To like the duggar family

[McHappyPants2012]

On tv they seem like such a close and loving family.

It actually irks me more than it should how large families (more than two children it seems) are portrayed on television. They are normally referred to as a brood or clan. Often showing chaotic,disorganised living. Or the Duggars.

We all have breakfast and dinner together,we are on time for school,we are all clean,neat and tidy. I do not have a naughty step worn out by various arses being sat on it.

Apologies for my rant.

Sheesh - I feel the need to defend the Duggars a bit here. I have personally met the family once (I live in the American semi-south) and they were absolutely lovely. I do not agree with their promotion of Rick Santorum or some of their personal convictions (i.e. girls wearing only skirts - although Mrs Duggar has said before that if they wanted to wear trousers it would not be forbidden, only discouraged...or that they don't believe in family dancing but they make exceptions for the little kids as they can't control themselves, etc - they're not total barbarians!) but they also do a LOT of community service and charity work, both in the States and abroad.

The older girls can live at home until married, even if they decide never to marry and just stay midwives or nurses or musicians or whatever they like, although all the girls do hope to be married one day (and why is that a bad thing? ) It's true that the family was struggling financially through the first 7-8ish children, but they actually got out of debt and were living completely without assistance from TLC before they were approached. Now they make even more, but they don't need it. If you see the frugal lifestyle they practice you'll understand why.

I do agree that they should allow the children the freedom of seeing other ways of living, etc. once they reach a certain age, but who are we to bash them for the way they raise them up until they are teenagers? And I've read Michelle's book and in it she has her bit about her version of blanket training - hers has absolutely NO mention of rods or switches used!!! They give a "quick correction" - meaning a sharp "no" or placing them back on the blanket without attention, then giving positive reinforcement when the child stays on their blanket. Michelle has stated that they don't spank, nor do they do "time out" - they teach the children self-restraint and love for others. How is that a bad thing?

Not everyone believes in grieving in private, so what if the children were told in front of the cameras.

Bit off to imply that they had a big funeral due to their pro life stance. Lots of people have funerals under those circumstances. Only difference is the film crew

The whole concept of what they do is vile. Have as many children as possible, regardless of your resources and then flaunt your way of life on TV.

If you ask me it's just porn for the Christian fundamentalist crowd i.e. performing extreme and slightly revolting feats with your reproductive organs for the entertainment of others.

Never watched the show as I wouldn't want to push up their ratings by 1 and they repulse me on every level anyway but I can't see how people who use their children as a means of proving an ideology and accessing mass media to spread that ideology can be good people. They are creepy. That whole 'Quiverful' movement is creepy.

They are also hypocrites - or at least the Quiverful movement is. They believe in allowing 'god' to decide how many chlldren they have rather than birth control and other 'modern' evils (people have been managing the size of their families through various means since ancient times but whatever... ).

Yet if you read about them, Michelle Duggar had numerous Caesareans, an operation that was impossible to survive prior to the era of modern medicine. A number of her children also had health issues that they would not have survived in the pre-modern era. So basically they will not limit their family size using the 'modern' evil of birth control but are happy to increase their family size through the artificial means of modern medical intervention like Caesareans etc. Idiots...

Not everyone believes in grieving in private, so what if the children were told in front of the cameras.

The adults in charge of the whole situation can choose for themselves, I have no problem with that. But they have no right to parade their childrens grief on international TV, it isnt their choice to make.

She's actually only had 4 C-sections out of 16 pregnancies (2 of them were her last 2 children, 1 was her first set of twins, and 1 was in 2004). Don't think that's too bad considering, but I do understand your point.

Jim Bob gives me the creeps with his excessive use of hairspray. That guy is so vain...

Only thing on this thread I didn't like was whoever said they had a funeral to promote their prolife stance. Thought that was a bit off. I used to love the duggars, I have four kids and always wanted more so lived vicariously but as more and more info came out I went off them

I think the 'funeral' was not so much about grief or self-promotion but about promoting their anti-abortion politics. Th logic being, if we have a funeral for a 16 week old miscarried foetus as though she had been a living child, then she was a real person. But having had the good fortune never to have miscarried nor to have needed an abortion, I reserve judgment.

Who are we to decide when it's appropriate to have a funeral for a child who doesn't live? Regardless of gestation, reasons for loss of life, whatever.. that was still their baby and they have every right to grieve for her, and say goodbye to her, however they see fit. Having a funeral for her didn't harm anyone did it? So what's the problem?

Sheesh. I get that people don't like the Duggars but it's a bit cruel to judge them for the way they grieve for a baby isn't it?

By having a funeral/memorial for Jubilee, they were acknowledging her as a person and part of their family, and I can't see anything wrong with that at all. I have never had a miscarriage, but I am sure that if I had, I would think of that foetus as being a person - after all, what's the alternative?

However, I do think that the children should have been told this news in private, and should have been allowed to grieve in private too.

I am torn about my feelings towards the Duggars. They do seem very happy and content with their life - but as others have said, how much do they actually know about the alternatives. And some of their attitudes about modesty seem to be based on the premise that no man can control himself, so women have to cover up - I believe that the phrase that is used is that an immodestly dressed woman is defrauding a man because she makes him think lustful thoughts. I did see the girls explaining how, when they are out with their older brothers, they use a codeword if they see an immodestly dressed woman or girl coming towards them, and the boys will look down at the floor until a second codeword indicates that it is 'safe' to look up again. I don't like this at all.

I do also wonder what would happen if, in their quest to let the Lord decide how many children they should have, Michelle were to die in childbirth. I think that the children's right to have their mother alive, caring for them, is greater than the need to have yet more children.

I don't agree with everything in their lifestyle, but their children seem happy, healthy, loved and well-adjusted. It's their choice what lifestyle they lead and what they teach their children, the same way as it is ours, and when their children are adults they will make their own choices. I'm sure there are worse things happening to children!

First time I've ever heard of them, on this thread.
They sound awful, but I've never seen anything on the tv about them.
Who are they and where are they?

Their programmes are on the Home and Health channel, I think - called variations on '19 Kids and Counting' - depending on how old the series being shown is. Iirc, they started with '14 Kids and Counting'.

I like them-but then one day as I was watching the show it suddenly dawned on me that their beliefs would deny my family its existence. I'm guessing that if god's in charge then assisted conception isn't allowed either. Then I couldn't put it all together and make the caring living sum of its parts a whole that I could cope with.

I had a funeral for my 19 nearly 20 week baby, I couldn't give a shiny shit about pro life stances.

He was my son, should I have just left him at the hospital to have a mass cremation?

maybe they did see her as a real person because to them she was

Never heard of them before today, but a quick google makes me believe they're a bit sinister....

I think this lot may have 21.

the Bates Family

Sorry to offend anyone with the funeral comment. I think it's a wonderful thing to do if it's for you and your baby. But I and many others are convinced that they did it for more fame, more money and because of their political beliefs.

The family refer to their 20 children, conveniently forgetting their first miscarried baby. Of course she wasn't pregnant with him when he was of use to further their causes.

Also the comment re their finances. Yes, they were debt free and don't take state handouts but they have always relied heavily on church members for donations be it their time/ clothes etc. They actually could not afford the children they had without significant help. The girls only ever wore flip-flops because they couldn't afford proper shoes.

I don't know much about them but is it right to assume that the males are only permitted to marry other believers who think the same thing about birth control and big families?

I find their beliefs horrendous. Their rigid views on gender roles are quite appalling, IMO. The older girls live at home, without any real opportunities for a meaningful life outside the family, waiting for the right young man to approach their father and ask permission to "court" them. Shudder.

Also, none of the children (boys or girls) are encouraged to pursue higher education. It seems as though their formal education is extremely limited, which I suppose makes a certain kind of depressing sense if you want to raise children not to question the circumscribed life they are leading (see also the Amish for a similar philosophy).

The Duggar family claims to lead a life far removed from all the scary influence of the secular world, and yet they place themselves smack in the middle of one of the trashiest possible manifestations of pop culture (reality T.V.) with their own show. I wonder how they explain that to themselves.

I'm really uncomfortable with parents putting their children into the position of being part of an ongoing reality T.V. program. They couldn't afford to pay for the gigantic house they were building until the network ponied up the cash. And now they happily accept all sorts of money, free trips, etc., while putting their children on display for the entertainment of the viewers. I think it is exploitation of those kids, plain and simple, and basically equivalent to the Dionne quintuplets, just updated with current technology.

I can imagine Johanna (now aged about 6 and quite a little spitfire) turning out to be the family rebel and writing a tell-all book some day.

I had a funeral for my 17 week miscarried (actually intra uterine death & subsequent induction of labour) fetus. Or as I prefer to call him my baby son.

My NHS hospital arranged it - as they do for all babies born after a gestation of around about 16 weeks - if we hadn't wanted to attend the funeral there would still have been a service for him at the crematorium & he would have been cremated & ashes buried in the baby section of the cemetery.

Perhaps he wasn't real & I just imagined pushing his body out of mine.

why do all their children's name begin with J?

The grandchildren's names begin with M, wonder if Anna's grandchildren will all be A's