled into the depths of depression, which after discussing with my doctor and changing which type of pill I used, I went into suicidal depression.

I agree for many the pill regulates their periods and reduces skin problems etc. I understand that those who are going to have sex anyway etc will be able to save unwanted pregnancies.
I don't care what people say about sex ed in schools, they still come out with some real corkers about how you catch/what STI's are etc, or how you can stop yourself from getting pregnant etc - many of them are simply clueless.

I'm just concerned about the ones who are not open enough to be able to talk to a doctor/parent about going on the pill, who may just end up suicidal because of the changes in hormones and then be unable to talk to anyone about it because they were too afraid to speak to anyone before!! Nobody should have to go through what I went through, especially not alone!

mathanxiety · 26/04/2012 17:31

'I don't think there is an easy answer. I think more attention needs to be paid to the boys part in this.
Other point - it's underage sex, and illegal, actually.'

I agree, Minimammoth.

bossboggle · 26/04/2012 17:39

This post scares me!! 13 year olds on the pill and God knows what - I have two daughters and reading some of these things worry me!! My daughters are both now young adults. I agree about perhaps going on the pill for medical reasons but for anything else - no!! This sort of thing has to be monitored very closely indeed. Am I the odd one out in saying I have an excellent relationship with all of my children, two girls and a boy. They all know the facts of life and my middle DD puts it quite simply 'a boy can and will walk away - a woman/girl cannot - simple don't have sex until marriage or you have a very very stable relationship underwritten by a contract of some sort if you don't want a marriage!!' It isn't rocket science people!! (and she is only 21 folks!!) Called me old fashioned but when I was much younger it was an absolute no no to have sex before marriage. By the way I have been married for almost 30 years......... my husband to be loved me so he waited.....simple as!!

bossboggle · 26/04/2012 17:40

That's true mathanxiety - it is illegal - that's simple enough!!

YonWhaleFish · 26/04/2012 17:41

Yon, if you accept that porn affects the way young kids view sex and therefore give girls the pill, then you are also accepting that this is just the way it is, risks and all. It's a very sexist way of viewing sex that puts the onus on girls to please men. I refuse to accept that.

I accept your view on the mentality of a young girl re that of an adult.

I am hugely insulted by what you have put above.

I accept the fact that kids are exposed to porn. I don't think it's right, I certainly don't fucking agree with it - I don't agree with porn AT ALL personally but that's not what this thread is about.

Thinking it's a good thing for sexually active underage girls to have better access to the pill is NOT about "pleasing men". It's about girls who WANT to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancies being able to. I fully advocate that the male of the species should wear condoms. I really do, and I've said it over and over. I stated that I think educating kids from a young age properly in terms of contraception should lead to boys disregarding porn actors non use of condoms. In hopeful, perhaps naive theory.

Please do no make such ridiculous assumptions about my attitude to pornography and women in sex.

There was a good link to the pharmacists statement in this thread that should be read by those with concerns about monitoring the pill access OTC.

YonWhaleFish · 26/04/2012 17:43

It's illegal, yet it happens. Thousands of teen mothers and young people with STIs can't be ignored.

YonWhaleFish · 26/04/2012 17:44

And I have agreed countless times that talking and education are SO important re:sex and young people.

YonWhaleFish · 26/04/2012 17:46

boss why should sex only occur in a marriage or contractual agreement?

ThatsEnoughHasHadEnough · 26/04/2012 17:51

Children won't be buying the pill like you would a pack of paracetamol - it will be being supplied as commissioned enhanced service and will be free of charge.

Pharmacists will have been highly trained, in both sexual health and safeguarding children and vulnerable adults and will have clear referal pathways for when issues arise.

The pill will not be supplied without adequate checks, support and advice.

Now back to work.

YonWhaleFish · 26/04/2012 17:56

Thank you thatsenough (good nn btw)

mathanxiety · 26/04/2012 17:58

Why can't condoms be provided free as commissioned enhanced service? Why provide the pill that way when it requires all that monitoring (and good luck getting teenage girls back for their regular checkups and getting them to understand exactly how to take the pill correctly) and can have all the side effects mentioned by many posters here, when condoms are a good, easy to use alternative?

exexe · 26/04/2012 18:00

It's not just porn though is it?
It's the whole MTV culture and all those RNB and Dance music videos. I think they really skew both boys and girls view of how women should be ie that the should look and be sexually appealing.
Teenagers really get into their music and when the videos are full of semi clad women pushing their arses and breasts at the screen to go along with that music, its surely going to affect their view of women and sex.

YonWhaleFish · 26/04/2012 18:01

math that's an excellent idea to have condoms provided the same way.

YonWhaleFish · 26/04/2012 18:02

As a musing - a few people seem to object to the pill idea as they feel it will encourage underage sex in some way. Why do you not feel the same about condoms? That they would encourage sex?

Kayano · 26/04/2012 18:03

I got put on the pill for horrendous periods quite Young

Plus rather a 13 yo on the pill than a 13 yo mother Confused

ThatsEnoughHasHadEnough · 26/04/2012 18:06

They are - many areas have the c-card, more of a supply and advice intervention than a service - i.e we don't get paid!

Now really back to work!

JosieZ · 26/04/2012 18:08

Sorry if this has been previously mentioned.

This encouragement of use of the pill has reduced use of the morning after pill according to the news this morning, which is what they were aiming at, if I understand it correctly.

YonWhaleFish · 26/04/2012 18:08

Thanks thatsenough

yellowhouse · 26/04/2012 18:09

It is illegal full stop.

I don't understand what kind of message we are sending girls here - having sex is illegal, but here is a hormonal based pill you can use so that you can have sex? What about the medical care whilst on the pill? What about STDs? What about the psychological aspect of having sex so young?

We should just - as parents - take responsibility and ensure as a society that we stick to the laws that we have in place for a good reason. If my daughter did get pregnant at 13 I would think I have not supervised her well enough and would significantly reduce their ability to go around unsupervised.

yellowhouse · 26/04/2012 18:11

BTW I would equally object to distributing condoms to 13 year olds, for the same reasons above.

LynetteScavo · 26/04/2012 18:14

I will say 13 is too young to go on the pill when there are no under 16's getting pregnant.

Is 13 too young for sex? Well, yes, but it obviously happens. Not allowing under 16's any contraception will not stop them having sex. Is a 13 yo too young to have a baby?.....well, yes.

I can tell you, not having any contraception never stopped me having sex, when I was a lot older than 13 Blush.

jjkm · 26/04/2012 18:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LynetteScavo · 26/04/2012 18:16

"We should just - as parents - take responsibility and ensure as a society that we stick to the laws that we have in place for a good reason."

I agree, which is why mine and your DD are unlikely to get pg at a young age. However, there are some parents who don't supervise their DC quite so closely.

ThatsEnoughHasHadEnough · 26/04/2012 18:16

It isn't illegal. The commissioning of pharmacy services is complicated - I will try and get back later to explain, but I have four hours to work yet and my coffee break is over!