To think the term Attachment Parenting.....

[Softlysoftly]

.....is offensive? Because the inference is if you don't follow that theory to the letter you are not attached, or as attached to your child?

bloody hell LeQueen, I'm all for child centric parenting, but that is royal taking the piss. What a total diva that child will grow into!

LeQueen's post demonstrates the dangers of parenting. There is absolutel nothing "attachment parenting" about the situation she has described, but because of the labels, LeQueen might think that all those who did a bit of AP were raising an army of spoiled brats.

I am not offended by it but find women who feel they have to follow a childrearing 'model' strange. Instinct is your best guide as well as being as tuned in to your baby/child as much as is possible. Sleeping in a bed with your baby does not necessarily make you more attached to them, it just means that they are in closer proximity to you.

these things all do need names whether new trends or fads or what, so i know what to google to research it! i'd be a looooong time trying to find info on safe cosleeping etc if it was all just exclusively labelled 'parenting'

Agree - LQ probably saw UP which often goes with AP --but not in this house.

I prefer to refer to our style of parenting as expedient parenting, which just so happens to involve copious slinging, BFing and cosleeping. Had DS decided to sleep in his cot and be happy in his playmat that's what we'd have done.

Insisting that shoes are put on is also expedient.

"we plan to have our baby attached to one of us constantly via a sling or holding. It seems like the most natural thing in the world and fills me with endorphins when I think about it" - bettybat

"the idea of being permanantly attached to either DC fills me with horror" - FunnysInLaJardin.

It does that to me too, Funnys. I also tend to get that feeling that manysome parents who use the label have a superiority complex.

A dear and otherwise sane friend never used the label but never put her child down either. She went to the washroom, she handed the baby over to her older daughter or whoever was there at the time. All was well until one day I was visiting, I was busy doing something else, the daughter wasn't there so she popped the then 1yo plus down safely. Boy did that child scream as soon as she did! It transpired that this was the child's habit if A had to stop holding/carrying her. I was too polite to say that thing about making a rod but yes, I thought it!

LeQueen, you cannot be serious? 40 minutes to allow a 3yo to decide that she's going to put her coat and shoes on? Nooo! Who did the waiting? Just the mother or were you waiting for them both too? That would be one person I would not be visiting again!

I have seen parents like Lequeen's friend who are so child centred that they get nothing done , letting a 3 yr old choose when to put a jacket on its absurd they dont have the coping ability to choose when its a good time to put a jacket on we are the parents we gude children whats best for them not them choosing, AP sounds wonderful but I do think some parents can get it mixed up with the little people ruling the house and parents being powerless , but there is parents who dont AP that the littlies rule the house , so i guess swings and round abouts ,

LeQueen
I think thats called 'spoiling them' parenting

Pfft negotiating

LeQueen's example sounds more like Unconditional parenting which like Attachment Parenting could be construed as insulting or offensive in that those who don't "do" unconditional parenting love their children "conditionally".

However, they are labels pure and simple. A parent uses a handful of strategies and techniques with their child and some bright spark gives it label and makes money out of it.

We take a handful of strategies and techniques, for the rest we wing it and simply call it "by the skin of our teeth parenting".

It is a bit strange as attachment theory and attachment parenting are different things and people can get easily confused between the two, the inference being that if you don't follow attachment parenting to the letter you negatively Impact on your child's long term ability to form bonds, which is as far as I am concerned unsubstantiated hokum.

But for me personally, couldnt give a shit what it's called.

Attachment parenting... Meh not bad... 'Babywearing' however! Coming from someone who 'wears' her twins btw!

I like to call it cangetthroughshopdoorways-ing

YANBU... actually any two word description ending in the word 'parenting' is usually a load of offensive old bollocks. You're either a parent or you're not. No qualification, extension, 'school of thought' or fancy-schmancy pigeon-holing alters it.

sorry but how do you wear twins i am impressed

i once saw a nerophsycologist give a talk and she was talking about attachment and detachment , she was really interesting obviously knew what she was talking about , she didnt insist babies slept with parents but said having baby near you helped , eye contact face to face front facing prams/buggies all helped parents to attach to their babies ,

On Baby Centre there is a whole group of folk who call themselves Happy Hippy Mommies. The tag line is something like 'if you love your child and want to hold them all the time you are a happy Hippy Mommy'. The board is populated by folk who have massive tickers saying 'breast feeding, co sleeping, cloth bottom wearing etc' like qualifications in the good parenting exams.
The alternative is clearly those parents who don't love their children and can hardly bear to pick them up.
That is the sort of approach/smugness that show where labels such as AP have gone horribly astray.

One of the things I am enjoying about my third and final pregnancy (and believe me there aren't many) is not wasting my time reading any baby books, parenting theories etc. Like LeQueen I tend to favour an autocratic approach :)

LeQueen is 10 yrs old too late to adopt that do you think?

I've spent too many years doing the "I'm your friend who considers your feelings" parenting to recently "I will go apeshit at you and then cry" parenting.

I don't even know what it means nor do I want to either.

I champion Accidental Parenting.

"Shit! That worked! Do it again."

being your child buddy i would rather stick pins in my eye i sound such a hard face cow

My friend refers to it as That Sort of Parenting. As in 'I don't do That Sort of Parenting.'