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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think 13 is too young to go on the pill

474 replies

toni76 · 26/04/2012 09:49

A report says girls as young as 13 should get the pill without a prescription. I just think 13 is sooo young (have two little girls). AIBU to think there must be a better way to stop 13 year olds getting pregnant?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17847069

OP posts:
TheRhubarb · 26/04/2012 11:51

And whilst I agree that abusive relationships aren't caused by contraception I do think that whilst more and more young girls are caught up in abusive relationships - as highlighted by the growing number of under 18s who cannot access domestic violence services as they are not classed as adults, that was on the news recently - we are spending more of our time just throwing contraception at them as if that will solve the problem. That's my point.

Society and the government are wasting time trying to appear liberal in giving teenagers better access to certain types of contraception (mainly for women) and they are completely ignoring the fact that more girls are being abused within relationships.

TupperwareTwat · 26/04/2012 11:52

Sickandtiredofitall, like you I was a prison warden mum when my DD was this age and needed protecting from some heavy pressure from a lad that I thought smoked cannabis and she was in love with him. Her behaviour had changed at home and at school.
I knew a lot about him cos I spied on her msn messaging and texts. I knew where she was every minute, I even took her out with me when I had to go anywhere, she was my shadow. DH thought I was over the top at the time but he and DD are glad I was like that now.

StealthPolarBear · 26/04/2012 11:54

Strangely I feel less strongly about 13yos having access to condoms. Protection against disease and pregnancy though, but less long term. There if needed but possibly won't be, is the impression I think condos give out. Also no hormone. I think my mum made sure I had access to condoms from an early age I never took it as encouraging sex but sort of "if you do then use one" attitude.

StealthPolarBear · 26/04/2012 11:55

Is feel exactly the same about larc. So I suppose my attitude is that condoms should be the only contraception option to the vast majority of under 15s, other than in some exceptional cases.

TheRhubarb · 26/04/2012 11:56

The Partner Exploitation and Violence Survey the NSPCC recently undertook shows that girls are most likely to be targeted and usually by older boys or men. In fact it's a shocking read and I would urge you all to have a look as this is the real problem we should be focusing on and not just throwing contraception at them.

There is something going badly wrong with sexual relationships and young people and we need to tackle it.

sickandtiredofitall · 26/04/2012 11:57

tupperware, i think you have to do this things and our DD will thank us one day, too much freedom leads to bordem which leads to mixing in the wrong circles which leads to this kind of thing. i will never think its wrong, i check her FB and BBM and know where she is every minute, i trust her and she really isnt into boys too much yet but i wont give her the chance....

YonWhaleFish · 26/04/2012 12:03

Rhubarb Excellent points, and I agree something needs to be done about it, but I still think contraception should be available in this way to under agers, if the risk assessment in terms of concerns raised about medical history etc is dealt with.

some exceptional cases There are a fair few of us prescribed the pill for period trauma below 15, so it's not really exceptional cases there!

StealthPolarBear · 26/04/2012 12:04

Prescribed through a gp though, presumably. Not the same thing. Add a "for contraceptive purposes" into the relevant part of my post :)

CowboysGal · 26/04/2012 12:04

I do wonder why it is considered a good idea to push/promote a synthetic hormone for young developing girls over condoms. Am I being paranoid in thinking the massive, profit turning, drug companies may have had a hand in this plan?
I would be much more comfortable with youngsters having access to free condoms otc and not just at family planning clinics.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 26/04/2012 12:04

Personally I think 13 is way too young to have sex, but it's better than them getting pregnant.

The question is surely why 13 year olds are feeling the need to have sex, and this is part of a much wider issue and is everybody's problem. Society has become so openly sexualised that kids think everyone's at it.

I'm so glad I grew up when I did and went to the school I did.

StrandedBear · 26/04/2012 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBear · 26/04/2012 12:05

In fact I do say contraceptive

StealthPolarBear · 26/04/2012 12:06

Cowboys that's a chilling thought.

In this area children can get condoms at drop ins, youth clubs etc. C card scheme. I know its in other areas, always assumed it was national

molly3478 · 26/04/2012 12:07

I lost my virginity at 14 and would let dd go on the pill if she came to me. I would make sure she always took it.

However when your a teen I think you think as soon as you go on the pill you can get rid of condoms (I know me and dh did that, and a lot of friends I know) so would want to try and make sure she continued to use them in case she had sex with more than 1 person over the years.

TheRhubarb · 26/04/2012 12:10

YonWhale, I was prescribed the pill too for my heavy periods, I had no idea what that hormone would do to my body. I bitterly regret it as the pill was responsible for the most horrendous periods of depression I ever had. I was suicidal at one point, thinking that I was just a horrible, nasty person that didn't deserve to walk on this earth. I stood in the middle of a road, right in front of an oncoming car which luckily swerved to avoid me, as did the next one before my then db grabbed me.

Those side effects are NOT discussed by the GP let alone a pharmacist. Do we really want our young girls, who are already susceptible to the hormones swirling around their bodies, to feel this way? After all the women I've spoken to who have had the same side effects whilst on the pill, this isn't just a small risk, this is quite a substantial risk.

Whereas condoms - no STIs, no side effects (apart from an allergy to rubber but now you can get non-allergy ones). So why on earth aren't they handed out free at pharmacists? Why does the government want to pump our young girls full of synthetic hormones?

And yes I remember being at that age and full of lust. I remember walking back home late at night once, hitching a lift and hoping that a man would stop whom I could have sex with. Yes, I was that bad. But thankfully I didn't. I would have argued that I was ready, that I was mature and whose business was it but mine? But now I shudder to think of all the situations I placed myself in that were potentially very dangerous. All because I didn't have control of these days when my hormones would rage around me.

TheRhubarb · 26/04/2012 12:12

Cowboy, you are right to be so cynical. And round here condoms are handed out at doctors surgeries and family planning clinics. If they wanted to make them more accessible, why aren't they handing them out over the counter at pharmacys? Why are they willing to hand over free hormonal pills to young girls but not free condoms?

molly3478 · 26/04/2012 12:16

I think its much more likely to have a baby young here a couple of schools have their own nursery attached as so many school girls have children. I think its never going to end and most people I know in that position had parents who believed in no sex until 16.

molly3478 · 26/04/2012 12:17

rhubarb - There are loads of places to get free condoms from.

oceanstwo · 26/04/2012 12:17

Can this be made into a mumsnet campaign?? - to get some answers about why the pill specifically is being pushed over other methods of contraception and teaching our children that it's ok not to have sex....

TheRhubarb · 26/04/2012 12:18

Where molly? Places as popular and as accessible as pharmacies? Or do young people have to make a special trip to get their free condoms?

Sidge · 26/04/2012 12:18

I don't think under 16s should be able to get hormonal contraception without being seen by a health professional.

And I'm a CASH (contraception and sexual health) qualified practice nurse.

YonWhaleFish · 26/04/2012 12:18

Stealth How could you prove it was being used as a non contraceptive treatment only? You couldn't.

The Rhubarb that's why I said this "if the risk assessment in terms of concerns raised about medical history etc is dealt with." I realise it doesn't specifically say anything about the side effects, but I did mean that to be a part of what I meant. I am sorry you had a bad doctor that didn't explain the risks, mine did, it's perfectly plausible that a pharmacist can be trained to explain the risks and side effects. You do get a massive leaflet with the pill that explains side effects also, very clearly.

I can't tell you why condoms aren't handed out by pharmacists, but they are available, free and without a prescription, which is the difference here. I have already agreed that they should be.

"All because I didn't have control of these days when my hormones would rage around me." That happens in teenage years without the pill!

StealthPolarBear · 26/04/2012 12:23

I wpuldnt want to prove anything. But if you go to the gp with a medical condition which the pill can treat and get given the pill, fine. Of course some will also take advantage of the contraceptive element. But the message is not "we're giving you this so you can have sex without getting pregnant", is it?

molly3478 · 26/04/2012 12:24

You can get them in our asda along with home clamidiya tests, you can get them at school our school always had bowls out and constantly handed them out. We used to get them in a kids clown party bag which I always thought was weird! In town next to mcdonalds they have a place where you go in an pick them off the table and they give you as many as you want and its ran by the council.

I suppose it depends on the teen pregnancy rate in your area

MrsHoarder · 26/04/2012 12:25

I don't think I "speak for a generation", and don't think that underage sex is inherently good, I just think that some of the opinions on here are a little too far the other way. Incedently I read that NSPCC report and think more strongly that young women of 13, 14 or 15 who are thinking of becoming or are sexually active should know contraception is available. It can be the carrot to get them into a clinic where questions are asked about the circumstances it will be used in (I was asked, but carefully so I only realised in hindsight they were looking for signs of abuse). It is about minimising harm and supporting young women as they start to make their own choices about their lives and bodies.

I also think that the majority of young women who want the pill for contraceptive reasons do not want their parents to know, but would you like to discuss your sex life with your parents? It is therefore important that they know that if they approach medical professionals for contraceptives that they know it will be confidential. Otherwise fewer will do so, and those that don't will be the more vulnerable again.

I intend to discuss my medical issues with the pill with my daughter around the time her periods start (as well as issues I have had with my periods) so she is aware of potential issues that might be hereditory. This means that if she wants to go on the pill at 13 or 31 she will be forewarned without having to come to me and ask about the pill. Hopefully she will not be taking it at 13, but it is better to get this line of discussion open.

I think very few opinions have been for OTC access to the pill, for various reasons including:

  • Lack of medical supervision
  • No-one keeping track of who is taking the pill The question the OP asked is "is 13 is too young to go on the pill?" This is different to "Is 13 too young to have access to the pill without any supervision?"
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