To think 13 is too young to go on the pill

[toni76]

A report says girls as young as 13 should get the pill without a prescription. I just think 13 is sooo young (have two little girls). AIBU to think there must be a better way to stop 13 year olds getting pregnant?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17847069

I dont see how its going to cause an epidemic of hiv and sti's the pill is already available to those under 16 through their gp and im sure the amount of teens that will take it up purely based on it being over the counter is probably rather small tbh

Visiting a GP is not as easy as you might think, especially if you don't want your parents to know. I was 16 before I went to get the pill, and it still took 4 months before i had a day off college, when I could get an appointment, where I could come up with an excuse to my parents as to why I would be gone all afternoon. Our GP was a half hour walk away, with no bus service, and always ran late. Getting it from a chemist would have helped me, and a lot of my friends were faced with the same problem.
And there are a few teenagers who are sensible- me and my partner both got tested before deciding to go without condoms, and had been together over a year. Teenage sex doesn't always mean taking risks.

I agree with Sound.

I've seen under 16's turned away for an appointment by the receptionist because she didn't have an adult with her. What if she was going for the pill? I know at 14 I wouldn't have been able to get a GP appointment without my parents knowing as I would need to take time off school and ask for bus fare. Even Fpc was a bus ride away. The only reason I was on the pill at 15 was because i confided in my mum who came with me.

MadameChinLegs Thu 26-Apr-12 17:15:22

I must be incredibly naive but I dont understand how a 13 year old would ever be in a position / situation that would facilitate having sex.

How about a young girl with her first boyfriend who is older thn her and is putting pressure on her to have sex? She has self-esteem isues and is completely dominated by him but he also has issues and is able to hide his domination and bullying from other people. She knows that unprotected sex is likely to lead to preganacy and goes with a friend to the local clinic after school.
Unfortunately it is too late as she is already pregnant at 14. She is able to confide in the school nurse and the parents are phoned at work to go in to school and are told the news at school by the school nurse and other staff. The 14 year old has already tried to arrange a termination but is unable to travel to the clinic. There now follows several appointments with various medical people resulting in a termination by the abortion pill.
This causes the girl, already sufering from self-esteem issues to be depressed and lose the spark that made her who she is. Her relationships with hr family suffer, as she feels she has let them down. her parents feel guilty as they feel they have let her down. She loses her friends and is the talk of the school. This affects her school work and a student who was looking at A*s is now looking at very low grades.
The gossips have a field day and the self-esteem issues are made worse. The rumours lead to a police man turning up investigating the discovery of a newborn baby's body to ask the girl if the baby was hers.
Meanwhile the older lad is still carrying on as normal, without a care in the world and in fact dos the same thing and another teenage girl ends up pregnant with her life turned upside down.

Telling teenagers that they shouldn't be having sex underage is not going to stop them. I don't really know what will but I am glad that they have access to contraception and advice, wherever it is coming from.

Insancerre...my naiveity isnt at the emotional pressure etc, more the logistical difficulties. A 13 year old girl, imo, wouldnt be staying over at a boys house or 'hanging about the streets' or have a boy in her bedroom or left home alone all day. Thats my naiveity...that the 'opportunity' wouldnt present itself.

Obviously this happens some places but it is this I find hard to understand.

Teens lie, say they are staying at a friends and go out say they are going shopping/cinema etc and go elsewhere, some may have to be in the house alone for an hour while parents get in for work or leave them home while they do some shopping then there is lunch time at school/free periods etc lots of oppertunities for a 5 min fumble tbh

Depends on the kids once my girls where at high school I rarely saw them at night often going straight to friends houses DD1's friends where mostly boys or older girls she hated the bitchyness of most of the girls her age I trusted my girls and they never let me down.

I was more inclined to be like this because I couldn't move as a girl even a year after starting work was expected to be in by 9 o'clock.

I wanted to have sex at 14. I had no pressure my older boyfriend wanted to wait but I didn't want to. My mother and I were always very open. I told her everything. She new where I was ect all the time. If my mum wasn't as laid back as she was I would of lied to her as my friends used to lie to their parents.

*by my

*knew

Either they are allowed to have the contraceptive pill, or they aren't. They have been allowed it for years and years - I'm 30 now and got it when I was 14.
What's the difference if it's more easily available? Surely that is a good thing, isn't it?

Of course it is a cost cutting thing rather than any moral decison (everything is now) but I can't see any harm.

If parents are worried then they should make it their business to work on their children's self esteem and strengthen their relationships with them - not ut obstacles in the way of them protecting themselves.

I am all for access to contraceptives; the only thing that would worry me would be lack of reliable family health history.

AFAIK, they only ask you in the GP if you know of any problems in the family such as DVT or diabetes. If you say no or you don't know they don't go checking your parents files. It would be the same in a pharmacy.

I don't see how a pharmacy is any less reliable in situations like these. You may have a family practice but it's unlikely you'll see the same GP every time or that they'll remember you and your family history to that extent after x amount of time and x amount of patients. I live in a relatively small city with more than ten GP surgeries and I have not once seen the same GP in our family practice more than twice in a row and there is a month waiting list if you specify a GP and don't go to a drop in session in the mornings/take the first appointment the receptionist gives you. Your files have some information but not all information.

The risk is also high for people who don't know their biological mother/father/parents, right? There are a lot of people who don't know one or both of their parents medical histories and just have to be assessed as is.

Also, the benefits have to outweigh the risks. The chances of an underage pregnancy are much higher than a side effect of the pill, I would have thought.

Most of the kids my DCs knew who were hooking up did it in the afternoon after school at home before parents got home from work. Most of the DCs I know who have parents at work are home on their own from age 11 on.

boschy

If they want to they will find a way.

Maybe this has been discussed but if not.....

Is a 13 year old "ready" for sex?

I don't mean physically- though some won't be that either...

but emotionally?

I am more interested in why a child would have sex. Most teenage boys are useless at sex, and it's not going to be that great for the girl.

Do girls who have sex at 13-14 feel " in love" or are they simply experimenting ?

Are they enjoying the sex?

Or do they feel they have to have sex when asked by boys?

Most relationships at 13-14 are not going to last. so is young sex something " recreational" rather than coming from an emotional attachment?

maybegoingwest just wrote a long thread that didnt post cheers mumsnet but in short i was 14 first time no pressure was just experimenting didnt particularly enjoy it but who does first time whatever the age? at 15 i had a more regular sex life than i do now at 26 and i certainly enjoyed it again no pressure i dont think you can put all teens i a box lots of different reasons and experainces

And also Yon, if there was a better education in place, if the porn issue was tackled, if society stopped trying to sexualise adults too young then this whole debate would be moot.

There would simply be no need.

What about teenage hormones? Children's bodies are becoming mature at a younger age than previous generations. One of the side effects of the pill can be loss of libido, is anyone going to say a teenager wanting less sex is a bad thing?

Exactly latte!!!

Doesn't it depend on any medical conditions whether you can take it too?

"insancerre Sat 28-Apr-12 17:41:28
Also, the benefits have to outweigh the risks. The chances of an underage pregnancy are much higher than a side effect of the pill, I would have thought."

Are yuo including chlamydia and HPV as side effects too?

I'd love to have time to read this thread. 13 is too young for girls to be in situations where they need to take the pill unless it is for medical reasons. If they need it they must have it but as a society and as local communities we need to do more to provide supportive networks and age appropriate activities for teenagers so that they focus on things that are more socially enriching than underage sex.