Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

to hate doing the school run with 3 yr old DD

54 replies

CatsSleepAnywhere · 24/04/2012 16:08

I have no choice but to take her with me but I just hate the stress that is involved. She has reached the age where she is too big for pram/buggy to big for reigns although sometimes I use a "little life" bag with a reign attached.

I just hate the anxiety of trying to keep her safe near roads. I know one day she is going to have to learn that traffic can be dangerous and I do make her hold hands to cross the road.

I don't know if my anxiety comes from me being involved in a traffic accident as a child so maybe that makes me extra worried.

AIBU?

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 24/04/2012 16:10

YABU if you think she's too big for a buggy at 3yrs old

Also cos I'm an old fart I always made sure my kids held my hand at that age...whether they liked it or not.

School runs are good for 3yr olds as it gets them used to the routine of it.

Whirliwig72 · 24/04/2012 16:12

No completely sympathise. Have you thought about doing one of those traffic awareness courses with her where kids get to drive around in little cars, use pedestrian crossings etc in a make believe setting. Will go off and try and find link - back soon

Chubfuddler · 24/04/2012 16:12

I'd have a three year old on reins if they couldn't be trusted not to dart off. How is she too big?

StrandedBear · 24/04/2012 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

CatsSleepAnywhere · 24/04/2012 16:13

if I try to hold her hand all the time she has a "throw herself on the floor strop".

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 24/04/2012 16:15

Yes that's what they tend to do OP

However, I always found it best not to give in because I'm the adult.

Why is the buggy too small?

OddBoots · 24/04/2012 16:18

My dd was the same at that age, thankfully back then I was strong enough that if she started to throw herself anywhere it would be a fireman's lift over my shoulder and off we'd march.

TwoPeasOnePod · 24/04/2012 16:18

UUrgh, school run...HATE IT. You have my sympathy... It's such a boring bind isn't it. However YABVU to not hold your 3yo's hand, regardless of any massive level of tantrumming. Laying on the floor stropping is better than being hit by a car and killed, yes? You are the adult! Force that rigid grin on your face, ignore and drag the child along, DC will give up stropping eventually if you keep inanely wittering about flowers and trees pointing out interesting things to look at and distract. I do the school walk four times a day, rain or shine, with 18 month old who can't walk unaided and a newborn baby...Wanna swap?! Thought not haha

Original poster

CatsSleepAnywhere · 24/04/2012 16:19

Well, maybe the buggy isn't too small (although she is tall for her age) She just doesn't like it sometimes.
I sometimes don't have the energy to battle with her (I have mild depression/anxiety).

OP posts:

Petsinmypudenda · 24/04/2012 16:20

I used to get this with ds1.

I left 30 mins earlier and when he started just let him fall to the floor and stop, I would just stand there and ignore him, then once he got up i would carry on walking.
It didn't take long before he realised we would be carrying regardless of his tantrum

Original poster

CatsSleepAnywhere · 24/04/2012 16:22

I used to pick her up and carry her when she was having a strop but then I done my back in so that adds to my anxiety about picking her up now.

OP posts:

Chubfuddler · 24/04/2012 16:22

Buggy then. When she can act like a big girl she can walk like one.

kilmuir · 24/04/2012 16:23

i had a 3 year old who was happy to walk, just very slowly, had to go in buggy sometimes just to keep me sane!

butterfingerz · 24/04/2012 16:23

My DD outgrew her pram at about 2.5yrs, as in she wanted to walk everywhere so I'm with you on that one.

What causes your anxiety, does she not like holding hands, does she run off?

My DD is 3.5yrs and walks 4/5 days to preschool and home, I'm quite strict in that she holds my hand whilst crossing the road. I just don't take any daft behaviour near roads, what mummy says goes!

I was in a serious RTA when I was 16 so I also get anxious around busy roads and in the car too... so I totally understand how you feel!

WorraLiberty · 24/04/2012 16:24

I think this is the problem OP...'she doesn't like it'...'she might throw herself on the floor'.

Tantrums can be mortifying for parents, but they are all part of having children.

It takes strength and determination to deal with them but we've all been there and the safest thing you can do now for your child, is to start as you mean to go on.

Whirliwig72 · 24/04/2012 16:24

www.trafficclub.co.uk/
Here we go

TwoPeasOnePod · 24/04/2012 16:25

Petsin 's suggestion above is excellent actually. You will wear her down in the end and she will give up! Like controlled crying I suppose..Controlled walking. Or reward chart? Especially with your depression etc, take measures to make life easier for yourself and don't worry if other parents are thinking she's too big for the pushchair. My eldest DD is 4 and a half, and she went in a buggy on a long trek at the weekend because she had twisted her ankle and couldnt walk unaided. Couldn't give a toss about people looking, and tutting

treadonthecracks · 24/04/2012 16:26

DS is huge and, as I had my nephew too, was still using a double when they were 4!

We walk along a busy main road and keeping the two of them safe was my priority.

valiumredhead · 24/04/2012 16:27

Why is she too big for a buggy at 3?

butterfingerz · 24/04/2012 16:29

My DD never tolerated reigns but would go with a wrist strap, would that be an idea? My DD has gone through her fair share of tantrums and she used to be a bolter, tis very stressful.

A little snack to distract her? bribery

TheHouseofMirth · 24/04/2012 16:30

"I know one day she is going to have to learn that traffic can be dangerous and I do make her hold hands to cross the road. "

OP have you really not done any road safety with her yet? I have a 3 yo and whilst I am a long way from trusting him to run on too far ahead without me he is perfectly aware of how dangerous cars can be and has been for quite a while.

valiumredhead · 24/04/2012 16:31

Snack in the buggy on the way up to school and then quick run round the playground while you wait then back in the buggy on way home - sorted.

Meglet · 24/04/2012 16:34

Just put her in the buggy. My 3.7yo DD still goes in the buggy, her big brother didn't fully stop using it until he was 4.6. I have zero tolerance for dawdlers or tantrums in the mornings, we go at my speed .

RedHotPokers · 24/04/2012 16:35

She is NOT to young at 3 to understand that roads are dangerous IMO.

However, I know how hard it is to have a DC who won't hold hands. I am SEVEN months down the line with trying to get DS (3.1yo). Almost every day for the past 7 months he has fought, tantrummed, screamed - all because he hates holding hands (mind you he also hates the pushchair!). I was convinced I would 'break him' eventually (mentally not physically ), but no such luck. There has been a small improvement on the walk TO school, but walking back is hell!

Insist on handholding or pushchair, and then have a stiff drink when you get home .

Original poster

CatsSleepAnywhere · 24/04/2012 16:39

Right, I think I will try and use the buggy again and stock up on a few snacks --for bribery--

If she goes in it without too much trouble it will save me the worry and keep her safe.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3