To think 13 is too young to go on the pill

[toni76]

A report says girls as young as 13 should get the pill without a prescription. I just think 13 is sooo young (have two little girls). AIBU to think there must be a better way to stop 13 year olds getting pregnant?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17847069

Sidge, glad to hear it.
I really think the key thing for me is that, by giving underage children anything other than condoms you're treating them as people who will have regular sex. With condoms, they're there if necessary, if not used, worst that happens is they go out of date. And they protect both against stds.

There is a big difference between condoms being easy to access and free and for young girls to be given hormonal drugs over the counter.

YonWhale - I know it does, my point was to illustrate how teenagers will often think they are ready for sex when they are not. If I had had sex then, I would have been another statistic that bitterly regretted it. Sometimes we need saving from ourselves, and teenagers need that more than most! After all, 13 is still a child and we are still their parents. They might not want to hear that we know best, but we do and our duty is to protect our children and equip them with the tools they will need to get through life relatively unscathed.

I dont think the pill shouls be given over the counter but I suppose it is for parents who you can go to. I would never ever have gone to parents and said I was going to get the pill I would of done it on the sly. Thats why I would want dd to come to me as it doesnt stop people having sex and I would rather know.

However condoms are everywhere and very easily assessible but they dont really make any difference to the birth rate imo.

The rate of STI's keeps increasing. A 13 year girl isn't thinking about her future chances of getting pregnant. The pill is a 1970's method of contraception.

www.avert.org/std-statistics-uk.htm

Should we be teaching safe sex or no sex????

I dont think we should be teaching no sex as its totally unrealistic and lots of teens do it behind their parents backs as they are just horny and thinking of the moment. I think we should be realistic

13 is not too young to be taking the pill for resins of controlling periods...but 13 is TOO YOUNG to be having sex.

How you stop a teenager having sex at 13, I don't know. Though I was not having sex at 13, it was at this age that 'other' stuff started happening.

I think I was too young and looking back at what drove me to this behaviour, it was a craving for attention and affection.

I think if a girl or boy tells a drop in centre they are having ex at 13, they should be offered some sort of talking group, maybe it should be a compulsory condition of getting the pill?

As a mother I pray my dd is never put on a hormone altering drug without my knowledge, but wouldn't want the availability of the pill to be stemmed just to prevent this. I am educating her to prevent this.

I'd rather my daughters be on the pill at 13 than pregnant,in an ideal world i'd like them to be mue mature in age and in loving relationships before they become sexually active but life isn't really like that, i hope they would come to me though instead of going to get the pill alone xx

But rhi why one or the other? Do condoms not stop pregnancy as effectively as the pill?

And surely if yout dd's not in am exclusive, loving relationship, that's even more of an argument for avoiding the pill!

They should be teaching no sex until your ready and then safe sex. Half of these issues seem to come down to peer pressure and wanting to 'keep' their boyfriend/girlfriend happy which is what is wrong.

there are so many studs about that you need condoms aswell.

A baby isn't the only thing you can 'catch' from having sex

therhubarb I don't understand what that's got to do with the pill?

Are you saying you thought you were ready as you were on it

Sometimes we need saving from ourselves, and teenagers need that more than most! After all, 13 is still a child and we are still their parents. They might not want to hear that we know best, but we do and our duty is to protect our children and equip them with the tools they will need to get through life relatively unscathed.

Yes. I don't think it's right that teenagers have sex under age but it does happen, so I think a valuable tool is to give them access to contraceptives both the pill and condoms if they need them in a way they will be likely to use.

(+ good education about sex / relationships / emotions)

I have a 30 year old friend that 2 years ago had sex with a condom, used as they thought correctly...now he's a lovely 2 year old DD!

I am concerned about young girls (who will be at various stages of puberty, some not even having reached the menarche) having access to any hormonal contraception simply on chronological age and without medical monitoring.

Not that they should be denied access, rather that there is a greater need for monitoring (ideally by a specialist nurse, also CP trained and alert to possible abusive and coercive situations). I also think that if the Pill is wanted to regulate periods, that should be done by the GP, not via self-diagnosis and experimentation OTC (different formulations between pills might be very important in those circumstances)

I don't however have any particular difficulty with the idea of easy access to effective contraception to younger teens. I lived abroad in a place where anyone could buy the pill OTC (not even a pharmacist check). There was a much lower rate of sexually active teens there, and I believe that was down to the attitudes and norms of the community in that specific location.

Reductions in the numbers if sexually active teens is something I would very much like to happen, but I think that needs to be tackled on many fronts other than the availability of contraception.

In fact, stranded it's quite a similar story to yours!

No Yon, I was saying that although I thought I was sexually mature because of the way I felt, I was still a child and making childish decisions like wanting to have sex with a strange man in his car in the dead of night. I wasn't thinking like a mature person but as a silly, immature kid. At 13, you are still a child and although you may think you are ready to have sex at that age, you aren't. Our kids are very very vulnerable in their teenage years which is why I suppose an increasing number of teenage girls find themselves in abusive relationships or don't question it when a boy refuses to wear a condom.

We, as parents, have responsibility for our children and we shouldn't have the attitude that "oh well they are going to have sex anyway so let's just make sure they don't get pregnant".

I know people who have got pregnant taking the pill. No contraception is 100% effective. Girls will forget to take the pill or not know that it's not effective when you have D&V and boys will not use the condom properly etc. It's all a risk.

I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand I would rather my DD were on the pill at 13 than pregnant. On the other hand I worry
a) about giving out medication which can have side effects from depression to thrombosis (I think ) without the kinds of checks a GP would do and
b) that there's a huge issue here about girls being coerced into sex which this move does nothing to address.

Lots of people have queried why the proposal is about the pill rather than condoms. IMO this ties into my second concern - the shocking reality is that it is often seen as entirely the girl's responsibility to prevent unwanted pregnancies. In the types of coercive situations described in that NSPCC report linked to above, there's no chance of the girl persuading the boy to wear a condom. He has all the power in that relationship. If he wants to force/coerce a young girl into having sex and he doesn't want to wear a condom, he won't wear a condom.
:(

I agree with stranded and yon I definitely didnt get coerced and wouldnt of been shy about insisting on comdoms or anything else, and definitely wouldnt of put uo wpith abuse or substandard behaviour. I was engaged by 18 though so just think I was doing things speedier than others! I dont think I was too young personally, but then a lot of peole being a teen bride/groom etc is too young but it wasnt for me and dh.

I see.

"oh well they are going to have sex anyway so let's just make sure they don't get pregnant".

Is certainly not my attitude. I just know that no amount of telling some teenagers "no , that's bad unless you're mature and in love" will make a difference, so contraception should be there.

It's two different problems lumped into one.

I wish we lived in a society where girls could mature first in their own time before feeling pressure re sexual activity.

But I'm not sure stopping 13 year olds from taking the pill would help with that.

When I was 15 one of my friends had a sister who got pregnant at 16. So my friend was banned from taking the pill in case she had sex

Oh and I also worry about the focus on pregnancy while ignoring STIs.

I dunno. It's a minefield.

I can totally see why a young girl who needs contraception might want to get it anonymously via a chemist rather than her family doctor. In fact, many doctors don't offer contraception (on religious grounds). I just worry that by making it so anonymous it is harder for parents/GP/concerned adult to talk to the girl about whether she's ready to have sex/whether she's feeling pressured/whether her weight/blood pressure etc mean that the pill is suitable for her.

Yon, yes it should but the emphasis should be on condoms and not on synthetic hormones over the counter at a chemists. Let's face it, a chemist is not a doctor or a sex education worker.

Yes teens are headstrong and will often rebel in just this way, but some teens also do it because they are scared of losing their boyfriend if they don't, because they don't want to be seen as a freak, because all their friends are doing it, etc. We can't assume that every teenage girl or child who has sex does so because she wants to and feels ready for it. Sometimes it is fully her choice and sometimes it isn't. We mustn't lose sight of the abuse issue because it DOES happen and giving out the pill is sweeping that under the carpet.